A Firesign Chat


||||||||| Catherwood re-enters the Waiting Room and explains "This is the main discussion room which is logged each night."
||||||||| Catherwood announces, "The time is 4:33 AM - I now declare Thursday's chat log for November 24, 2005 officially open!"... and then, he retires back to the vestibule...
||||||||| With a theatrical clearing of his throat, Catherwood pipes up: "8:51 AM and late as usual, it's Firebroiled, just back from Elmertown."
Firebroiled: Does anyone have any hot groat clusters to stuff my tourque...??
Firebroiled: Gobble-gobble gobble-gobble gobble-gobble gobble-gobble gobble-gobble gobble-gobble gobble-gobble talk to you all later!!
||||||||| At 8:54 AM, Firebroiled vanishes mysteriously -- just as Nino the Mind Boggler predicted!
||||||||| Catherwood strides in with a trumpet, plays a fanfare, and proclaims "Nine PM on Thursday, November 24, 2005 - I now declare alt.comedy.firesgn-thtre's chat officially open!" -- then he looks around at the empty room, looks at his watch, and mumbles "...am I early?"
||||||||| Gusts of wind blow in from outside and the thumpa-thumpa-thumpa of helicopter blades is heard as Happy Panditt's chopper lands on the lawn and Dexter Fong disembarks at 9:29 PM.
Dexter Fong: Well, who'da thought
Dexter Fong: How are you Catherwood
||||||||| Catherwood walks right past Dexter Fong
Dexter Fong: Up yours Catherwood
||||||||| Catherwood walks alongside Dexter Fong and mumbles "My ears are burning..."
||||||||| 9:30 PM: Tourkay jumps out of the hall closet saying "I've been listening to all of you talking about me for the past hour!"
Dexter Fong: Gobble Gobble Tourkey
Tourkay: Where's everybody?
Dexter Fong: Indeed!!
Tourkay: Don't tell me they're still eating
Dexter Fong: 'pparently
Tourkay: Catherwood get me some people
||||||||| Catherwood gets Tourkay some people.
Tourkay: Roll a couple and leave them on the side table in the sitting room
Tourkay: Let's burn some Catherwood...
||||||||| Catherwood steps up to Tourkay and says "Typing my name just to rile me, eh?"
Tourkay: And the terrible news drought continues......
||||||||| Gusts of wind blow in from outside and the thumpa-thumpa-thumpa of helicopter blades is heard as Happy Panditt's chopper lands on the lawn and cease disembarks at 9:36 PM.
Tourkay: they should put a chip up your ass, Catherwood
||||||||| Catherwood rushes over to Tourkay and mumbles "oh, fuck off Tourkay!"
cease: hi dex. could you open the word file?
cease: did dex leave?
Tourkay: Hey cease
cease: george de la tourkey?
Tourkay: He was just here a moment ago
Tourkay: He could be sitting in the waiting room or....
cease: or did you split it with the sound effects man?
Tourkay: splitting the sound could be deafening
||||||||| It's 9:40 PM, and that means it's time to play BEAT THE REAPER! And here's how our contestants did:
||||||||| Dexter Fong - dead from dengue fever
||||||||| Better luck next time! And now, back to our chatroom, which is already in progress...
||||||||| Dexter Fong tiptoes in around 9:40 PM, trying to avoid Catherwood because of last year's "unpleasant incident."
Tourkay: Fong Dong gone
Dexter Fong: Sorry Tourkey, ISP crashed or something technical like that
Dexter Fong: Hiya Cat
cease: hey dex. could you open the word file?
cease: happy dead indian day, as it were
Dexter Fong: Cat: Not yet..seems to be Adobe Acrobat file...will continue to hack away at it...I'll let you know if I can't do it
cease: i never heard from bambi and ah clem about the list i sent them, or even if they opened it
cease: no, its Word
Tourkay: Pass the Indian, dead or alive, with extra blood
||||||||| Catherwood accompanies Dr. Headphones inside, makes a note of the time (9:42 PM), then fades off into the distance going on about the waiting room or the sitting room or something.
Dr. Headphones: good evening, dear friends :)
Dexter Fong: Hey Kend^ =)))
Tourkay: Hey Fones
Dexter Fong: What a delightful surprise
cease: hey, its kend. now the party can begin
Dr. Headphones: yep, i'm off until monday 4am
cease: where did i put my drugs?
Dexter Fong: In your veins?
