A Firesign Chat


||||||||| Catherwood re-enters the Waiting Room and explains "This is the main discussion room which is logged each night."
||||||||| Catherwood announces, "The time is 4:33 AM - I now declare Thursday's chat log for December 23, 2004 officially open!"... and then, he retires back to the vestibule...
||||||||| Catherwood strides up and snorts derisively "Presenting 'Firebroiled', just granted probation at 11:56 AM", then leaves hurriedly.
Firebroiled: Well, my stars! Looks like I'm gonna miss out on all the exposition, and the biggest thing since the Eagle landed. If I could just get this dad-blamed water pump to turn over . . .
||||||||| Around 11:56 AM, Firebroiled walks off into the sunset...
||||||||| Catherwood strides in with a trumpet, plays a fanfare, and proclaims "Nine PM on Thursday, December 23, 2004 - I now declare alt.comedy.firesgn-thtre's chat officially open!" -- then he looks around at the empty room, looks at his watch, and mumbles "...am I early?"
||||||||| klokwkWETdog sneaks in around 9:19 PM, trying to avoid Catherwood because of last week's "unpleasant incident."
||||||||| klokwkWETdog runs out the back door as Mayor P'nisnose blasts through the front door holding a shotgun and shouting "Where's klokwkWETdog?! It's 9:19 PM and my ballot boxes haven't been stuffed yet!"
||||||||| klokwkWETdog sneaks in around 9:20 PM, trying to avoid Catherwood because of last week's "unpleasant incident."
klokwkWETdog: Hullo everyone; I'm here but will be late ;-))
||||||||| pablo gottfried singh sneaks in around 9:28 PM, trying to avoid Catherwood because of last week's "unpleasant incident."
pablo gottfried singh: good evening
pablo gottfried singh: is nobody here yet or is it my imagination?
pablo gottfried singh: is nobody here yet or is it my imagination?
pablo gottfried singh: strange enough that Merlyn's not here. Alright, I declare the chatroom officially open!
pablo gottfried singh: It is oddly disturbing and disturbingly odd to find no one here at 9:30.
||||||||| cease sneaks in around 9:56 PM, trying to avoid Catherwood because of last week's "unpleasant incident."
cease: happy kwanza, amigos
cease: now i know what they mean by "silent night"
||||||||| It's 10:00 PM, and that means it's time to play BEAT THE REAPER! And here's how our contestants did:
||||||||| pablo gottfried singh - dead from measles
||||||||| Better luck next time! And now, back to our chatroom, which is already in progress...
||||||||| Catherwood enters the room, strikes a gong, and bellows "THE TIME IN NEW YORK IS 10 O'CLOCK", then silently exits.
||||||||| pablo gottfried singh sneaks in around 10:01 PM, trying to avoid Catherwood because of last week's "unpleasant incident."
pablo gottfried singh: hi cat
cease: is everyone out buyint their kwanza presents tonight?
cease: or maybe snowed in somewhere in the east?
pablo gottfried singh: rained actually
cease: where are you?
pablo gottfried singh: I can't imagine what's going on.
cease: we expect rain in vancouver
pablo gottfried singh: remember me, cat? I'm in Ticonderoga
cease: yammy?
pablo gottfried singh: I thought you would have caught on by now. My gag is always mixed ethnicity. Muhammed Katzenstein, Antoine Giuseppe Chang, Olaf Garcia.
cease: ailene yukamoto?
cease: you're in upstate ny? i thought that was the site of serious snow now
pablo gottfried singh: no, it's usually a welsh name
cease: i hope kend's truck isn't stuck
klokwkWETdog: it's quiet tonight! hi all
pablo gottfried singh: maybe the snow's coming but it rained all day here and in Vermont where I was this afternoon
cease: klok
pablo gottfried singh: hey klok
klokwkWETdog: i'm glad this H2O is not snow! no wonder it's bad in Midwest
cease: rhode island closed down?
pablo gottfried singh: klok, cat doesn't seem to recognize me. You can tell, can't you?
klokwkWETdog: no, just wet
klokwkWETdog: it closes down tomorrow night for the big American holiday, Christmas
klokwkWETdog: has E showed tonite?
pablo gottfried singh: nobody but us three have showed tonight
klokwkWETdog: then we should get a prize!
pablo gottfried singh: very strange Merlyn's not here
||||||||| Merlyn sneaks in around 10:18 PM, trying to avoid Catherwood because of last week's "unpleasant incident."
