A Firesign Chat
02/13/2003




Archive


Special appearance by
Phil Austin

||||||||| Catherwood re-enters the Waiting Room and explains "This is the main discussion room which is logged each night."
||||||||| Catherwood announces, "The time is 4:33 AM - I now declare Thursday's chat log for February 13, 2003 officially open!"... and then, he retires back to the vestibule...
||||||||| With a theatrical clearing of his throat, Catherwood pipes up: "8:28 PM and late as usual, it's General Buck Turgidson, just back from Billville."
General Buck Turgidson: Dammit, I'm gonna have to fight this War all by my self
||||||||| Catherwood strides in with a trumpet, plays a fanfare, and proclaims "Nine PM on Thursday, February 13, 2003 - I now declare alt.comedy.firesgn-thtre's chat officially open!"
||||||||| Catherwood strides up and snorts derisively "Presenting 'Ken', just granted probation at 9:03 PM", then leaves hurriedly.
Ken: ten-hut! general in the room!
||||||||| Catherwood ushers Merlyn into the room, accepts a grimy quarter as a gratuity, mumbles something about 9:03 PM, then departs.
Ken: hey brian
Merlyn: hello
Ken: general, it's been a while since i've seen "dr. strangelove" but your name seems to ring a bell. are you from that movie?
General Buck Turgidson: ok
General Buck Turgidson: Atten-Hut
Ken: pizza-hut
General Buck Turgidson: No Pizza in the war Room recruit!
General Buck Turgidson: Goatheart would eat it all anyway
Ken: we're bringing the war back home
General Buck Turgidson: fat bastard
Ken: mmm, goatheart. a delicacy. best sautéed with garlic and butter
Merlyn: peter sellers does a version of the Beatles' "she loves you, yeah, yeah, yeah" in the voice of Dr. Strangelove
General Buck Turgidson: See the front page of the NYT
||||||||| Catherwood enters with Elayne close behind, mutters something about disrupting his 9:07 PM tree-stunting plans, and runs off to the Aviary.
General Buck Turgidson: Ack-ack @ the washuington monument
Ken: hi e
General Buck Turgidson: oi
Elayne: Evenin' all!
Merlyn: You can download the MP3 of it at http://idisk.mac.com/sallystew/Public/goons/SheLovesYou_German.mp3
Merlyn: hello
||||||||| A time machine materializes at 9:08 PM and cease steps out, carrying a grape from ancient Greece.
Ken: downloading now, thankx
cease: hi el, buck, ken, merl
General Buck Turgidson: Heh, I put Guernica on my front page
Ken: how's the kitty cat?
Merlyn: hi cat
Elayne: That Sellers routine isn't in the voice of Dr. Strangelove.
Elayne: Oops.
cease: i avoided seeing it in spain. i don't need to see it on line
Elayne: My husband says it's the voice of Laurence Olivier doing Richard III.
Ken: ah, the fabled tapestry at the u.n. that can't be seen
Elayne: Oops, sorry, that was Hard Day's Night.
Merlyn: maybe one of the other versions; the german version is strangelove
cease: was he paul's grandpa?
||||||||| Uncle Ernie sneaks in around 9:10 PM, trying to avoid Catherwood because of last week's "unpleasant incident."
Ken: cat, i think it would be one of those very emotional things. not for the faint of heart
Uncle Ernie: G'day Y'all
cease: hi ern
Elayne: Hi Cat, Ernie!
Ken: hey ernie
Elayne: He was very clean, I understand.
Uncle Ernie: Hay Ken, Cease, Elayne
General Buck Turgidson: http://www.nhgazette.com/chickenhawks.html
Ken: yeah, general, i've seen that.
Elayne: Robin thanks you, Merlyn. He doesn't have this version. :) He has three other ones.
Uncle Ernie: Yes I've had the addy on my site quite a few times a real eye opener Buck.
Elayne: Oh dear, now Robin's playing me the other versions of the Sellers "She Loves You" routine. See what you started? *sigh*
General Buck Turgidson: No surprises to me
cease: as in canonball addley? great musician
Uncle Ernie: I ccan walk mine fuhrer!
Merlyn: elayne, go here for more sellers and goon show: http://homepage.mac.com/waynestewart/goons.html
cease: walk tall, walk tall, walk talll
Elayne: Thanks Merlyn. We're currently listening to the "Chinless Wonder" version.
Ken: http://www.snopes.com/military/limbaugh.htm
Ken: for the truth about rush limbaugh's military history
cease: just like shaq and the chinese guy in the nba allstar game
cease: who needs world trade towers?
Elayne: Robin thanks you, Merlyn. He's just bookmarked the page.
Elayne: He said it hasn't got "Now is the Winter of our Discontent," though.
cease: steinbeck? he dead now
Elayne: (You knew all of these were produced by George Martin, yah?)
Merlyn: I know sellers knew the beatles
Elayne: "Winter of our Discontent" is brilliant. Sellers doing John Lennon reading Richard III.
Ken: ja, meinfraulein
cease: georgie, martin biter
cease: he's a spy and a mink defilter
Elayne: That's the bit Rob's playing for me now. :)
Uncle Ernie: Bob Steinbeck is dead, bummer!
cease: have another stein, beck
General Buck Turgidson: Many bummers these days,. soldier
Uncle Ernie: I thought he was a spy and a girl delighter?
Elayne: Hey. What's a "descant?" That's the punch line to the bit, and I don't get it, and Robin won't tell me.
Merlyn: a stein of beck
Ken: not to be confused with the midnight toker
Uncle Ernie: As you were Buck, I's white!
Ken: descant is a musical term, but it's been so long since i've heard one, can't describe it to you
General Buck Turgidson: I'm Camo and proud, dammit
Elayne: Thanks Ken.
cease: ah steve miller before he became popular
Elayne: Oh, I get it, it's a pun on "descant on me non-deformity."
Ken: if you really want info, i'll google for you (no extra charge!)
General Buck Turgidson: You all need to vote in my Poll re: the REAL threat To America: Marsupials
Elayne: Heh, 's okay, Ken, I figured it out from the context (and the pun).
Uncle Ernie: It's the melody above a fugue is memory serves?
Ken: pouches are a communist plot, for sure. just look at australia.....
Elayne: The site doesn't have "Money Won't Buy Me Love" either, it looks like. Maybe it's mislabeled.
cease: the fugs, once cost firesign a job
||||||||| Outside, the 9:21 PM downtown bus from Funfun Town pulls away, leaving Grumpy Riant coughing in a cloud of diesel fumes.
Ken: ernie, you might have won the prize here, sounds right anyway
Ken: hi, grump
Grumpy Riant: Hi All
Elayne: oops, "Can't" not "Won't."
Elayne: Hi Grump!
Grumpy Riant: Howdy Ken
General Buck Turgidson: We don't say bad words like "Fugue" around here!
cease: hi grumpy. i hope it isnt catching
Grumpy Riant: Hey E
Ken: anyone here heard the beatles/metallica hybrids? if you want, i'll find a url for you
cease: unless you're norman mailer
Elayne: Heh, now Rob's playing "Help" as -- dang, that's Catherwood's voice!
Uncle Ernie: Tell that to Bach General!
Ken: i'm a first-class mailer
Grumpy Riant: Howdy, continue cease
cease: or not
Elayne: "I've opened up the door!" Heh, is this your door knocker?
Uncle Ernie: GR what up?
General Buck Turgidson: Bach? That Kraut hippie?
cease: my door has knockers?
Grumpy Riant: Not too much Ernie
Uncle Ernie: Ya das is ver goot mine general!
Ken: http://www.sensoryresearch.com/~starkeff/letitbe.mp3
Elayne: "The Church Beatle will pass among you... no foreign coins please..."
Grumpy Riant: Specifically speaking, howdy General, speaking
General Buck Turgidson: Looks like a free love type to me
Elayne: See what you started tonight, Merlyn? (My husband knows far more Sellers than I do...)
Merlyn: all I got is albanian quintars
cease: no euros? damn, i thought i could get rid of them
Ken: that's the beallica version, called "the thing that should not be". about hybrid children
Uncle Ernie: Sorry E I'm an Atheist!
General Buck Turgidson: Oi Grump
cease: not a bee theist?
Ken: cat: save your euros, they are worth a lot more than dollars now
General Buck Turgidson: Hybrid Children need extra batteries? No?
cease: i know
cease: maybe when we return, we'll buy paris
Ken: "in the name of the queen bee, the drone, and the worker, amen"
Uncle Ernie: Naw Cease I used to bee one but I got stung!
Grumpy Riant: Just pull their strings
General Buck Turgidson: Then they never stop talking
Uncle Ernie: I don't mean a thing if you don't pull that string!
General Buck Turgidson: horrid things, they are
Grumpy Riant: Mine is paper trained and can read
General Buck Turgidson: but you can plug a blendor into them and make a nice frappay
Ken: does it read the same paper it's trained to use? that could be messy
General Buck Turgidson: Anyone here Remember the movie "The Magic Chriastian"/
Grumpy Riant: Flannigan impression for creative art and other facts
cease: its the bees and the spiders again
Ken: i remember the name, never saw it though
Merlyn: "papers, please!"
cease: vaguely. ringo was in it
Grumpy Riant: Starkey , Sellers
Uncle Ernie: If youu want it here it is come and get iy a cult classic!
Merlyn: keep an eye out for a good ear
General Buck Turgidson: Wonder if that's on VIDEO
Ken: didn't badfinger do the music for it?
General Buck Turgidson: very weird flick
Uncle Ernie: Yep
Elayne: Rob's just been looking up that movie, Buck. He's never seen it. Some very interesting cast members.
Elayne: Written by Sellers, Cleese & Chapman.
Elayne: Roman Polanski's in it.
Uncle Ernie: I liked the rowing scene!
Elayne: Milligan's in it.
cease: terry southern was on a roll
Merlyn: also has john cleese and graham chapman
Ken: ah, the hybrid child molestor
General Buck Turgidson: I think everybody's in thee party scene
Grumpy Riant: There was a young girl from....
Elayne: Yes, music was by Badfinger. "Come and Get it" was the theme tune.
Ken: that's graham "cracker" chapman to you
Uncle Ernie: I thought I said that?
Elayne: Sorry Ernie, conversation going by a little fast. :)
Merlyn: amazon has it on DVD and VHS
General Buck Turgidson: Keep your Badfinger on your place in the script, e
Ken: for those of you on drugs: o n e p l u s o n e e q u a l s t w o
Uncle Ernie: No sweat sweetie A classic cult film, in my top ten list of cult films!
Merlyn: cleese is an auction guy, chapman is just a member of the rowing team