Dr. Headphones: cat, i have none i can pass you, alas
cease: i have lots as usual
cease: lot 49, as i recall
Dr. Headphones: although i just finished a huge dinner, might need tums for the tummy later
cease: or maybe his wife
Dexter Fong cries, "Lot 49" I used to live there
Dr. Headphones: i bid on lot 49 at auction once. got beat by old lady with purple hair who outbid me
cease: hows the truckin biz, kend?
Dr. Headphones: cat: staying incredibly busy
cease: at least you werent beaten by the tystero.
cease: they use brass knuckles
Dr. Headphones: i never was beaten by muhammad ali either, thank grid
cease: is that good, kend?
Dexter Fong: Kend^: Hope they made that hole you have to pee into big enough
cease: i dont think i've ever been busy, and dont plan to start anytime soon
Dr. Headphones: dex: mostly it's the big white things in rest rooms where i pee. well, sometimes i pee into the stream also
cease: and thats important
Dexter Fong: That's Ecology friends
Dr. Headphones: not much in life that's more important. got to reward our downstream brothers and sisters
Tourkay: The burning question of the hour??
||||||||| klokwkdoggobble enters at 9:47 PM as Catherwood takes their hat and goat and scurries off to the Chapeau Manger.
Dexter Fong: OUr upstream brothers reward us with a golden stream
cease: trucking or ecology?
Dr. Headphones: fire?
klokwkdoggobble: kinda lite this weak
Dr. Headphones: hey klokster
cease: hey klok
klokwkdoggobble: no CNI neither
Tourkay: Hey klok
Dexter Fong: Hey Klok =)
cease: i think ah and bambi are elsewhere involved
Dr. Headphones: klok: yep, lite meat on my plate earlier. dark is reserved for casseroles next week
klokwkdoggobble: ;-)
cease: did you see elayne's dinner on her blog?
klokwkdoggobble: good for them, Cat
cease: looks tasty and i dont even like turkey
klokwkdoggobble: no, was it something?
Dr. Headphones: nope, haven't looked
cease: you have her blog url?
klokwkdoggobble: no
Dexter Fong: The Earl of Blog
cease: elayneriggs.blogspot.com
Dr. Headphones: oops, gone for a minute there, had to say "bye" to guests leaving
Dexter Fong: Bye Bye Getz
cease: i thik elayne is the empress of blogs
Dr. Headphones: stan was here?
klokwkdoggobble: that was a nice feest
Dexter Fong: Kend^: Stan by your man
Dr. Headphones: dex, perhaps you didn't get the memo about my sexual identity?
Tourkay: Where's Babe Hardy?
cease: i had a chicken breast and some steamed broccoli with dill mustard
Dr. Headphones: cat: was cruising through wisconsin last week, heard local radio station interviewing curator of "the mustard museum" and he said dill mustard was one of their best sellers
cease: my govt just gave me a big tax break today. arent elections wonderful?
Dexter Fong: I had dinner with@ 28 people and drank alot of Jura, Single Malt 12 year old scoth
cease: i love it
Dr. Headphones: he let the radio guy taste some $28/jar truffle mustard
||||||||| Outside, the 9:53 PM downtown bus from Billville pulls away, leaving principlepoop coughing in a cloud of diesel fumes.
cease: did you know any of them, kend?
Dr. Headphones: oh, dex, hope you're doing well then :)
Dr. Headphones: hey poop
principlepoop: gobble gobble gobble
Dexter Fong: Hey pP
Dr. Headphones: cat: i'm not a huge mustard fan, although i do prefer the brown type over the yellow
Tourkay: What is reality, Poop?
Dexter Fong: though I notice you no longer capitalize PooP
cease: this dill stuff i get here in wondrous
principlepoop: only 12 years old scotch?
Dr. Headphones: the reality is that poop is up to 1/3 bacteria
principlepoop: reality is a crutch
klokwkdoggobble: wasted energy, Dex
cease: thats younger than most of my cllothes
Dexter Fong: Cat: I've seen how you dress =))
principlepoop: my name is saved in the chat room, I rarely change it
Dr. Headphones: saved by the blood of jesus christ, amen and hallelujah!
Dexter Fong: pp: But you were pP for some time
klokwkdoggobble: i don't think Merlyn caches names
principlepoop: dill mustard? blasphemy
principlepoop: IE or xp does, in my history
cease: well, i'll never get mugged, dex.