Merlyn: what?
klokwkWETdog: exactly, Merlyn
pablo gottfried singh: speaking of whom
klokwkWETdog: let's see if it works from RI: very strange Elayne's not here...
||||||||| ce sneaks in around 10:19 PM, trying to avoid Catherwood because of last week's "unpleasant incident."
ce: hi merl
Merlyn: I had forgotten, because my usual schedule was changed
pablo gottfried singh: what?
Merlyn: hey cat, you can log in over your old name if your IP address is the same
klokwkWETdog: hello ce! it worked, but maybe not as we thought
klokwkWETdog: this is fun. very strange Dexter Fong's not here
Merlyn: and you IP address is the same for "ce" and "cease", so you could have just logged in again as "cease"
cease: did they change the schedule of any of the firesign shows you're attending, merl?
cease: that's what i did, merl
pablo gottfried singh: Well, nobody ever gets this joke, so I'm going to have to go back out and come back a little more recognizable
klokwkWETdog: well, in a Star Trek episode, if Cat logged back in as "ce", the server would explode and Captain Kirk would win again...
||||||||| Gusts of wind blow in from outside and the thumpa-thumpa-thumpa of helicopter blades is heard as Happy Panditt's chopper lands on the lawn and llanwydd disembarks at 10:22 PM.
cease: funny phone call from mass. really hard to understand the accent, but after many listenings, i discovered the firesign thee AY ter had changed their time from 8 to 7
Merlyn: not that I know of, cat
llanwydd: que pasa?
cease: then i got an email from Lili White at ticketmaster telling me the same thing
klokwkWETdog: you have to go with more recognizable variations on a theme, Yam: we're always hoping for new visitors and don't stare at the monikers too much...
Merlyn: I'd better get an email announcement out about that. The seattle show on what night(s)?
Merlyn: sunday, isn't it?
cease: its only on sunday, isnt it?
Merlyn: right
llanwydd: never on sunday
llanwydd: by the way we also have FM
cease: the welshman returns
cease: maybe he'll burst into a christmas carol, like the welsh miners the ghost of xmas present shows scrooge
cease: that's one scene in the flick that doesnt make any sense to me at all
llanwydd: Maybe I'll burst into "Great Expectations" instead
llanwydd: Or great expectorations. would you like an olive or twist in your martini
cease: every other scene the ghosts show him have to do directly with scrooge, the cratchets or scrooges "are there no prisons?" remark.
cease: maybe scrooge's coal mining years were edited out of the flick
llanwydd: which film version. there were quite a few
||||||||| It's 10:30 PM, and that means it's time to play BEAT THE REAPER! And here's how our contestants did:
||||||||| ce - dead from intense demonic possession
||||||||| pablo gottfried singh - dead from The Plague
||||||||| Better luck next time! And now, back to our chatroom, which is already in progress...
cease: there is only one. alistair sim of course
llanwydd: I can't imagine scrooge as a coal miner
cease: all the rest are just variants of "bah, humbug"
cease: although i did like the mr. magoo one. saw it for the first time in decades last year
llanwydd: but cat, didn't you see Albert Finney as Scrooge? He was excellent
cease: good tunes
cease: dont think i saw it, llan
llanwydd: you have to see a lot of Albert Finney films to know what a great actor he was
cease: elayne told me she saw capt. picard play all the characters
klokwkWETdog: I'm sure readers of Dicken's time would be perfectly horrified by the 1950s British Christmas Carol
cease: on boradway or someplace like it
cease: i think they would be horrified at moving pictures. theyd think they were the work of the devil
klokwkWETdog: it's not a story, like Oklahoma that I'd rush out to see others' performances in
klokwkWETdog: Shatner as Scrooge might be funny, tho'
cease: could be. like his "songs"
llanwydd: I think Patrick Stewart is just alright. He has a great voice, though
klokwkWETdog: oh, the new ones are pretty darn good, Cat
cease: for tiny tim?