Uncle Ernie: Ken could you repeat that again?
General Buck Turgidson: I have to get it
cease: i must rent it one of these days
Ken: what? forgot what i was talking about there....
cease: when did it come out? loooong ago
Merlyn: if he repeats it again, that'll make three times
Uncle Ernie: 1970 is memort serves?
Merlyn: 1968 or so
Elayne: '69.
General Buck Turgidson: I saw it in '74 at a drive in in San diego
Grumpy Riant: I have the sound track on vinyl
Elayne: Or '70, depending on which website you believe.
Ken: 69 is a magical number for the magic christian
Uncle Ernie: In a similar vein what about Candy!
General Buck Turgidson: Anne Erotique a la Serge Gainsbourg
cease: southern was rockin and rollin
Merlyn: gak, the image of richard burton licking a glass-bottomed compartment is seared in my brain
cease: interesting article about him in last year's harper's by plimpton
||||||||| Bubba's Brain waltzes in at 9:33 PM carrying an obsidian door knocker.
General Buck Turgidson: You all want to hear about soome weird karma?
General Buck Turgidson: Bubba
cease: and speaking of brains....
Ken: hey bub
Ken: speak, karma-man
Bubba's Brain: Hey
Elayne: Hi Bubba!
Uncle Ernie: Hi Bubba?
Merlyn: pat robertson's prostate cancer?
Grumpy Riant: Bub!
Uncle Ernie: Just gods way of saying f-ck you Pat!
Ken: i thought that was john kerry's prostate cancer
General Buck Turgidson: The other day, I got a cheque numbered "911" from a fireman, and I saw a bus to BVabylon getting on the Thruway at New Paltz
Bubba's Brain: Whoa.... for I didn't think I entered 6 for font size, but it came up that way......
cease: oral roberts' cancer of the pocket
General Buck Turgidson: Babylon rather
Uncle Ernie: Kerry has already had his operation.
Ken: was it on route 666?
cease: sisters? shake it
Merlyn: try to reconfigure, BB
General Buck Turgidson: Pat Robertson's cancer is NORMAL karma
Uncle Ernie: Babylon sisters shake it? Yes they do!
Bubba's Brain: did so already... actuaclly just hacked the location bar, changed teh 6 to a 3.
General Buck Turgidson: Jezebel, et al
||||||||| Catherwood strides up and snorts derisively "Presenting 'doctec', just granted probation at 9:36 PM", then leaves hurriedly.
Bubba's Brain: So, I guess the Dell Dude, proved marijuana isn't a Gateway drug.....
Grumpy Riant: Pat can't extend his staff across the toilet water
doctec: evenin' all
Ken: hi tom
General Buck Turgidson: bwhahahahaha
Uncle Ernie: Whats up Doc?
doctec: taking a brief break from red shifting
Bubba's Brain: Hey doc.
Grumpy Riant: hey Doc
Merlyn: hewwo
General Buck Turgidson: oi
doctec: buck, i couldn't agree more (oy vey)
Merlyn: that reminds me; doc, did you forward that email about "Brewhaha?"
Ken: doc: here's one i saved until you arrived: "There are exactly 10 types of people in this world: those who understand binary numbers, and those who don't. "
Bubba's Brain: Ha ha?
General Buck Turgidson: Brouhaha? HA HA hA
cease: doc
doctec: no i don't think so - which one was that?
Elayne: Hey Tom!
Uncle Ernie: Thats very logical Ken.
Merlyn: just someone wanting to use the name; I'll forward it
Bubba's Brain: There's 2 types of people -- those who divide the world into two groups, and those who dont....
General Buck Turgidson: hell I just use any old name i like
doctec: cat: thx for steph lines (i had 'em all along though... looking at the waveform i thought it was another three takes of whoever it is who reads the main radio beijing lines... i was late, it was tired...
Ken: there are 3 types of people: those who can count and those who can't
doctec: ken: lol - good one!
cease: of courese, doc
cease: its a big project
doctec: i think i may start using that as my sig
cease: F taking steph out for birthday lunch tomorrow
doctec: has bunneeboy already come and gone
doctec: ?
cease: she'll be happy to hear she has reappeared in the play
Ken: go for it, send royalty checks to me in unmarked bills in a brown paper bag......
doctec: i just finished working her lines into the assembly
cease: good to hear
Bubba's Brain: So... everbody got their duct tape and plastic sheeting?
General Buck Turgidson: Wonder what my regulars are gonna think about being confronted by "Guernica" when they hit my page
doctec: and got bb's "tibetan1" lines (act 1, the ones i'm pretty sure i didn't get from PS) in place
Ken: she-it, bub! not gonna do it, wouldn't be prudent at this juncture
cease: have you any idea on what of jer's chinese music to use in that radio beijing sequence, and or the chairmen stuff?
Grumpy Riant: Can we climb under our desks and look away??
cease: i forwarded you the email i got from ps about retaping lines, eh?
Merlyn: I'll send lines this saturday, we did them last saturday but the CD I made I can't read
General Buck Turgidson: I have the war room which is sealed for freshness myself
doctec: BB: all i could scrounge was some crazy glue and a few paper bags
doctec: Buck: well if they appreciate Art...
Uncle Ernie: For more about Duct Tape see my editorial after midnight. I think Red Green is behind it all!
Ken: standard sized room contains enough air for one person for four hours. after that, you better be able to hold your breath a LONG time
General Buck Turgidson: Wonder if Duct tape foils Radiation from indian point?
cease: or even half a flaffer
doctec: Cat: yes ... and he emailed me today with more info too
Bubba's Brain: I'm going to make myself the portable version.... wrap a plastic bag around my head and duct tape it at the neck.....
doctec: red greenback ad the blue boys?
cease: great
doctec: BB: efficient!
General Buck Turgidson: That's inexpensive
Ken: bub: did you join the heaven's gate recently?
doctec: DON'T EAT THE PUDDING!
General Buck Turgidson: I could make a fortune selling oxygen....
cease: knock knock knockin on heaven's GAT
Bubba's Brain: Well, it'd get rid of this head cold.
Uncle Ernie: No Red Green on CBC/PBS although I wonder Doc is that album available on CD yet?
General Buck Turgidson: Is giod armed?
Ken: and leave you with a cold head.....
Bubba's Brain: The comets comin! the comet's comin!
doctec: Buck: yes, he has two
General Buck Turgidson: Vishbnu has six arms?
doctec: complete with fingers and opposable thumbs
Ken: i never saw a comet come, but once in a movie i saw a pony......
doctec: Nothing - Vishnu with you?
General Buck Turgidson: Thast was a mess I'd wager
doctec: after a comet comes, does it want a cigarette afterward?
cease: jsut listened to EYK for the first time in a while this week. amazing. must get the CD
Bubba's Brain: Vishnu were here.....
General Buck Turgidson: In Bangladesh we have two kinds of workers Blue Cholera and White Cholera
Merlyn: vishnu and vishimproved
Ken: i had to call customer service for my phone a couple weeks ago, got the calcutta office complete with accent
cease: bugs in the water
cease: something something something, carbon recycling
doctec: wish? new?
Grumpy Riant: blinded by a vishnuary
General Buck Turgidson: Black Hole Division, then?
cease: i vish
Ken: it's all pink on the inside :)
doctec: Yeah, honney!!!!
doctec: What she said!
Grumpy Riant: and the terrrible news drought continues...
cease: i think the news flood is about to commence
Ken: just add nuts and whisk gently
General Buck Turgidson: The nuts are in the Govt
Bubba's Brain: I'm gonna cut out early, and sit aroudn and blow my nose and get rid of this head cold.....
Bubba's Brain: Ta Ta ya'll
Ken: good luck, bub
General Buck Turgidson: io
||||||||| Bubba's Brain rushes off, saying "9:49 PM? Mark Time is almost on! Where's a radio?"
cease: down with colds, up with heads
Merlyn: bye bb
General Buck Turgidson: Yippie Tie one on
cease: by bb
Ken: is io erupting again?
General Buck Turgidson: A moon with zits
doctec: io has no manners
cease: i owe? i owe? it's off to work i go
Ken: poor elayne has almost faded into nothingness
Uncle Ernie: No ken that was the fox sueeze him right there and he'll ...
cease: must be involved elsewhere
doctec: io has no manners
General Buck Turgidson: You'll have a mess to clean
Grumpy Riant: Plastic sheeting, tape and Scorpion Survival and Swiss Army yoyos....(Bush and Cheney)
doctec: it should know better and excuse itself from the solar system
Elayne: Oops sorry, Ken, listening to Peter Sellers.
Elayne: Just finished the burning-the-bobbie bit.
doctec: balham
General Buck Turgidson: Why is it those who never served are so keen for a war?
Uncle Ernie: What Grumpy no eyeball hat?
Ken: no problem, e, do what feels good :)
cease: knew you hadn't sellersed out, el
doctec: goodness gracious me
Ken: buck: a metaphysical question with no good answer
doctec: and i guess robin hasn't petered out, either (nudge nudge)
Ken: and an awol pilot shall lead them
Grumpy Riant: Aftermath, the hats for a proper surrendr
Uncle Ernie: AWOL my ass he deserted!
cease: new firesign bit on npr tomorrow
Ken: hey, ernie, did you see the new dr. seuss poem for your site?
Grumpy Riant: in the desert...
General Buck Turgidson: I say we have a tag-teeam rassling match
cease: the firesign on love as the us goes to war at the same time!
Ken: thanks for heads-up, cat
cease: who says life aint interesting?
Uncle Ernie: No lay it on me Ken!
doctec: i thought the valentine's day bit had been cancelled
Grumpy Riant: On the 17th... president's day...NPR
Ken: private message me, ernie, with your email, i'll send to you
cease: merl would know. was something he posted to alt.ft at some point
cease: oh really? i didnt know that
Grumpy Riant: Check Mindless pav
General Buck Turgidson: Y
Merlyn: yeah, prez, st. pats, and april fools coming up
General Buck Turgidson: it's there
cease: bummer
cease: this is happening far too often
General Buck Turgidson: The Pretend Prez is a fool all year long
Grumpy Riant: Papoon is the only true prez... of the surrealists
cease: the surrealists would not have a president
Merlyn: papoon is a good bet for president's day