Tourkay: dilldoe mustard??
cease: i look poorer than any mugger
Dr. Headphones: klok: no, but your browser history usually does. i just type "fir" and it pops up for me
Dexter Fong: Cat: Not for your clothes no, Cat
principlepoop: Jesus H. Christ, don't forget his middle initial
cease: lol
Dr. Headphones: hey, am i the only lucky one who got snow for thanksgiving? about 4-5" here so far
klokwkdoggobble: it's on the monogram on the robe sleeve, Poop
Tourkay: A Mighty Hot Dog is our Lord!
cease: its been so cold here it might as well snow. we were fogged in all week
klokwkdoggobble: we got the predicted "; melted
Dexter Fong: We had a brief rain spritz but other than that, all clear on the eastern front
principlepoop: we had a inch of snow last night, in the 50s almost today
Dr. Headphones: hot dogs, mustard. someone is thinking right here
Dr. Headphones: poop: where? michigan here
principlepoop: JHC, send your hard earned money to meeeeee
principlepoop: ask nino, you cannot bother me
Dexter Fong: pP is coming out of Martinsville VA
cease: just used my new waterpipe.
principlepoop: oops it says martinsville, actually roanoke
cease: i got email from friend in ohio. he said he mowed lawn last week, its covered with snow now
Dr. Headphones: or so nino says. he also says i'm portland oregon and i am not
principlepoop: well, actually actually bottom of botetourt country, webster
Dexter Fong: pp: Lot of my relatives are from the Martinsville area
Dr. Headphones: cat: not lead is it? that's what brought down rome
cease: its supposed to change colours with use. i look forward to that
cease: no, glass
principlepoop: getting wet cat? I thought cats did not like being wet
cease: i dont like going outside at all
Dr. Headphones: i probably won't go out until ready to go to work monday 4am
Dr. Headphones: well, maybe check mail fri/sat
principlepoop: ahh the grand funk railroad song, go ahead and look outside the door
Dr. Headphones: play that funky music, white boy!
principlepoop: I thought it was barbarians
||||||||| Catherwood enters the room, strikes a gong, and bellows "THE TIME IN NEW YORK IS 10 O'CLOCK", then silently exits.
Dr. Headphones: barbarian streisand is a great singer
cease: i thought it was jesus
Dexter Fong: Play that funky music, white barbarians
Dr. Headphones: catherwood's clock needs to be cleaned
||||||||| Catherwood says "It's precisely 10:01 PM!"
cease: his blood is all over the city. they make wine out of it
Dexter Fong: Catherwood you suck
||||||||| Catherwood rushes alongside Dexter Fong and mumbles "Someone mention my name?"
Dr. Headphones: he's almost a half a time zone out of synch
principlepoop: the romans sang the way we were
principlepoop: who's blood?
Dr. Headphones: anti-crip is blood
cease: jesus's
Dexter Fong sings "Sonno Porci Questae Romanai
principlepoop: are you making fun of the lord our saviour?
Dr. Headphones: hey, all, i shaved off most of the beard, have only a small vandyke now. i think it makes me look distinguished (or extinguished?)
cease: Fumiyo hadn't been exposed to much Christian art before we landed in rome. all those bleeding crucified jesuses all over the place really grossed her out
principlepoop: his actual name was penis van lesbian
Dr. Headphones: yeah, i'm sure when he returns he won't like being reminded by seeing all them around
cease: a good vancouver name
Dexter Fong: One of the founding father/mothers
principlepoop: oops sorry, not jesus, the easter bunny is our lord saviour now
cease: ah, the mayor
Dexter Fong: .....eh..what's up God?
Dr. Headphones: heaven?
cease: golgotha?
principlepoop: thanksgiving, where we give thanks the indians did not put up a good fight
Dexter Fong: Elmer Fudd is *my* God
Dr. Headphones sings "kill the wabbit......"
principlepoop: vahalla
cease: the diety of elmertown
Dr. Headphones: fudd you and the horse you rode in on
cease: speaking of elmertown, i wonder if the lads are working on any new stuff
principlepoop: have they got new waterpipes too?
Dr. Headphones: cat: you know they are constantly doing that. the real question is whether or not they will record/release
Dexter Fong: Cat: Finally read the Buffingotn? letters re; PHil Austin...
cease: yeah, told me more about that era than i wanted to know
Dexter Fong: Cat: Heh =))
klokwkdoggobble: isn't that always the way?
cease: no, i dont know they're doing that, kend. i would hope so, but i dont know
klokwkdoggobble: BTW, RIP Vine DeLoria Jr., author of Custer Died For Your Sins
principlepoop: isn't that the way they say it goes, but give me the number so I can call
cease: i think they need dollar signs and deadlines to actually write stuff, to some extent
Dexter Fong: Kend^ My impressions is that they don't spend a lot of time together
cease: oh yes, the Indian Pope
Dr. Headphones: anyone here read any terry pratchett? i'm in the middle of "small gods" right now. quite the nice satire on religion
klokwkdoggobble: nope
principlepoop: I know the name
cease: i thik thats the case, dex
cease: ive long wanted to but never have. he has a book coweritten with neal gaiman i'd like to read
Dr. Headphones: i had funny idea other day, came out of nowhere, of mohandas k. gandhi standing over firesign theatre with whip, forcing them to write and perform
||||||||| Catherwood escorts Elayne in through the front door at 10:09 PM, picks up his cues (only slightly scorched), and heads for the billiard room.
cease: he has an orangutan character that made him of interest when i was runinig the local orangutan foundation
Elayne: Evenin' all, and happy Thanksgiving!