llanwydd: I recently heard Shatner's "Lucy in the Sky With Diamonds". It's a scream
Merlyn: yeah
cease: i've heard it.
cease: if the beatles heard it, they would have sworn off acid forever
cease: i've recently learned that purple haze was slang for acid in hendrix's day
cease: unfortunately, i learned this after embarking on my purple haze as brand of cannabis video
klokwkWETdog: bummer
klokwkWETdog: Cat - http://www.allmusic.com/cg/amg.dll?p=amg&sql=10:kx7ibk59dak9~T1
klokwkWETdog: some of the songs are being played on KCRW and KEXP fairly often
cease: ben folds, eh? i enjoyed ben folds five on larry sanders
llanwydd: Speaking of drugs, here's something you might know about, cat. I walked into a head shop in Burlington, Vermont today just to look around and I saw packages of some herbal substance that looked so much like the real thing, I was shocked. Do you have any experience with that? Do you know what it is?
klokwkWETdog: The People's Republic of Vermont? I think they're outside the system now...
cease: pretend pot? i've seen it advertised but never actually for sale and never tried it.
llanwydd: I would'nt be surprised if they sold the real thing in stores in Canada. But in Vermont, I have my doubts
cease: our local cannabis culture mag was feuding with high times about that
||||||||| Catherwood enters with doctec close behind, mutters something about disrupting his 10:43 PM tree-stunting plans, and runs off to the Aviary.
cease: of course, high times is based in the states where there'd be more of a market for it
klokwkWETdog: hey, Doc!
cease: hi doc
doctec: hi guise
cease: you've come to join our tiny assembly tonight
llanwydd: hey doc
doctec: just stopped in briefly to wish everyone a very merry christmas
klokwkWETdog: now we are five...
doctec: and a happy new year
cease: same to you and lili, doc
Merlyn: hi doc
Merlyn: solstice was yesterday
cease: they've changed the time of the firesign show we're going to see in seattle
Merlyn: today is festivus
klokwkWETdog: happy holidaze DT, Lili
doctec: thanx cat. hi merl
cease: from 8 to 7. should not be a problem
doctec: thanx klok
doctec: cat: no, no problem
doctec: as long as i know where and when we need to be there, we'll see to it that we're there
cease: very werid phone call from mass tellingme about it, or so i figured after listening to it 3 times
doctec: lili and i are really looking fwd to coming out west
klokwkWETdog: you should save it and morph into one of your productions, Cat
cease: then i got an email from Lili White at ticketmaster, telling me the same thing
cease: indeed klok. it was postively Firesonian
Merlyn: Earlier tonight I had an odd thought; what if Santa was a werewolf, and every 30 years or so the night before christmas was a full moon?
klokwkWETdog was listening to Giant Rat this evening and marveling again at the character voices
llanwydd: my isp has knocked me off several times tonight
klokwkWETdog: What if aliens invaded during World War II?
cease: we'd have to make enough noise to keep the wolves awake
Merlyn: illegal aliens?
cease: kung foo fighters?
doctec: wolves, squirrels, porcupines...
klokwkWETdog: there'd be a big trade in silver bullets at Wal-Mart the week before Christmas?
Merlyn: kung foo fighters vs. wu tang clan
cease: the drink of Astonauts
doctec: woo, tang!