General Buck Turgidson: I'd vote for Pappoon, if I bothered to vote
Grumpy Riant: which universe??
Uncle Ernie: Oops
cease: we get to vote for whether vancouver gets the olympics or not next week
Ken: on the way, ernie, hope you like it
Grumpy Riant: run right down and vote, cease... in record time!
Uncle Ernie: Like Jim Hightower said If the gods had meant us to vote they would have given us a candidate!
doctec: the last universe of this vintage ... everything ...
Uncle Ernie: In Austrailia if you are are qualifies you must vote but there they have the option of "None of the above"!
General Buck Turgidson: well I'm off to bomb something
Ken: yippee, general!
General Buck Turgidson: later days
Merlyn: keep off the anthrax, gen
Elayne: You know, it would have been nice of Robin to warn me about some of these Sellers bits.
Grumpy Riant: bomb the first act, that always works..
Uncle Ernie: Semper Fi Chuck! Keep'em flying!
Elayne: This is the first time I've ever heard "Auntie Rotter."
Ken: btw, dexter emailed me, he's out of town tonight, will return next time
doctec: hope you stay snug as a bug in the war room
Elayne: Bye Buck! Buy bonds!
Grumpy Riant: September Febuary in March, general
Uncle Ernie: Yeah it's that time again. Mr. Birdseed go to press!
doctec: Buy bonds with buck!
||||||||| Catherwood enters the room, strikes a gong, and bellows "THE TIME IN NEW YORK IS 10 O'CLOCK", then silently exits.
cease: by buck
Uncle Ernie: http://issuesandalibis.org Issues & Alibis after 11p.m.
doctec: I just uploaded new Red Shift tweaks - no major changes, just a few subtle ones
Ken: ernie: i try to read it every week. enjoy the hell out of it too
cease: good to hear
Uncle Ernie: Peace Y'all!
cease: i've been feasting on basa in the tv room
||||||||| "10:02 PM? I'm late!" exclaims Uncle Ernie, who then runs out through the French doors and down through the garden.
Ken: g'nite, ern
doctec: lili should be here very soon, we're having another late dinner at tucker's (a cheers-ish place in fairfield, great food and they serve late)
cease: always a good idea, ern
doctec: nite ernie
cease: good to hear of the food plan, doc
doctec: five year food plan
Ken: for those keeping score, it's 4 yrs to the day that my wife left me for her internet romance, and i forgot to buy a bottle of bubbly!
cease: bubble on, ken
Grumpy Riant: O's and X's traded for ones and zeros.. sounds fair
Ken: if i had a waterpipe and some smoking material, i'd do some bubbling.....
doctec: we'll raise a glass in your honor at tucker's tonight
cease: some one worth waiting for is just around the corner, ken
Ken: raise it well, doc, so when it grows up it will respect you
cease: and that's no pipe dream
cease: if pipe's had dreams
doctec: we will raise no wine - before its time
Ken: don't know about around the corner, cat, but there's a nice looking high school chick down the street.......
doctec: cat, are you familiar with a group from the '80s, called "japan"?
cease: just got Plowing the Dark out of the library. Before I even got in the car, I read the following sentece:
cease: yep
doctec: there was a song on their last album "visions of china" - working on red shift, i was reminded of the tune
doctec: the song was called "visions of china" that is - not the album - the album was called "tin drum"
cease: on p. 243:
||||||||| It's 10:10 PM, and that means it's time to play BEAT THE REAPER! And here's how our contestants did:
||||||||| General Buck Turgidson - dead from dengue fever
||||||||| Better luck next time! And now, back to our chatroom, which is already in progress...
doctec: i may make an mp3 of it for you to grab
||||||||| A time machine materializes at 10:10 PM and nurse judy steps out, carrying a grape from ancient Greece.
cease: Later you discovered ,in Gwen's refrigerator, a fesh pot pipe carved out of a golden delicious apple, lined with a little tinfoil
Ken: hi, nurse judy
nurse judy: lugging the jugs
Ken: wow, cat, that's an option i never considered
cease: high norse
Merlyn: hello
doctec: the chorus of the song: "we walk backwards - say nothing - we're building our visions of china... we're young and strong as despotic - living our visions of china"
cease: any of you read any richard powers? looks good
doctec: oops - "young and strong AND despotic"
nurse judy: dispsomatic
Ken: dippity do
doctec: diagrammatic
nurse judy: lipspamatic
Ken: if you perform fellation on a "fat" one is that liposuction?
nurse judy: the lips are sealed
cease: LIzst? Am attic
cease: tiz the nature of the young and strong, doc
nurse judy: the top ten in the attic
Ken: i've never been in my attic. there might be bats in my belfry and i don't want to know
cease: A tick quit tea
nurse judy: tazi s more like it
cease: bat masters sons? batten them hatches
nurse judy: Taz driving a taxi?
cease: the alternative zone?
nurse judy: no fare to anybody
cease: turning taxis accross the sea
Ken: warner brothers universe, where animals talk and gravity doesn't always work
nurse judy: that's daffy!
cease: never look a gift hour in the stomache
Ken: it's wascally too
nurse judy: Don't bugs me man
cease: as a child, i attended church with mel blanc.
cease: could never figure out who was jesus and whoi was bugs bunny
Ken: cat: they are the same. one being with multiple personalities
||||||||| It's 10:20 PM, and that means it's time to play BEAT THE REAPER! And here's how our contestants did:
||||||||| Elayne - dead from the yaws
||||||||| Better luck next time! And now, back to our chatroom, which is already in progress...
doctec: eeeeeeh - what's dis cross for, doc?
cease: by el
Ken: bugs bunny died for your sins, and elmer fudd keeps trying to shoot jesus
doctec: elmer: to cwoocify you, you wascawwy wabbit!
nurse judy: tone with the carrot
cease: its odd to have that voice nest to you singing hymns and then on tv in only a variant of it as bugs, et al
cease: i imagine being married to proctor would be like that
nurse judy: sounds like heaven to me
cease: all of the guys have their variant voices, but proc is more voice than person
Ken: i can't imagine being married to proctor. he's not my type
nurse judy: but he's a font of fun
Merlyn: proctor was up for the new voice of yosemite sam
cease: really?
nurse judy: did he get it down?
doctec: you'll have to ask melinda, i guess
Ken: i could see him more as foghorn leghorn for some reason
cease: according to his atc interview a decade ago, he was completely into this voice career, the firesign but a sideshow
nurse judy: or speedy
Ken: andale, andale!
cease: undelay life!
nurse judy: cokie's on ABC
Ken: and abc's on coke?
Merlyn: it's just hard to make a living as 25% of firesign
nurse judy: that's Sam's hill
nurse judy: or 125% of 4 or 5
cease: even 100%, merl
Ken: frontline on pbs right now has 2 hr special on china, just had a band that sounded like the beijing version of the grateful dead
nurse judy: So when is the new CD coming out?
cease: speaking of sam, just heard from him today. fresh from an operation. hopefully recuperating
doctec: ok, lili marlene is here, standing by the lamp post, waiting for godot...
cease: i'll watch it, ken
Ken: hey, lili, you saxy thang
doctec: (which, i am guessing by the look on her face, must be me)
nurse judy: go go man van go
cease: get an hbo show premiering tonight called Curb your enthusiasm
doctec: so we're taking off for a late nosh - lili says hi to ken & all
||||||||| Gusts of wind blow in from outside and the thumpa-thumpa-thumpa of helicopter blades is heard as Happy Panditt's chopper lands on the lawn and Dave disembarks at 10:27 PM.
cease: 'm looking forward to seeing. on in half an hour i think
doctec: yakkety sax
Ken: dave has dropped in
nurse judy: and your dlittle dog too
cease: by and by lilii and doc
Dave: OK! I'M HERE, you can all breathe a sigh of relief now!
Dave: just kidding folks
nurse judy: whewwwwwwwwww
doctec: cat: i'll be interested to hear what you think of curb, ... it's already been through two seasons here in the states
Ken: i forgot i wasn't supposed to breathe before you arrived. sorry
cease: will tell ya, doc
doctec: hey dave - sorry but i can't hang out any longer, my girlfriend is here and we're heading out for a light & late nosh
Dave: know, the black dog is not in here, thank god right now
cease: eat well, doc
doctec: so, uh, nytol (& all that)
doctec: zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz..... (thanks cat)
Ken: sominex to you too
nurse judy: I think I stepped in something
||||||||| doctec departs at 10:29 PM, singing "Toad away, toad away; toad away, toad away! Where do you go when you're toad away?"
Merlyn waves
Ken: watch your step, judy, but don't step on your watch
nurse judy: i melted my watch while watching time fry..... sorry
Ken: that's your problem. you don't fry, you braise thyme
nurse judy: braise or bruise
Ken: black and blue thyme: the horrors of spice abuse. film at 11
cease: thyme out of joy
nurse judy: george Foreman's Briuiser Brasier
nurse judy: tyme of the seasoning
Ken: ten million battered women in the country and i've only eaten them raw
nurse judy: Mark Thyme Bruise Celantro
Ken: how do you mark yours? i use a fine point felt pen
nurse judy: fast and bulbous
nurse judy: buboos saggin?
Ken: well, dear friends, i've convinced myself that i should go buy a bottle of wine, so i'm off for this week. ta ta for now
nurse judy: lucky you
Merlyn: buy ken
||||||||| "10:37 PM? I'm late!" exclaims Ken, who then runs out through the French doors and down through the garden.
Merlyn: I slay me
Grumpy Riant: take care ken
||||||||| Catherwood trudges in at 10:37 PM, dragging WCGuy by one foot and asks "Can anyone vouch for this bozo?"
||||||||| Catherwood trudges in at 10:38 PM, dragging Bunnyboy by one foot and asks "Can anyone vouch for this bozo?"
Bunnyboy: lo dere
Dave: BTW, David Gray will be playing Leno on Friday night, if anyone wants to watch a really great musical performance, I highly, highly recommend it