Tourkay: Hey E!
principlepoop: howdy E
Dr. Headphones: cat: i've read that one, can't remember name right now. not bad, but not great either, IMHO
klokwkdoggobble: an all-vegetable whip, of course
Dr. Headphones: hey el
Dexter Fong: Elayne the Blogg Queen!
||||||||| Catherwood escorts Armadillo Tweeny in through the front door at 10:09 PM, picks up his cues (only slightly scorched), and heads for the billiard room.
cease: good one, kend
cease: ah, its well fed el
Dexter Fong: Hey Tweeny
Dr. Headphones: and mr.tweeny, LTNS
klokwkdoggobble: hi Elayne, Tweeny
cease: the empress enters
principlepoop: dick army armadillo tweeny
klokwkdoggobble: steadman ought to be here, considering it's holiday
Armadillo Tweeny: That's an over-simplification...
cease: great pix on your blog, el, as usual
principlepoop: over under 10 4
Dexter Fong: Twenty seconds over Simplification
klokwkdoggobble: Dex -- I think all the guys have Real Lives now; perhaps multiple ones
Elayne: Thanks, Cat! I've had a ball today.
Dr. Headphones: soccer or base?
Dexter Fong: Klok: Depends on what you mean by *Real*
cease: looks like it.
klokwkdoggobble: I keep having this vision of one of them showing up at another's door, Belushi-style: "We're getting the band back together..."
Armadillo Tweeny: I'll bid 30!
cease: did you see that new yorker article on the history of comics, el?
Dr. Headphones: klok: we can only pray to grid you're right
principlepoop: a mission from the easter bunny
Dexter Fong: or...Hey Man, wanna paint houses in the Valley?
Elayne: Nah, Cat, I knew about it but I don't really have the time to read everything I'd like.
cease: its not my copy but i'm gonna scan and save it on my computer. can send you copy if you like
Dexter Fong: Elayne: How do you know whether or not you'd like it till you've read it
Dexter Fong: ?
cease: speaking of new yorkers, did you ever read that article i gave you about persepolis?
Armadillo Tweeny: $.50 for a bus in Austin. What are you guys doing in Van?
cease: this new article calls her the best graphic novelist.
Dr. Headphones: 50 cents for a bus? i'll take 2, please
Elayne: I would agree with that estimation, Cat.
cease: depends on how far yhoure going and when but the minimum price just to go up the street is $2.25
Armadillo Tweeny: C'mon Hesus..
Dexter Fong: The best Graphitie Artist?
cease: i loved persepolis but think sandman is the best i've seen. you of course have seen milllions more
klokwkdoggobble: those are Canadian dollars, not the boring American kind, Tweeny
Armadillo Tweeny: Don't worry 'bout me, no...
Dr. Headphones: i want one of those canadian bills with the hockey players on it :)
cease: the article is very prejudiced towards women artists and against male ego tales
Elayne: And I retain very little, Cat. :)
cease: maybe it was written by a friend of lulu
klokwkdoggobble: whazappenin', Tweeny
Armadillo Tweeny: Borrring..
klokwkdoggobble needs to go down and put salt under the lip of the garage door...
Dexter Fong 's male ego bristlews
cease: i forget names instantly but tend to remember important stuff
Dr. Headphones: klok: you put snuff under your lip, spit every so often
Elayne: I don't tend to retain fiction any more, but it's okay because I can always look stuff up again.
Dexter Fong: Klok: If you put salt under there lip, they'll roll right up
Armadillo Tweeny: Just wanted to check in with folks. You guys talk amongst yourselves. Happy Turkey Day.
cease: no, that's coke
principlepoop: i forget what I forget but I am sure it was something
klokwkdoggobble: I want it to be able to spit my car out at 5:50AM tomorrow, so I can scoot over to Staples!