Merlyn: took me a while to get that, cat
llanwydd: So who are we missing? Tweeny, Elayne, Bunnyboy, Bone E Boi, Dave, Bambi, Dex, kend, quite a few actually. What could be the cause of the terrible chat drought?
doctec: bubba too
cease: kend is on the road
doctec: i'm guessing most people are in pre-holiday mode
klokwkWETdog: werewolves thru the wires, Ilan?
cease: dave is probably pissed off at me for not sending him the kerouac mp3s yet
doctec: there's always lots of last minute stuff to tend to
Merlyn: it's the night before^2 christmas
klokwkWETdog: ken was home for 2 hours, sent us a note then off towards WY in his big rig
cease: indeed. even for people who dont Do anything
doctec: thanx for forwarding that klok
cease: sounds like a country western tune, klok
klokwkWETdog has a Santa-vodoo doll all lit up in the front window with lighted pins in it
Merlyn: sounds get, kwd
Merlyn: any jpgs?
llanwydd: hjlkkhiou
klokwkWETdog: yeah, ought to knock "My Woman Ran Off With My Best Friend and I Miss Him" right outta the charts, Cat
Merlyn: (somehow the "ra" got out of "great"
Merlyn: )
cease: anyone know a little egyptsheen?
klokwkWETdog: it's imaginary, Merlyn, but about my mindset...
Merlyn: little egypt?
klokwkWETdog: ra, ra, ra! Cat
Merlyn: she was a dancer, or a dasher, or a prancer, or a vixen
cease: yu're a regular jack benny
doctec: what a vixen too...
llanwydd: cat, I recognize that line from Neal Amid
cease: oh don. don capone
klokwkWETdog: allmusic has the darndest things in it; I read there that Joan Osborne studied with Nusrat Fateh Ali Kahn...
doctec: don we now our gay capone
cease: 3 lines in a row, llan. and the first one was from Merl
doctec: klok: wow, i never knew that
doctec: cool
cease: you pack stan, i'll pack ollie
klokwkWETdog: the thing is like this giant time sink. i go there to check something and 4 hours later...
llanwydd: then we'll plant potatoes on your grave instead
klokwkWETdog: btw, built a kick-ass 3Gig Pentium 4 system for someone; they picked these monster parts, just kept coming. awesome if u have the coins
klokwkWETdog: i think the days when people build computers are coming to an end, kind of like the days when people built their own cars...
doctec: klok: what blows me away is you can put together a 3 gig pc *without* spending big coin
cease: spud raliegh, good to see you back
doctec: why do you save that, klok?
doctec: SAY that i mean
klokwkWETdog: oh yeah, the CPU/m'board/memory/video came to under 7 bills and I remember paying $600 just for a 66 MHz 486 and $500+ for a 500MB hard drive
doctec: oh btw merl: lili LOVED your 'old blue ice is back' line a while back...
doctec: we're drinking some now :) :) :)
klokwkWETdog: DT - oh, i was looking at their living room setup and they were grousing about all the remotes
cease: have a blue moss
doctec: klok: so you're saying people will stop building pcs for other people 'cause there's no money in it?
klokwkWETdog: cable box, tv, dvd, vcr -- PITA and all those things work differently
klokwkWETdog: and all the hassle for the computer -- theirs blew a HDD, one memory stick and something on the m/b
||||||||| Catherwood enters the room, strikes a gong, and bellows "THE TIME IN NEW YORK IS 11 O'CLOCK", then silently exits.
cease: pita bread?
klokwkWETdog: TiVO already is a Linux box; I suspect the cable box will be come a "thin client" and DVDs, VCRs will vanish
klokwkWETdog: "computer" will be you pay extra $/mo and the cable co. gives you a wireless keyboard & mouse and enables you to log on
klokwkWETdog: they're already sending pay per view; I think they'll just have a server full of stuff and you pick it and watch
klokwkWETdog: one remote, no 5000 DVD boxes you have to catalog, store somewhere, load in, etc.