Grumpy Riant: Hey bun and WC
WCGuy: Quiet group
nurse judy: Water Closet Guy?
Bunnyboy: Powdered Toast Man!
WCGuy: Merl...defend me!
nurse judy: Whos Leno playing?
||||||||| "10:39 PM? 10:39 PM!!" says Catherwood, "Cpt. Equinox (ret.) should be here by now...oh, THERE you are!" as Cpt. Equinox (ret.) enters and sits on the couch.
Merlyn: hey Equinox
Grumpy Riant: Hi nox
Dave: odd name CP but, uh, ok
Cpt. Equinox (ret.): Yep, thar ah is...
Bunnyboy: I picked up a *ehrm* booterleg DVD of Ren and Stimpy at the local ComicCon.
nurse judy: digital furballs?
Bunnyboy: Features MAN'S BEST FRIEND, perhaps one of the most frenetically violent cartoons ever.
Cpt. Equinox (ret.): just bits of dust
Merlyn: Yeah, I saw bits of it, BB
Dave: not a fan of R & S, sorry
Bunnyboy: Never aired on Nickelodeon. Actually rumored to have been the last straw in the tenuous relationship between John Kricfalusi (the show's creator) and NickyNetwork.
nurse judy: is Austin going to make another non-appearance tonight?
WCGuy: Anyone want some FST news (well, you may know it already)?
Dave: not yet
Cpt. Equinox (ret.): Any news? Fst?
Dave: he won't be here shortly, nor longly
cease: hi bunny, ret,dave etc
Dave: nor somewhereinthenearfuturely
cease: i'm eating. back soon
Bunnyboy: George Liquor is a FABULOUS character. John K. controls that American outright.
Dave: which is rapidly approaching, WATCH OUT!
Bunnyboy: WC: Yes, do tell.
Bunnyboy: lo cat
nurse judy: News news news
Bunnyboy: Everything old is new again.
Bunnyboy: DUCT! and COVER!
WCGuy: 1) Next NPR appearance is Monday - PREZ day.
Merlyn: except my cat
WCGuy: 2) Then St. Pat's Day.
Dave: oooooh, maybe they'll actually play it in Denver
Cpt. Equinox (ret.): That I knew, only because I'm a psychic friend.
nurse judy: yes yes
WCGuy: 3) Then...April 1...and therein lies the news I cannot tell.
Bunnyboy: April Fool's? Yer kidding!
nurse judy: what again?
Grumpy Riant: All Things Considered that sound great!
nurse judy: come out of the water closet and confess!
WCGuy: Oh...and you know about the new CD?
Bunnyboy: Artemis Records, yes?
Dave: he's coming outa the closet?
Grumpy Riant: On artimis
nurse judy: yes yes
Grumpy Riant: Any XM , also??
nurse judy: I'm lagging my breath
WCGuy: Release date: March 11....and a special edition for NPR pledgers (with 15 minutes of extra stuff)
WCGuy: (I fear XM is dead, from what I hear)
Merlyn: "extra stuff" probably including pass the indian, please
Merlyn: yes, long dead
nurse judy: that's 7 mins.
Merlyn: (I was at all the XM shows)
Grumpy Riant: XM material on CD??
Merlyn: maybe they play it twice
WCGuy: Yes, "Pass The Indians" is on the CD, but there is another 15 minutes.
nurse judy: that's 24 hours
nurse judy: yes yes
Merlyn: XM material may come out on CD (and/or DVD), don't know yet
Bunnyboy: Just checked out www.artemisrecords.com - Interesting!
Merlyn: yeah, I looked them up after planet proctor mentioned it
WCGuy: Interesting company, Artemis..and they are behind FST much more than Rhino ever was.
Bunnyboy: Danny Goldberg, the CEO, is Mercury's former CEO. Give Me A Break connection?
nurse judy: what happened to Firesign Records?
nurse judy: Eat or Be Eaten on Mercury
cease: oh fires that sign, look out for thee
Bunnyboy: nurse: Why, yes. Forgot about that.
Merlyn: why you say so, WCguy?
nurse judy: confess
Bunnyboy: cat: Do you know if Doc got my most recent WAV uploads?
Merlyn: Austin thinks laugh.com is kind of draggin its feet on more rereleases of old albums, so maybe artemis will do it
WCGuy: say what. Merlyn?
cease: no i dont but i suspect so, bunny
nurse judy: lack of sales?
Merlyn: I know he wants roller maidens out (and so do others)
cease: he's off with lili for dinner, as i understand
Merlyn: wcguy, what makes you say artemis is behind firesign moreso than rhino?
nurse judy: confess
Merlyn: (than rhino was, that is)
Grumpy Riant: rhino was too horney??
nurse judy: WC fields our questions
WCGuy: I always thought Rhino was just "putting 'em out" and seeing what happenned. Artemis, from what I can tell, is ready to go to the wall for the new CD.
Merlyn: yes, wcguy, but what can you tell? What are they doing?
WCGuy: To their credit, Rhino did make "Weirdly Cool" happen.
Bunnyboy: Hey, Russell Crowe's on Artemis. Maybe if the boys pick a fight, they can get some press!
nurse judy: Whops cpunting Crowes?
cease: didnt they fund their last 3 albums? that counts for Something
nurse judy: o o
WCGuy: There will be a press event around the release of the new CD...still in the works. And there is a major NPR fundraising push around the new CD as well.
nurse judy: Just had pledge week here
Merlyn: ah, ok. Rhino seemed to cool to firesign after some high up people changed; similar story with XM
WCGuy: The current Rhino is far from the old Rhino. No one is left from the old regime.
cease: good to hear, wc
Merlyn: that's what I heard, wc
Bunnyboy: I gotta feed the ends that eats. Nice chat, yez.
cease: i mean about the new firecd
Bunnyboy: Thanks for the update, WC.
cease: by bun. i'll thank doc for you in advance
Merlyn: bye bb
WCGuy: There are some real champions for FST at NPR....and some folks at Artemis who are on fire as well.
Grumpy Riant: Nibble-on bun
WCGuy: Bun.......anytime
cease: that's what we need to hear
nurse judy: how do you know all this?
cease: as opposed to kneed to ear
Merlyn: that seems to be the story of Firesign's business life; Columbia had that one exec that really championed them, etc
Bunnyboy: (sings) Knee bones connected to the ear bone, now hear the pop of the drum.
Grumpy Riant: Celebrate with Artemis and throw Rice
cease: one toker over the line, as it were
cease: how far can i do that? i bet he weights more than me
Merlyn: if they lose the few real fireheads at some company, Firesign doesn't last long after that, and they only have a few real supporters
WCGuy: <---not the throwing kind
cease: oddly true, merl
||||||||| Catherwood enters the room, strikes a gong, and bellows "THE TIME IN NEW YORK IS 11 O'CLOCK", then silently exits.
nurse judy: wish they'd do their own funding
Merlyn: so it sounds good that NPR and artemis have advocates for them
||||||||| Around 11:01 PM, Bunnyboy walks off into the sunset...
cease: how would they do that?
cease: a firesign pledge week
cease: ll money collected goes to them
WCGuy: But wait....we have found champions -- mostly by accident -- in recent times. Do you know why "Weirdly Cool" was taped at CBS Hollywood?
cease: the columbia broadcasting system, records, etc
nurse judy: it's the one with the hole in the middle?
Merlyn: was that due to a radio guy?
cease: i read that in the toilet
Grumpy Riant: but everybody knew them as Sony
nurse judy: Wyii don't know
Merlyn: climb upon my knee, sony boy
nurse judy: he's crawling up my leg
cease: boney soy?
Grumpy Riant: yo soy...
WCGuy: Wierdly Cool was shot on the same stage as "The Price is Right", "The Carol Burnett Show" and the old "Jack Benny" shows.
cease: you were there, werent you, merl
nurse judy: yes yes
Merlyn: yeah, proctor found something with "jack benny show" written on it
Merlyn: yes, I was at the taping
cease: wow
Merlyn: tapings (two performances)
||||||||| Catherwood says "11:05 PM, time for SOMEONE to leave!", grabs Dave by the collar and gives 'em the old bum's rush out the door
WCGuy: Long day...but worth it
Grumpy Riant: Later, Dave..
||||||||| Dave sneaks in around 11:06 PM, trying to avoid Catherwood because of last week's "unpleasant incident."
cease: dave
Dave: oops, clicked on the wrong thing
cease: w.cool looked lovingly crafted
Grumpy Riant: It's that chrominum one, Dave..
Merlyn: at least your exit/enter messages go well together (though "last week" should be a couple seconds ago)
cease: just odd to see audio material given vision
||||||||| Catherwood announces "It's 11:07 PM; let's see who falls in through our celebrity trap door!" -- he pulls a lever, and Phil Austin plummets onto the oriental shag rug.
WCGuy: Time is transient in this world
Grumpy Riant: Hey Bopster
nurse judy: Tried too much to make it liik legit
Merlyn: the philster!
nurse judy: My god an real non non-appearance
Grumpy Riant: How are things on Mystery??
Phil Austin: Hi everyone. It's a miracle, I'm near a computer and people are chatting. Hey, Brian. You might want to look at the stats for tonight. all four of us just did the local PBS news show called Life and Times and they displayed a graphic of the website.
WCGuy: I demure to the master.
Phil Austin: I won't be back for a little while, but I will check in in a while.
Merlyn: yeeha, phil!
nurse judy: the master baited me to stay
nurse judy: now he leaves?
cease: phil
cease: first time ever
Merlyn: hey cat, here's the picture of Proctor with the Jack Benny prop: http://www.firesigntheatre.com/proctor/weirdly/jackbennyprop.jpg
Merlyn: ok phil
nurse judy: short but not very sweet
Dave: HEY PHIL!
WCGuy: Sweet enough.
nurse judy: what a guy
cease: your fans cascade
nurse judy: short enough to be a non non appearance
Dave: well yeah
Dave runs up to Phil and hits him in the ankle with his cane, just lightly, why? just for the swordfish of it
Merlyn: he said "i'll be back" or "I shall return" or something cliche'd like that
WCGuy: Shall we fill (Phil) in some blanks, Brian?
nurse judy: Phil's not here
Dave: and nor is Dave
nurse judy: He mac\arthured us
Merlyn: how so, wcguy?
nurse judy: who is this guy?
WCGuy: (Cover for the guy -- like vamp)
Cpt. Equinox (ret.): This guy's in love with you
Merlyn: "I shall be beck" - Auhnold McSchwartzenarther
||||||||| Gusts of wind blow in from outside and the thumpa-thumpa-thumpa of helicopter blades is heard as Happy Panditt's chopper lands on the lawn and M.T. Austin disembarks at 11:14 PM.
nurse judy: We cover Guy?
WCGuy: <---WC (Wierdy Cool) guy
Merlyn: john rice?
Merlyn: you in washington state?