Dr. Headphones: ok, mr. tween, you have great weekend
||||||||| "10:16 PM? I'm late!" exclaims Armadillo Tweeny, who then dashes out through the french doors and down through the flowerbeds.
cease: yo too, tweeny
Dexter Fong: See you later tweeny
klokwkdoggobble: nite Tweeny!
klokwkdoggobble: have a happy Holiday, you hear?
klokwkdoggobble: shucks, gone quick
principlepoop: gobble oops
cease: he may have been between activities
Dr. Headphones: i refuse to go to any sale tomorrow, especially 6am! did that once at walmart, swore "nevermore"
Dexter Fong: spoo elbbog
Elayne: I'll be celebrating Buy Nothing Day tomorrow, as Cat may suspect...
klokwkdoggobble: Ken -- you'd be too late. Wal-Mart sale starts at 5AM
cease: ADM is doing an ad celebrating truckers on the pbs newshour now
Dr. Headphones: e: i'm joining that movement too. but only because i don't want to clear the snow off the car to go anywhere
Dexter Fong: Kend^ 6 AM here is only 7 PN in China
cease: we have a friend coming in from toronto so not buying stuff is not an option
Dr. Headphones: i abhor ADM
klokwkdoggobble: Staples had a half-full parking lot last year and Dunkin Donuts coffee and donut holes for customers. Seemed very civilized
cease: its not the news, its the ADM Newshour
Dexter Fong: ADM = ?
principlepoop: I love ADM, if anybody is listening I denounce the doctor
Tourkay: Think I'll join Tween, Night Cat, Ken Dex and others..........nite Lew, where ever you are, friend.
cease: archer daniles midland?
klokwkdoggobble: Archer Daniels Midland
Dr. Headphones: archer daniels midland. giant mega-farm conglomerate
||||||||| Tourkay departs at 10:19 PM, singing "Toad away, toad away; toad away, toad away! Where do you go when you're toad away?"
cease: by tour
klokwkdoggobble: Giant agribusiness congllomerate, Dex
cease: indeed, tour
principlepoop: mega mega mega
klokwkdoggobble: Along with Cargill
Dexter Fong: Adios Tourquay
Dr. Headphones: he got away with a fare thee well. maybe next time, tourkay
principlepoop: ciao tourquay
Dr. Headphones: oops, withOUT instead of with on my last comment
cease: isnt that a gin?
principlepoop: what is the fare you said, only 50 cents?
cease: an italian gin?
Dexter Fong sings a tonic chord
principlepoop: I need one more card before I have gin
cease: have an orson
Dr. Headphones: poop: what's your address, i'll send you a christmas card ;)
klokwkdoggobble: ADM is gobbling up US crop subsidies that are supposed to go to poor family farmers, buys their crops for a song, and uses its profits to support huge factory farms in Argentina and Brazil that drive prices our few remaining non-conglomerate farmers down even farther
||||||||| Catherwood enters with Merlyn close behind, mutters something about disrupting his 10:21 PM tree-stunting plans, and scurries off to the Aviary.
Merlyn: don't bogart that indian
principlepoop: hello M
cease: we had our dog washed today. you wouldnt believe how beautiful he is now
klokwkdoggobble: happy holiday, Merlyn
Dr. Headphones: i played a game of canasta earlier. my partner and i soundly trounced our opponents
Dr. Headphones: hey merl
Dexter Fong: Klok: Soon as you mentioned the name knew/remembered what bastards they are
cease: kind of glowing white/gold
principlepoop: hello M
klokwkdoggobble: sheesh, canasta!
Dexter Fong: HI Merl
cease: hi merl. we were just talking about dogs
Elayne: Evenin' Brian!
principlepoop: I have not played canasta in about 30 years
klokwkdoggobble: Dex - they have replaced the United Fruit Company/Chiquita
Dr. Headphones: what's wrong with that, klok? a fine game that taxes the mind while depending on some luck also
principlepoop: ahhh nancy
Dexter Fong: Kend^; I know =((((
cease: i'm chiquita banana and i'm here to say....
klokwkdoggobble: oh, nothing; I just remember my parents playing Canasta; it was a big '50s craze
Dexter Fong: peel me off baby
principlepoop: an adult version of go fish
Dr. Headphones: my parents are christians, don't play cards.
klokwkdoggobble: Capablanca, the great chess grandmaster, actually found chess boring and preferred Canasta
Dexter Fong: Klkok: Bridge for the less intellectual
Dr. Headphones: dex: i used to play bridge all the time, love the game.
klokwkdoggobble: Gee, talk about elitism! ;-)
Dr. Headphones: every tuesday night, club played about 20 tables of duplicate
Dexter Fong: Kend^ If I had another life would play bridge, fascinating game
principlepoop: idle hands are the devil's den
cease: i was checking out "seniors residences" this week for my parents. the homes tour guide asked if my parents played cards
Dr. Headphones: 4NT
cease: alas, no. it would give whats left of their brains something to do
principlepoop: isn't that bridge built yet?