Merlyn: I just found out I have free on demand stuff on cable
doctec: in other words: the future ain't what it used to be
klokwkWETdog: your living room electronics shrinks into the TV; the "cable box" is a plug-in card gizmo that goes into a slot in the TV
cease: but it'll be owned by the same old folks. aol, msn, disney....
klokwkWETdog: since HDTV is a pretty decent computer monitor, you don't need the computer crap anymore
klokwkWETdog: and all your stuff is stored at the cable company, not on a hard drive that can fry
doctec: klok: sounds like what is happening in the electronic music keyboard arena - there's company that's selling a pc inside a keyboard - openlabs.com sells the "neko" system
klokwkWETdog: if the separate stuff some of us love to tinker with survives that, it won't be at all cheap or available
cease: that was my name in japan
klokwkWETdog: DT - didja see the NYT thing about the girl in Oregon who made the chip that fits in joystick, plays all the C64, Atari, etc. games?
doctec: cat: no kidding - that's amazing
doctec: klok: yeah, i thought that was BRILLIANT
cease: neko=cat in nihongo
doctec: she's gonna make a fortune off those
klokwkWETdog: ah
klokwkWETdog: no, she did it for contract labor price
cease: i was also called "cheap" and "available" but that was something else
doctec: well, it's gonna lead to her making a fortune off something else
cease: those balls will make her fortune
doctec: she's got a great back story - enjoyed reading how she got into chip design work
cease: she wanted to join the california highway patrol but she was too short?
klokwkWETdog: DT - you can just about fit one in yourself- check the "mini-ITX" stuff. 6.5" square motherboard. people stick them inside guitars, cuckoo clocks, etc. -- it's a whole kind of art scene
doctec: well guys, i'm gonna hafta split - glad i managed to catch you guys while you were here
cease: the best holidays to you both
Merlyn: ok doc
klokwkWETdog: nite Doc -- have a relaxxed holiday
doctec: again, y'all have a really great holiday and we'll probably be on again next thursday - last chat of the year
klokwkWETdog wonders where we are going...but figures we'll find out...
cease: drink lots. there are still sober people in india
klokwkWETdog: yeah.
doctec: thanx klok - i'm off mon/tue next week as well as tomorrow, so 5 days to recharge batteries
klokwkWETdog: hey -- somebody set the TITLE for this chat, eh?'
doctec: oh hey - i'm gonna be working on an indie movie soundtrack soon
klokwkWETdog: cool!
doctec: you can check out the trailer at http://www.doingagatha.com (i did the music for it)
cease: hope it pays better than red shift
Merlyn: good stuff, doc
doctec: it's very 'mive soundtrack'-ish
doctec: movie
Merlyn: oh, some bad news - john rice was unable to get Firesign a show on air america
doctec: cat: probably won't but that's ok - i'm doing it more for the fun/experience/exposure
cease: bummer
doctec: merl: too bad - sorry to hear that
klokwkWETdog: yeah, if it doesn't sound like a movie soundtrack, the audience will think the movie is a documentary
cease: hopefully some of them can come on as guests
doctec: klok: riiiiiiiiiight...
klokwkWETdog: unless there's plenty of foley...
doctec: ok, nytol - have a great xmas - see you next thursday! (zzzzzzzzzzzzzzz...........
||||||||| Around 11:13 PM, doctec walks off into the sunset...
||||||||| 11:13 PM: Elayne jumps out of the hall closet saying "I've been listening to all of you talking about me for the past hour!"
klokwkWETdog: byedoc
Elayne: Evenin' all, sorry to be so late!
Merlyn: the AA prez likes them, but he's deferring to the programmers
Elayne: Dang, just missed Tom...
klokwkWETdog: you just missed DT!
cease: i would have thought that money would be the issue
cease: hi el!
Elayne: Happy Christmas, Cat and Merlyn and Klok!
cease: i dont imagine air america pays enough to get them together to do a show
klokwkWETdog: we are a small, dedicated core tonight...
Elayne: Oh, and Llan, if he's still here...
cease: hey el, i just had some yuzu miso on my green beans tonight
Merlyn: that was part of it, cat
Elayne: Brian, thanks again for passing along the update from Ken.
Elayne: Sounds yummy, Cat!
cease: bergman should go on as a guest on janeane or franken
cease: actually it's common bar food in japan. grlled vegies with yuzu miso
cease: have you never had yuzu, el?