nurse judy: the rice is nice
M.T. Austin: rice has its own john?
WCGuy: point for Brian
Dave: spanish rice? or spanish flies?
WCGuy: no, in PA.
Dave: eew!
nurse judy: points north
Merlyn: we got two austins? Are there no city limits?
M.T. Austin: 9
Grumpy Riant: HYY land??
nurse judy: stone cold facts
WCGuy: point for Grump.
Cpt. Equinox (ret.): That's because of his Austin powers...
Grumpy Riant: Actually three with Texas
Dave: stoned facts?
M.T. Austin: oss'd and found
Cpt. Equinox (ret.): Early form of the facsimile machine
nurse judy: Hollow Earth theory
Grumpy Riant: Rap on, Ice Berg the Man
WCGuy: Grump...you in HYY land?
Grumpy Riant: yes
nurse judy: My fill of Delphi
||||||||| Dexter Fong enters at 11:18 PM as Catherwood takes their hat and goat and runs off to the Haberdashery Barn.
nurse judy: Grossland
Dexter Fong: Evening Folks
Grumpy Riant: What's up Dex??
M.T. Austin: albert has a land?
Dave: well folks, gotta go to school tomorrow and must get sleep, see yall next week
M.T. Austin: and speaking of Red Shift characters....
M.T. Austin: by dave
Dexter Fong: I'm still up Grumpy ...and I'm not coming down
Grumpy Riant: take care, Dave
WCGuy: Do I know you, Grump?
Cpt. Equinox (ret.): Albert IS a land
Dexter Fong: M.T. = Cat?
Grumpy Riant: No
M.T. Austin: all bert and no ernie?
WCGuy: OK
Merlyn: bye dave
M.T. Austin: yeah, whenever i go to another website or somedthing i cease to be. sometimes i go back, sometimes think of a new nick
Cpt. Equinox (ret.): See if you can guess what I am now...
Dexter Fong: Any appearance tonight of KWD?
Grumpy Riant: Father does freq. measuring for HYY
nurse judy: Mount thunder austin?
M.T. Austin: as phil austin had been here, i figured empty austin oughta show too
M.T. Austin: or 3
WCGuy: "measuring"?
nurse judy: or non Austin
Dave: "honey now if I'm honest, I still don't know what love is" David Gray from "The Other Side"
M.T. Austin: havet seen the good clock in a while
Merlyn: may austin and anti-austin
Grumpy Riant: FCC measure for radio station
Cpt. Equinox (ret.): The Wizard of Austin...
M.T. Austin: moo ons and oink ons
Dexter Fong: Emailed Klok..haven't checked if he responded though
WCGuy: Got it, Grump
M.T. Austin: you're young, dave. you'll find out
Cpt. Equinox (ret.): Austin-tatious
Dexter Fong: Hey WC - John Rice, yes?
Grumpy Riant: Donate service of measuring as contrib to NPR
M.T. Austin: which means?
WCGuy: Fong, yes
nurse judy: or voice of Amerika
Dexter Fong: Did you receive that CD I sent so long ago?
nurse judy: national Pledgeweek Radio
M.T. Austin: i think we can consider this a valid portent of imminent war.
Merlyn: so, should I kill "cease"?
M.T. Austin: yes, off with him
M.T. Austin: or her, or it
Cpt. Equinox (ret.): And desist...
WCGuy: CD.....or tape. (Great Gift). Yes.
nurse judy: or punch the Klock
Grumpy Riant: cease him
Dexter Fong: Tape , yes...good =)
WCGuy: Did I thank you profusely.....cause I should have.
Grumpy Riant: no more
M.T. Austin: where is our rhode island red?
Dexter Fong: Actually WC...nope =)
nurse judy: squeeze him
M.T. Austin: with red hair
M.T. Austin: doobie do ah
WCGuy: Oh, then may I do so publicly?
Dexter Fong: By all means
nurse judy: free feel
Dexter Fong: Cash Credit check...etc...
Grumpy Riant: Dexter = 10's
Grumpy Riant: dollar bills
M.T. Austin: heavy on the 30-weight, mom
||||||||| Merlyn aka 'The Reaper' has killed off cease at 11:27 PM
Dexter Fong: Have we met Grumpy?
nurse judy: cease cease to be
Grumpy Riant: don't think so
M.T. Austin: duke duke duke duke of
nurse judy: prunes
Dexter Fong: Then "Hi! I'm Dexter Fong. My late partner, Hideo Wallbanger and I were the men of modern comedy"
Grumpy Riant: how about modem comedy??
M.T. Austin: most hideous wallbanger i ever experienced
WCGuy: Friends....see here my great and good friend, one Dexter Fong, who upon my request, sent me a cassettte of a long lost piece of history (and of my memory -equally long lost), A great and good person is this. And should you the opportunity to put a drink or a meal before said Dexter, I suggest, request, appeal you do so, as shall I.
Dexter Fong: I don't work baudy Grump
Dexter Fong: Well done WC =))
Merlyn: how could I see what you remember?
M.T. Austin: i will comply with your wishes, wc. look forward to meeting him. owe him at least a meal
nurse judy: who cares?
Dexter Fong: A last meal?
nurse judy: let's eat him
Grumpy Riant: I would remember , if I forgot...
||||||||| It's 11:30 PM, and that means it's time to play BEAT THE REAPER! And here's how our contestants did:
||||||||| Dave - dead from pneumonia
||||||||| Better luck next time! And now, back to our chatroom, which is already in progress...
Dexter Fong: Nurse! How delightful
WCGuy: Nooo....there are many meals to come.
nurse judy: dave's not here
Dexter Fong: ..and many ribbers to cross
M.T. Austin: doctory memory!
WCGuy: Time for this WC to fade away. But a few reminders...
Cpt. Equinox (ret.): Or rubbers to Chris...
nurse judy: and crosses toe bear
Dexter Fong: Don't run in the trenches
WCGuy: 1) Monday - NPR
M.T. Austin: your wc is going to fade away? how inconvenient
WCGuy: 2) St. Pat's Day - NPR
nurse judy: he flushed
Grumpy Riant: Usually the last ten minutes of All things...
Cpt. Equinox (ret.): And your Austin is M.T. How sad.
WCGuy: 3) March 11 - ALL THINGS FIRESIGN -- at your local store
nurse judy: there is no fool....
M.T. Austin: el mouse without the louse
WCGuy: 4) Pledge to your NPR station....Pledge often
Cpt. Equinox (ret.): Like a knoll fool.
Dexter Fong: My Bangladeshi Bodega is selling FST material?
Merlyn: any name for the march 11 CD?
Merlyn: or is it ALL THINGS FIRESIGN
nurse judy: Considered Firesign All
WCGuy: The new CD is called "ALL THINGS FIRESIGN"
Dexter Fong: ALL THINGS FIRESIGN = ATF
Merlyn: and that's the first NPR collection, right?
M.T. Austin: clever
nurse judy: Consider What You Want Too
Merlyn: I'll update the web site
WCGuy: Right, Brian.
M.T. Austin: lol nurse
Dexter Fong: First commercially released NPR collection Merl =)
nurse judy: what about all music considered?
Cpt. Equinox (ret.): Molto coolissimo...
Phil Austin: I'm back. Sorry to be so late for those of you in the Great East
nurse judy: eas is west on the web
WCGuy: 5) Everyone has agreed to buy to Dexter a drink or a meal. (This is legally binding)
Cpt. Equinox (ret.): Hey, it's da man!
Dexter Fong: Hi there Phil
Phil Austin: Hi, everyone
Dexter Fong: Legal binding? B&D by the book
nurse judy: greetings gate
Dexter Fong: solid Jackson
Merlyn: WCGuy is john rice, by the way
nurse judy: lay it on us oh wise one
nurse judy: he's steemed
Dexter Fong: Stop pressing him
nurse judy: hip us to your jive
Phil Austin: Mister rice knows more than I
M.T. Austin: phil
Dexter Fong: First you put your right foot out....
WCGuy: Can we sing now: P-H-I. (I have no clue). L-A-U. (You look familiar). S-T-I-N.
nurse judy: tso does uncle ben
M.T. Austin: how was the pbs gig?
Cpt. Equinox (ret.): When did Uncle Ben convert?
Phil Austin: MT: It was good. They devoted over six minutes to us. That's more than anyone's ever ...
Dexter Fong: When he married Aunt Jamima
M.T. Austin: wow
nurse judy: phebus in in blue jeans
Phil Austin: been gone before
Merlyn: We've got some traffic from it, but the national NPR bits do a lot more
M.T. Austin: you pleased with it?
Dexter Fong: been gone so long it look like back to me
nurse judy: that longer than the sponser losts
Cpt. Equinox (ret.): Monotonous in a pony tail
nurse judy: pleased as punch?
Dexter Fong: ...and the Gemini twins in matching B&D outfits
M.T. Austin: punch em, judy
Phil Austin: MT: Yes. Hosts wanted to have a good time.
Cpt. Equinox (ret.): Or Judy...
M.T. Austin: always a good sign
M.T. Austin: fire, water, air
Dexter Fong: Give em the length of your tongue Nurse
Cpt. Equinox (ret.): All right!
Dexter Fong: Okay...Now all left!
nurse judy: it's a neter beater
M.T. Austin: you aint got no friends on your right
M.T. Austin: i'z white
nurse judy: hosts of insects
Dexter Fong: If you sit in the corner, you ain't got no friends either side of you
nurse judy: the rice is white
Cpt. Equinox (ret.): tree frog
M.T. Austin: white as terror
nurse judy: where's the Phil deal?
WCGuy: Shall we tell everyone to listen to NPR on April 1, Mr. Austin?
Dexter Fong: You just did JR
Grumpy Riant: White I need is to be black in ole virginnie
nurse judy: you'd be a fool not to
M.T. Austin: we will attempt to immitate everyone
Cpt. Equinox (ret.): A foole's errand...
nurse judy: I'll be me
Dexter Fong: and an errant foole be he
M.T. Austin: a knot end fool is a not end fool
Cpt. Equinox (ret.): ... and Sis'll be DeMille...
Merlyn: Phil, do you know if the PBS segment will be repeated?
nurse judy: we're fools for Phil
Phil Austin: WC: I think it's safe we're going to do an April Fool's piece. There's talk of announcing that Nick Danger is running for President as a Democrat on the slogan "I hate rich people. And crickets. And owls." (Ron Zeigler said it was too wrong, but he's de
Dexter Fong: Uh oh Red alert...get out your duct tape
Phil Austin: ad now.
nurse judy: vote for the door nail
Merlyn: cue the crickets
nurse judy: you guys are all red now
Merlyn: or wcguy, you know if that PBS bit will repeat?
Dexter Fong: Here..take this shotgun..just in case
WCGuy: I like the slogan: "There is no Danger here...oh, wait, there is!"
Cpt. Equinox (ret.): It'll be a Hoot...
Grumpy Riant: possible weekend repeat??
nurse judy: yeah yeah yeah
Merlyn: hmm, nurse...
Phil Austin: Merlyn: I don't know if it's repeated. Not sure. If I find out, I'll let you know.
nurse judy: in the black again
Dexter Fong: Speaking of Ron Ziegler, another old Nixon hand bit it today
Merlyn: ok, thanks
Cpt. Equinox (ret.): Was it the one that fed him?
WCGuy: The PBS show will repeat as each station decides that it wants to. We have no control over that. But you do......write, call or email your local station and ask 'em to.