Dexter Fong: Most interesting ame for me lately is Texas Hold 'em
Dr. Headphones: what exactly is that, dex? i know it's a form of poker, but that's the limit of my knowledge
klokwkdoggobble: I remember the newspaper had some daily or weekly column called "_____ on Bridge", which would analyze a game each time
klokwkdoggobble: It reminded me of chess match reports
Dr. Headphones: yes, klok, omar sharif or charles goren, probably
principlepoop: lloyd
klokwkdoggobble: Ocean State Job Lot is full of Poker stuff, suddenly -- tables, card and chip sets, books, etc.
klokwkdoggobble: a good sign that it's "over", Dex ;-)
Dexter Fong: Kend: 2 down cards followed by a round of betting: 3 card flop, community bards...more betting; another card...more betting.; fifth card more bnetting...; form best hand with five out of seven cards
klokwkdoggobble: yeah, I think it was charles goren
cease: poker seems to be sweeping your country.
principlepoop: surfing the channels there 3 or 4 poker channels now
cease: of course, it's easily swept
klokwkdoggobble: what seems to be big now is that Japanese number puzzle. Lots of books of them showing up
klokwkdoggobble: it doesn't look interesting
Dexter Fong: Of all firms of poker, Hold 'em is most interesting
cease: i want math to work for me. i dont want to work for math
Elayne: I'm going to get on with my blog-reading now. Just came to wish everyone the happiest of Thanksgiving Days, and see you next week!
Merlyn: ok E
klokwkdoggobble: I sure wish Job Lot would fill up with cheap Pachinko machines. I'd like to try one of those.
cease: poker's only good for logs, in my opinion
klokwkdoggobble: happy holiday, E!
cease: you too el
principlepoop: gobble gobble E
Elayne: Night all@!
||||||||| Around 10:28 PM, Elayne walks off into the sunset...
klokwkdoggobble: nice feast in ur blog!
Dexter Fong: Hum[h: Elayne spends little time with us nowadays
cease: she has all those blog friends
klokwkdoggobble: she's never stayed very long
Dr. Headphones: klok: i spend hours doing soduko or whatever it's called
principlepoop: she went to play poker, all that talk got her blood going
||||||||| Catherwood leads Woody One inside, makes a note of the time (10:29 PM), then fades off into the distance going on about the waiting room or the sitting room or something.
Dr. Headphones: hi wood1
cease: i spend several hours a day reading online, but i much prefer books and mags
Dexter Fong: Kend^ Me 2, or at least long enough to solve the one I'm faced with
principlepoop: hello woody
cease: woody
Woody One: Howdy Pardner.
Dexter Fong: Hiya Woody
Woody One: Hey folks. Just folks. Hi.
cease: i am not interested in any games, unless the blue jays or the lakers are playing, and then only if they're winning
principlepoop: i do genealogy on the internet, like detective work
Dexter Fong complains about woodpeckers in his car
cease: that could be interesting
Woody One: Principle who?
cease: that's no woodpecker, that's phil austin
principlepoop: poop or Poop if you rather
Dexter Fong: Cat: You bet =))
Woody One: Really, Princ. That's cool. In what capacity?
cease: y'all read his Ed Woodpecker, Detective stories?
Woody One: Yeah. Weirdly cool.
principlepoop: litres or ounces
Dexter Fong: Cat: No, but was recalling the ah,Clem broadcast of last week, and Austin phoning in about woodpeckers
cease: whippedly cool?
principlepoop: hobby, i am a hobbit
cease: they were in Firezine and maybe his blog or someplace
Woody One: I remember that last time that I saw Phil Austin in this room was Thanksgiving a couple of years back. Has he shown up tonight?
cease: a bird he seems fond of
Dexter Fong: I am a Hobbit Hobbyist
cease: oh thats right, wood. who knows, he may show
cease: homo floriensis?
principlepoop: they deign sometimes?
Dexter Fong: An Orcalogist...an Ent=ymologist...
Woody One: I asked Phil about Bob & Tom. He said, "Bob and Tom who?" That was funny.
cease: bob and tom?
Dexter Fong: Woody: Bob and Tom who?
Dr. Headphones: how about bob and ray?
Woody One: The radio team
cease: dont know them
cease: them i know
Woody One: wow
Dexter Fong: How about Duckl and Bob
principlepoop: I know bob and ray, who is tom
Woody One: They're good.