Merlyn: which update, E?
llanwydd: I'm still here, I was just making a late dinner
Merlyn: yes cat, I still want to try to get some guest shots
klokwkWETdog: then you won't get any pudding!
Elayne: I only got one, Brian. It was the one that mentioned where he'd be spending Christmas and such.
llanwydd: I've had miso soup but not yuzu
Elayne: I don't think so, Cat.
cease: yuzu is a citrus they put in baths in japan at this time of year, other stuff all year long. its in el's blog
cease: i LOVE yuzu. if you can't find it in nyc, i'll bring you some
llanwydd: that's not a joke, is it? Me zo and you zo
Merlyn: I think that was Ken sending it out, not me
Elayne: Yes Cat, I'd love to see it, thanks!
Elayne: We should go walkies around the closest thing to Japantown in Manhattan, around the East Village.
Elayne: I don't know of any Japanese enclaves in Westchester County, but I could Google around...
Elayne: Oh okay, Brian, I thought you had responded to it and passed that along... maybe I'm misremembering...
Merlyn: ok
klokwkWETdog: no, it was me (Brian), not the other Brian, E...
cease: more than one brian? this is turning into Canada
klokwkWETdog: we're overloaded with Brians, so they're hashed to different pointers...
klokwkWETdog: and a happy Mulrooney to you, too, Cat
cease: i'll be really happy when he dies, klok
cease: did someone say hash?
klokwkWETdog: yeah, a software technique to look up items by the first parts of their ID
cease: hey el, is spamalot still being considered?
Elayne: Gah, too many Brians...
Elayne: Cat, I'd love to try to get tickets, but who knows if they'll be available?
cease: i guess one can find out from the website.
klokwkWETdog: yeah, I forwarded Ken's msg to all the FST folks not on his mail (at least, the ones I had addresses for -- I think you were left out Ilan...)
cease: i saw Barefoot in the Park on broadway on my last trip there
Elayne: Well then, thank you Klok/Brian! :)
Elayne: I should go, but I'd like to leave y'all with a QuickTime movie of my husband's inks: http://files.bighosting.net/zo16097.mov
klokwkWETdog: E - yours was the only email reply thanking me, which was noted and appreciated
cease: thanks, el
Elayne: Night, all! Merry happy!
||||||||| At 11:28 PM, Elayne vanishes mysteriously -- just as Nino the Mind Boggler predicted!
klokwkWETdog: nite E!
cease: joy joy
cease: just as you are thanking me
Merlyn: I'm going to go too, nite all
klokwkWETdog: Cat was on the original list
cease: by merl
klokwkWETdog: nite M
cease: for kend's adventures, klok?
klokwkWETdog: I think I will toodle, too, unless anyone desperately needs company ;-)
klokwkWETdog: yes, Cat
||||||||| 11:30 PM -- Merlyn left for parts unknown.   (Entry from Nick Danger's "Idiots I Have Been Paid To Follow").
cease: we'll meet again next week
cease: pleasent holidays to you
klokwkWETdog: yes, hopefully. have a nice holiday in the meantime, Cat; you too Ilan
klokwkWETdog: i leave now...
klokwkWETdog: bye
||||||||| Around 11:31 PM, klokwkWETdog walks off into the sunset...
cease: see you next week, llan
||||||||| 11:31 PM -- cease left for parts unknown.   (Entry from Nick Danger's "Idiots I Have Been Paid To Follow").
||||||||| It's 11:50 PM, and that means it's time to play BEAT THE REAPER! And here's how our contestants did:
||||||||| llanwydd - dead from the yaws
||||||||| Better luck next time! And now, back to our chatroom, which is already in progress...
||||||||| Catherwood enters, and announces to all and sundry "It's 4:32 AM, time to change the log file and clean out unused rooms; please exit the chat room for a minute or two. Thank you for your patience."

The Evening's Participants:
pablo gottfried singh
URL References:

Rogue's Gallery:

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PP and Cat(cease)

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Merlyn LeRoy

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LeatherG & SO

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"The Home Team"

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Rest In Peace,
Dear Friend