nurse judy: hammie hixon the old jug player?
Merlyn: gak, I probably messed up everybody's screens. My font got bigger
Dexter Fong: They all eventually die...just too slowly for my taste
Grumpy Riant: Nixon's sock puppet?
Cpt. Equinox (ret.): Or the hand of the Fed?
nurse judy: font is bigger here too
nurse judy: now smaller, strnage world
Grumpy Riant: viagra text...
Dexter Fong: "I am not a puppet. I 'm just not very animated...or likeable
Dexter Fong: "Add 2 to 4 inches to your font"
WCGuy: I am a puppet...and I hate this hand up my a..........
M.T. Austin: lose a digit? we pay big. call Sauron and Sauron, attorneys
nurse judy: eat TVs and grow thin
Phil Austin: I am not a puppet. I am a free man. (attributed to Angelo Muscat)
Cpt. Equinox (ret.): Everything you write will be swell...
nurse judy: but we know it's wrong
Dexter Fong: Whoa! Global font resizing...cool
Grumpy Riant: He's not a bad boy, father.
Cpt. Equinox (ret.): We want...information...
Merlyn: Yep, I put in some HTML to try and fix nurse judy's complaint of all red text...
Dexter Fong: You feel more manly when everybodies font is small
nurse judy: just a bad investment
Merlyn: muscat was the midget
Cpt. Equinox (ret.): That's all I ask 3 HTMLs a day...
Dexter Fong: ...and a warm place to sh....
Dexter Fong: shave?
nurse judy: Mime's smaller than yours
Cpt. Equinox (ret.): That's the process of elimination, Dez
M.T. Austin: PA, Fumiyo says it's good to hear from you at last
Dexter Fong: Seeing is believing Nurse J
nurse judy: that's the last we heard of him
Phil Austin: Ahhhh. Empty Austin is fulfilled with Fumiyo. Full Austin gets it.
nurse judy: or get full monty
M.T. Austin: good to hear. have other senses
Grumpy Riant: global messages get around but silly will get you medicated..
Cpt. Equinox (ret.): I never medicated I didn't like...
WCGuy: Kids (and Piil) twas fun...but here on the Eastern Coast, it is time to sail, time to tape up the windows with plastic and duct tape (we used to call it 'Gaffer's tape') and head off and worry that the morning sky doesn't shine brighter than it should. But they are calling for snow.
Merlyn: hey phil, do you still have that email I sent that had dave the blind kid's address? Proctor wants a re-send, and dave says his dad doesn't want him to send his address out to strangers (he's 15)
nurse judy: just breezine along with the breeze
M.T. Austin: by wc
Merlyn: see you ricecakes
M.T. Austin: other fine letters
Phil Austin: Cat and fumiyo: Here's a vaguely Nipponish query: Have you either happened to read the Murakami story calle "The Ice Man" in the New Yorker recently?
Merlyn: press the exit button so you get a funny sendoff
||||||||| WCGuy leaves to catch the 11:55 PM train to Hellmouth.
nurse judy: how about send up?
Phil Austin: merlyn: I won't send him anything, his secret is safe.
M.T. Austin: no, we gave up our subscription when we changed addresses 2 years ago, phil, but i do read them in the library. will read this one
Grumpy Riant: later john
Dexter Fong: Night JR
Merlyn: no, no, it's OK to send him stuff
nurse judy: riced
Phil Austin: Very odd and interesting in his usual low-key way. Ice man, that is
Merlyn: I just don't have the original email to re-send to proctor, so if you could, it'd be OK
Cpt. Equinox (ret.): Bye, WC, it's been fun...
Phil Austin: Goood night John. Kiss the sheeps for me and the big blonde
M.T. Austin: i loved your ice man tale in the old detective collection\
nurse judy: brassy
Phil Austin: Merlhaggard: will do if I can find it
Merlyn: ok, thanks.
Dexter Fong: Brassy, Shirley?
Phil Austin: mt: Thanks. In an odd way, this story has some odd affinity. At least, they're both about love.
nurse judy: what isn't
Merlyn: speaking of which, why no st. valentine's bit? too close to prez day?
Dexter Fong: What isn't Shirley?
M.T. Austin: i had the sensation that most firesign material was not about love, in the early years
Phil Austin: Nurse Judy has wisdom beyond her name
Cpt. Equinox (ret.): Phil, Sam here. Have you and your big blonde gotten out to the desert?
M.T. Austin: this is something elayne pointed out to me, but she was here long ago tongiht
nurse judy: don't call me shirley
Phil Austin: St. Valentine. The Lupercalia. I know. We missed it.
Phil Austin: equinox: We are a couple of weeks away from our first trip.
Merlyn: maybe next year
nurse judy: and groundhog day phil
Cpt. Equinox (ret.): Lupercali-fragilistic-expialidocious?
||||||||| Catherwood walks in wearing his pyjamas, yawns, and mumbles "It's midnight here in New York city"...then he falls over and starts snoring loudly..
Merlyn: go for st. gwynwen, the welsh st. valenine
Dexter Fong: Hm...groundhog is named Punxatawny Phil...could it be?
Phil Austin: I'm a minute and a half slow - or is it fast?
nurse judy: and he goes down a hole
Merlyn: catherwood has been up to 20 minutes off
Phil Austin: Dex: the instant spelling of punxatawny is impressive
Merlyn: he gains about a minute a week
Cpt. Equinox (ret.): I had a very dark Xmas, and grabbed mein bride, and went and soaked up desert light. I recommend it to all.
Dexter Fong: It's catherwood...he's been at the Peruvian Coco powder
Dexter Fong: PA: It's an east coast kinda thing
nurse judy: and a shadow falls across the land
M.T. Austin: one of the best firesign things i've ever heard
Dexter Fong: "Get up Lamont, you drunken hasbeen"
Phil Austin: dex: I know. In the East, spelling is a finer art than we know out here in Puyallup
Cpt. Equinox (ret.): If you can see your shadow at 2am, you're in for six weeks of fallout...
Dexter Fong: Nope PHIL, it's just that P> Phil is in Penn so we get more coverage
nurse judy: he's in our spellcheck
Merlyn: we were wildly speculating earlier; is laugh.com or artemis going to rerelease roller maidens?
nurse judy: what happened to Firesign Records?
Phil Austin: If you can see bill murrays shadow and it's singing "I'm alllll right, don't you worry 'bout me ..."
Grumpy Riant: How about Dave's Time Flies??
Dexter Fong: Time flies in a martian klein bottle
M.T. Austin: liike a turkey through the chives
nurse judy: we traded our groundhogs for rats
Cpt. Equinox (ret.): fruit flies like a banana
Dexter Fong: Good move NJ, they don't hibernate...more action
M.T. Austin: wa? qui
Merlyn: homer simpson is doing the top ten list on letterman
Dexter Fong: =) That's great
Dexter Fong: Man, 15 years and they still cooking
nurse judy: we're on nobody's top ten list
Merlyn: phil is typing a huge answer or something
Phil Austin: Laff.com doesn't do much of anything. We haven't talked to Artemis about rerelease. Firesign Records is currently being ripped off by a guy named Jim Benz at Whirlwind Media who is witholding the considerable profits on the first three releases, thereby p
Phil Austin: utting poor Lodestone nearly in the dumper. We'll have more releases some day
nurse judy: schid
Dexter Fong: PA: That is *so* depressing to here....
Dexter Fong: hear
Merlyn: and there, too
Dexter Fong: Yeah Merl: It's everywhere
nurse judy: so's my hair
Dexter Fong: It's America
Phil Austin: Sorry to be so fragmented. Got to go to bed, we've got a horribly early call in downtown LA tomorrow. I'll try to check in next week. Nite everyone.
Merlyn: I hope the benz bozo situation is fixed; didn't know that affected lodestone too
M.T. Austin: This is devastating.
Dexter Fong: Night PA
Merlyn: goodnight
M.T. Austin: nite phil
Grumpy Riant: Take care, Phil and Oona
nurse judy: what a note of triumph to leave us on!
Cpt. Equinox (ret.): Good night everyone. Tomorrow is another day~
Dexter Fong: lol (sadly) NJ
M.T. Austin: they will always triumph, nurse
Grumpy Riant: enjoyed Flannigan on blog, phil
Merlyn: we'll have to roll a couple of bombers to get back to normal
Phil Austin: Merl : Yeah, Richard went into debt to be the manufacturer of the records. We're partners.
Merlyn: hope it's settled in your guys favor soon, of course...
Phil Austin: and sleep surround you all like a warm towel in a cold bathroom
nurse judy: to be stoned with
||||||||| Phil Austin says "Catherwood, call me a cab." After the obvious joke, Phil Austin exits at 12:10 AM.
M.T. Austin: best of nights, phil
Dexter Fong: Grumpy: Are you the Sam who's wedding Cat attended?
nurse judy: he's off now
Cpt. Equinox (ret.): Funny you should ask...
Grumpy Riant: No
nurse judy: faith and longora
M.T. Austin: me? more gliding than off
Cpt. Equinox (ret.): I'm always off.
Cpt. Equinox (ret.): That explains most of me comments...
Merlyn: is anyone here longoria?
Merlyn: who am us, anyway?
M.T. Austin: or short in rio?
Cpt. Equinox (ret.): I am.
Grumpy Riant: or the short of it
nurse judy: time of that 12o'clock high!
Dexter Fong: No tickee, no longeria
Merlyn: really, CE?
Grumpy Riant: That western never materialized??
Cpt. Equinox (ret.): Yep. It's still materializing...
Dexter Fong: Ah...I guess I misattributed the Sam mention to the wrong person
nurse judy: how surreal
Merlyn: hey, what's that line about you directing the weirdly cool panorama on your web site?
Dexter Fong: Surreality is never out of style
Cpt. Equinox (ret.): That's how I fee.
nurse judy: but as a western?
Cpt. Equinox (ret.): l
Dexter Fong: Hey an "l"
Merlyn: the director's guild will hear of this...
Cpt. Equinox (ret.): Looks like "l"
nurse judy: Jesse james Meets Frankenstein's Daughter!
Dexter Fong: Hilarity ensues
Cpt. Equinox (ret.): All parts in "Frankenstein" are bit parts...
Merlyn: the really strange people who stopped living and became mixed-up zombies
M.T. Austin: gilt off'd heirs, thus
Grumpy Riant: don't daughter, pass the indian
Cpt. Equinox (ret.): Merlyn: you've just defined Hollywood...
Dexter Fong: Why you duaghtering old hoot owl...reach for your gun Igor
M.T. Austin: dead cat soap will clean that up
Dexter Fong: There ain't room enough in this castle for the both of us
Merlyn: actually, I got the title wrong; it's "The Incredibly Strange Creatures Who Stopped Living and Became Mixed-Up Zombies"