Dexter Fong: I know Tom and ray, Click and clack the Tappet brothers
principlepoop: unknown in roanoke, not unusual
Dr. Headphones: poop" they are some morning drive time radio syndicated show. some rave about how good they are. i tried listening a few times and found it juvenile
Woody One: I didn't realize they may be regional.
cease: woody, are they new?
Merlyn: underag DJ's?
Woody One: I know down south, they have JohnBoy and Billy...
Dexter Fong: Wazzzzzz new......?????
principlepoop: some guy here had the big ass radio show, made a lot of jokes about behinds, I forget his name
Woody One: No. Not new. Been around for ~15 years.
principlepoop: I have heard of johnboy and billy
Dexter Fong: Bobf Ass?
Dr. Headphones: speaking of behinds, i went by sign the other day, snow had covered the first letter of "pass with care" and i found that amusing
Woody One: Well...J & B suck. I think.
cease: bob and ray were what, 40s, 50s?
Dexter Fong: I remember Big John and Sparky "No School Today Keds"
Woody One: A bad countryfied version of B & T.
Dr. Headphones: cat: worked well into 60s and 70s, i believe
cease: yes they had a long career
principlepoop: yes they did
Dexter Fong: Cat: B&R were 50's, and 60's, and some 70's
cease: are they both dead?
Dr. Headphones: one is, but can't tell you which one
principlepoop: I always thought of bob newhart listening to them
cease: the big one
Woody One: Bob Elliot
Dexter Fong: R is dead, Bob Elliot still alive as is his son, Chris Elliot
cease: i can see that, poop
Dr. Headphones: yep, that's it, chris' dad
Woody One: is or was Chris Elliot's dad
cease: saw elliot on some tv show, plugginghis book. he looked around my age
Dexter Fong: Chris's dead...Kend, are you sure?
klokwkdoggobble: they got divorced?
Woody One: He was on that show Get a Life with him.
Dr. Headphones: chris isn't dead unless it's extremely recent
klokwkdoggobble: no, Chris is alive
cease: chirs? yes his dad was in that
Dexter Fong: Christ Lives...thank God
Dr. Headphones: he could have ODed on tryptophan today, who knows?
cease: not necesarily
Woody One: Did Bob die? Not sure.
principlepoop: don't forget the H
klokwkdoggobble: Dex isn't reading Ken's posts closely
Merlyn: so chris elliot is the son of half of a comedy team, while ben stiller is the son of a whole comedy team
klokwkdoggobble: Bob lives I think
klokwkdoggobble: if you say so, Merlyn
cease: and Nino is a son of a hole
Dr. Headphones: we can forgive dex after all that 12 year old single malt he's imbibed today ;)
Dexter Fong: I think Bob lives, therfore I live
principlepoop: should be single at 12
klokwkdoggobble: according to IMDB, he's alive and has been since late 1929
cease: only for subgeniuses
Merlyn: an underage single malt
Dr. Headphones: i had no liquor or any other mind-numbing substances today except 2 pieces of cheesecake
cease: i dont even remember being single
principlepoop: 1929 was late? 1928 ran long?
Dexter Fong remembers seeing Cat alone
cease: even though i still wear clothes from that distant era
Dr. Headphones: i remember seeing cat ballou, NOT starring wally ballou
klokwkdoggobble: poop -- 1928 went into overtime before it was decided...
cease: we dont travel together much, we just live together
Dexter Fong: afk for liquid re-markeable
cease: wally ballou, that was bob/ray character. great stuff
principlepoop: they called it sudden death back then, now it is sudden victory
cease: that was jane fonda, as i recall
Woody One: They always change the good names..
cease: or maybe it was ho chi minh
klokwkdoggobble: cat - is the one who said that?
Dr. Headphones: poop: speaking of renamed things, i saw condom machine in bathroom the other day, selling "freedom ticklers" as opposed to the old "french" variety. festooned with american flags and fireworks
principlepoop: yes, department of war was a better name
klokwkdoggobble: Yeah, Woody -- let's change it back to the War Department
cease: lol kend
Dr. Headphones: the best defense is a good offense
principlepoop: great minds ahh you know the rest
klokwkdoggobble: Ken - a dead giveaway that they're made in China
principlepoop: and freedom fries, super
Dr. Headphones: klok: probably. and i wouldn't trust my health and life to any chinese birth/disease control device such as that
klokwkdoggobble once bought a "US Drives" CD-ROM unit for the computer. Box was festooned with US flags everywhere. It was totally Chinese.
principlepoop: from department of war, to department of defense to department of imperialism
Woody One: Night, folks. A long day of stuffing and getting stuffed. Happy Thanksgiving.
||||||||| "10:46 PM? I'm late!" exclaims Woody One, who then scurries out through the french doors and down through the flowerbeds.