nurse judy: I don't give a hoot for owls
Cpt. Equinox (ret.): Where there's life, there's soap...
M.T. Austin: cass eliot has a castle?
nurse judy: bend over
Grumpy Riant: What I did on my summer vacation
Dexter Fong: Yes MT, a white castle...fulll of Burghers
Cpt. Equinox (ret.): Hey, another Cass Elliott choke, er joke...
nurse judy: Mama Mass Elephant?
M.T. Austin: i have this snipped of 67 radio free oz where bergman talks about mama cass
M.T. Austin: they were trading gurus, perhaps, at the time.
Cpt. Equinox (ret.): What did he say?
nurse judy: Phil A's on her first solo LP
Dexter Fong: Really?
M.T. Austin: the mp3s of the era
M.T. Austin: that would esplagne it, nurse
Cpt. Equinox (ret.): A friend of mine (with three Oscars) insists he was at the first Bergman "Love-in." Also insists Bergman had a butterfly painted on the side of his head.
Dexter Fong: CE: That wasn't paint
M.T. Austin: i wasant there but somebody on austin's blog was
Cpt. Equinox (ret.): Birth defect?
nurse judy: good ything it wasn't an ironed butterfly
Dexter Fong: Staple
M.T. Austin: bergman says 20 or 40k people. who knows who cares? it was the start of something, or just a bit of flower imprinted flotsam of that era. it must have been nice
Grumpy Riant: Oona and Cass are not related, are they??
nurse judy: bedazed the fountain
Cpt. Equinox (ret.): There's going to be an anti-war thingie at the Seattle Center fountain on 15 Feb. Like we had when John Lennon died.
nurse judy: o bla di
Cpt. Equinox (ret.): well put.
nurse judy: PA didn't have the same story about the CD as WC
Cpt. Equinox (ret.): Blind men and the elephant, grasshopper Judy.
nurse judy: WC made it seem like a done deal, PA didn't, as far as Artemis?
Cpt. Equinox (ret.): Many points of view.
Merlyn: like panoramas
nurse judy: all hail Morry
Cpt. Equinox (ret.): Yes, but all at the same time.
M.T. Austin: more e/ more f? more, eh?
nurse judy: I guess there goes All Day matinee
Merlyn: yeah, I think they have to get the rights back from whirlwind and release it again
M.T. Austin: that's amore
Cpt. Equinox (ret.): When you're bit in the heel, by a seven-foot eel, that's a moray...
nurse judy: but they're partners?
M.T. Austin: leave it to your president. launch a war on valentine's day
||||||||| It's 12:30 AM, and that means it's time to play BEAT THE REAPER! And here's how our contestants did:
||||||||| Dexter Fong - dead from The Plague
||||||||| Better luck next time! And now, back to our chatroom, which is already in progress...
nurse judy: we love war
M.T. Austin: ii'll see your christmas bombings, and i'll show you This, dr. kissinger
Cpt. Equinox (ret.): Well, when you consider that St. Valentine was beaten to death and beheaded, it somehow fits...
M.T. Austin: indeed
nurse judy: I'm fading...............
M.T. Austin: tha happens
Cpt. Equinox (ret.): You need more fixer...
nurse judy: hypo hypo
Cpt. Equinox (ret.): atropine away
Grumpy Riant: Speaking of fading, Nite All,... take care of yourselves
||||||||| Catherwood says "12:33 AM, time for SOMEONE to leave!", grabs Grumpy Riant by the collar and gives 'em the old bum's rush out the door
Merlyn: yeah, time to break up
Cpt. Equinox (ret.): Sominex, Grumpy...
nurse judy: nighty night snuggles
M.T. Austin: we'll do our best, grumpy
||||||||| "Hey nurse judy!" ... nurse judy turns, and sees Bradshaw approching with the handcuffs, and is dragged away, screaming "it's only 12:34 AM, I don't have to go yet!"...
M.T. Austin: cpt and merlyn, you think the pinnacle 8 will do me as good as the premiere 6 for current projects? youre the experts
Cpt. Equinox (ret.): I've been up to my navel in this movie, and recent medical developments, so I've not heard any news. Google search finds me easy, write me.
M.T. Austin: i seem to be dissappearing, like shoes....
Cpt. Equinox (ret.): MT. Are you Cat?
Merlyn: I'm not familiar with pinnacle 8, so I can't compair
M.T. Austin: good to hear you'rve survived medical and movie progresses, capt
M.T. Austin: capt sam suggested i get pinnacle. its cheap. any good?
Cpt. Equinox (ret.): Pinnacle works really well, they have good support, and a darn easy to use product. Premiere, I've had since day one, it's still not as good as...well...
M.T. Austin: but i dont think it does chroma key so i need an add-on , of about the same prcie.
M.T. Austin: sme obvious question is, will i get more than i can use by getting premier 7 or whatever vs a smaller program, such as sam recomends
M.T. Austin: ok, sam, so can i easily blend images, key those blue screeens, etc with this?
Merlyn: well, I'm going to take off, bye
Cpt. Equinox (ret.): Sure, you need to use After Effects, that's what I'd do. By the way, there's only the three of us here, I don't know who you both are, but I'm Sam Longoria
M.T. Austin: i'm cat simril lishikawa
Cpt. Equinox (ret.): Merlyn? Can you hang out a minute?
M.T. Austin: and merlyn is a magician, who ever he is
Merlyn: ok
Merlyn: i'm brian westley
Cpt. Equinox (ret.): Hey, Cat, I wondered if it were you. I'm just an ignorant lurker.
M.T. Austin: its east to attach afteraffects to pinnacle?
M.T. Austin: ki usually change my names several times throught my sessions here. for some reason, its easier than keeping the same one
Cpt. Equinox (ret.): Brian. How are you doing?
M.T. Austin: easy? pinnapcel appeals to me cuz of its apparent ease of use
Merlyn: I'm doing ok; sounds like you've had some health problems lately...
Cpt. Equinox (ret.): Pinnacle makes a good bunch of productis. Commotion is a very good motion tracking and compositing package, and it ties to Studio 8,
Cpt. Equinox (ret.): Yes, I've been taking care of myself for a year, eating only raw food, but they still had to move some things around with surgical implements yesterday.
Cpt. Equinox (ret.): I'm eating pills, which I don't like to do, but there you are.
Cpt. Equinox (ret.): How's the web site going, Brian? Every time I go there, it looks great.
Merlyn: thanks; haven't done much lately, I want to get one more set of XM clips up
Merlyn: do you have any surreal west news or pictures for the web site?
Cpt. Equinox (ret.): Do you code those by hand, or do you do that with software? XM I mean?
Merlyn: I make the clips exporting realvideo from premiere, and code the web pages by hand
Cpt. Equinox (ret.): You're a Real Programmer. Happy to provide pictures, when I get back to Hollywood. I'm doing a backpedal on the "first ppydigital western" since I talked with my distributors. They don't want to pay very much if they think it's not film.
Merlyn: bamboozled was digital
Cpt. Equinox (ret.): So, I'm not pushing the "digital angle" any more.
Merlyn: that's probably not really a selling point with the public anyway
Cpt. Equinox (ret.): Yep, all movies with effects are digital any more, but if it wasn't 35mm film, the amount you can charge slopes away precipitously.
Cpt. Equinox (ret.): Cat, have you put together any of your bluescreen composites, yet?
M.T. Austin: i did with merl';s advice, tutorials for preimeir 6. looks like shit but at least it happened
M.T. Austin: but you suggest i use a much cheaper software so i'll try that.
M.T. Austin: less than a good meal
Cpt. Equinox (ret.): "Done" is a very good quality in a movie shot. Premiere is what I use, because I have all this time tied up in learning it.
M.T. Austin: so i hesitate to pour too much video into tests if i'm definitely going a particular direction
M.T. Austin: yes, i vastly admire recent firesign produtivity.
M.T. Austin: doonesberry, others
Cpt. Equinox (ret.): Premiere can do whatever resolution you want (they use it for big movies), and I don't know what resolution (how many dots) Pinnacle puts out. Just check that first, is all I say.
M.T. Austin: i do need to set myself more projects that i can complete, and then move on to other projects.
Merlyn: was that it, sam?
M.T. Austin: okm cpt
Cpt. Equinox (ret.): No, actually I want to apologize to you if I hurt your feelings by referring to myself as a director on my webpage.
M.T. Austin: glad to hear you're healing well, sam
M.T. Austin: hope you got my email get well card
Merlyn: weeell, as the director of the panorama
M.T. Austin: will talk to you all, anon
Cpt. Equinox (ret.): On that panorama shot, Phil Austin told me to pick a spot for the camera to sit. In my book, a director usually points to a spot, and the cameraman proceeds to set up there. It's just how I'm used to working. I didn't think anything of it at all, and I certainly didn't mean to disparage your excellent work.
Cpt. Equinox (ret.): See you, Cat.
Merlyn: oh, ok
Cpt. Equinox (ret.): I certainly didn't do any more than that, and I really don't want to step on your toes.
Merlyn: that's ok; the lights were the main problem, anyway
Cpt. Equinox (ret.): I didn't know who you were, when we first started chatting, and I didn't even know you might be unhappy. So for what it's worth, please accept my apoligy.
Merlyn: ok
Cpt. Equinox (ret.): Thanks Brian.
||||||||| Catherwood enters the room, strikes a gong, and bellows "THE TIME IN NEW YORK IS 1 O'CLOCK", then silently exits.
Merlyn: getting real late, bye...
||||||||| Merlyn rushes off, saying "1:01 AM? Mark Time is almost on! Where's a radio?"
Cpt. Equinox (ret.): Or, "apology," or however they spell it in MN
Cpt. Equinox (ret.): good night
||||||||| At 1:03 AM, Cpt. Equinox (ret.) vanishes mysteriously -- just as Nino the Mind Boggler predicted!
||||||||| It's 1:10 AM, and that means it's time to play BEAT THE REAPER! And here's how our contestants did:
||||||||| M.T. Austin - dead from jaundice
||||||||| Better luck next time! And now, back to our chatroom, which is already in progress...
||||||||| Catherwood enters, and announces to all and sundry "It's 4:32 AM, time to change the log file and clean out unused rooms; please log off for a minute or two. Thank you for your patience."


The Evening's Participants:
Phil Austin
Bubba's Brain
Bunnyboy
cease
Cpt. Equinox (ret.)
Dave
Dexter Fong
doctec
Elayne
General Buck Turgidson
Grumpy Riant
Ken
M.T. Austin
Merlyn
nurse judy
Uncle Ernie
WCGuy
URL References:
http://homepage.mac.com/waynestewart/goons.html
http://idisk.mac.com/sallystew/Public/goons/SheLovesYou_German.mp3
http://issuesandalibis.org
www.artemisrecords.com
http://www.firesigntheatre.com/proctor/weirdly/jackbennyprop.jpg
http://www.nhgazette.com/chickenhawks.html
http://www.sensoryresearch.com/~starkeff/letitbe.mp3
http://www.snopes.com/military/limbaugh.htm



Rogue's Gallery:

cat_pp.jpg (5168 bytes)
PP and Cat(cease)

newbunny.jpg (4426 bytes)
Bunnyboy

capeklok.jpg (5469 bytes)
klokwkdog

capeken.jpg (7639 bytes)
kend^

freq.jpg (4441 bytes)
FreqMan

brian1.jpg (2847 bytes)
Merlyn LeRoy

capedoc.jpg (6006 bytes)
DocTech

newlili.jpg (6085 bytes)
LiliLamont

roto.jpg (6046 bytes)
Rotonoto

babs_so.jpg (5555 bytes)
LeatherG & SO

nino1.jpg (5352 bytes)
Nin0

tonk1.jpg (6123 bytes)
Tonk

And,
"The Home Team"

peggy.jpg (5240 bytes)
Peggy Blisswhips

audrey.jpg (4873 bytes)
Audrey Farber

tdt.jpg (6077 bytes)
Tiny Dr. Tim
Rest In Peace,
Dear Friend