Dr. Headphones: later, wood1, take care
principlepoop: gobble gobble woody
cease: same to you, wood
klokwkdoggobble: and coming soon: the Evil Empire Mall!
klokwkdoggobble: One-stop shopping for your World Domination needs!
principlepoop: but with high definition tv with 50,000 channels
Dr. Headphones: hey, how many beatles references are on "HCYB"? i found 3 the last time i listened, but can't remember them all. coo coo cha coo, i'm so tired, and something else
cease: shadow valley condoms
cease: i think proctor posted the total number on an early planet proctor
Dexter Fong: Shallow Valet Condoms
cease: if you lived here, you'd be a dead sperm
Dr. Headphones: ah, is there an archive of those? will have to look
cease: 8 or 9 i htink
Merlyn: heh
principlepoop: hehe he said shadow valley hehe
cease: although his explanation of at least one of them sounded alittle suspect
Dr. Headphones: cat: forgiven since they were probably high when they did it anyway
cease: thats not a valley, that's my wife
cease: indeed, kend
Dexter Fong: A little suspect? The midget got away with it, and I was left holding his bag
cease: a shadow moves over ther land would be perfect tonight
Dr. Headphones: dex: the one with the pickle?
klokwkdoggobble: dunno; kind of get the impression that they get their high working with each other and that any chemical stuff might actually get in the way
principlepoop: hehe I said furrow hehe
Dr. Headphones: perhaps right, klok. i know i thought i got it all when i was stoned, but heard so much more when straight
Dexter Fong: Kend^ The one with the little pickle, the cocheron
cease: excepting alice
cease: that was about a thanksgiving dinner too
Dr. Headphones: cat: someone sent me the entire lyrics of "alice's restaurant" for thanksgiving today. i read it and laughed
cease: that couldnt be beat
cease: funny song
cease: better than the flick
klokwkdoggobble: Ken -- oh, the optimum working condition for a listener is another matter entirely!!
principlepoop: a different world
Dr. Headphones: he has never developed any symptoms of huntington's chorea, has he?
cease: somtimes he sings, sometimes he sobs
klokwkdoggobble: still out there playing
cease: not that's been in the press
cease: i thk heplayed vancouver recently
Dexter Fong: Kend^ He partook of the first Act of Huintingtons, Chorea in C Negative
klokwkdoggobble: gonna go put together a quick snack, bak shortly
Dr. Headphones: dex: that's C minus, i believe
cease: chick and arlo, together again for the first time
principlepoop: turkey sandwich already?
Dr. Headphones: snack? i'll be having turkey sandwiches for a week now
Dexter Fong: Gobble Koclwkgodoggle
cease: snack, its better than smack!
Dexter Fong: Kend^ Try Turkey Tetrazini
Dr. Headphones: wouldn't know, cat, never tried the latter. had the option a couple times, but wisely passed it up.
principlepoop: give me a smack and i'll smack you back
Dr. Headphones: tetra is a fish, isn't it? i don't mix fish and poultry
cease: youve never had a snack? thats odd
principlepoop: and no dairy, it is not kosher
Dexter Fong: Tetra is a fish, Zini is pasta...Tetrazini is fish shaped pasta
Dr. Headphones: i'm not kosher either
cease: all these junkies wandering around downtown, looking for alleys to fix in.
principlepoop: I thought zini was the warrior princess
cease: anyone who saw that and became a junkie is beyond my imaginiation
Dr. Headphones: poop: i preferred gabrielle, the sidekick. much cuter, i thought
principlepoop: hell yes
Dexter Fong: Cat: Saw what?
Dr. Headphones: although seeing lucy lawless have her tit pop out at that hockey game was a sight to see :)
cease: theres a particular part of vancouver, the downtown eastside, which is crawling with junkies. literally crawling
principlepoop: lucy braless hehe
Dexter Fong: Gives new meaning to the word "Icing"
cease: oding in the alleys, needles in veins
Dr. Headphones: cold makes them babies stand right up and salute!
cease: saluting babies? you ARE in america!
Dr. Headphones: i'm lusting in my heart again. forgive me, jesus
Dr. Headphones: it's ok, i threw a towel over it and did some pushups
Dexter Fong: Lucy Lawless put in the box for Hooking
principlepoop: move to dover and wait for your punishment ken
cease: the white cliffs of delaware?
Dexter Fong: Or come to NYC and get punished right away
klokwkdoggobble: what hockey game?? :-)
Dr. Headphones: years ago, dex, she was singing "star spangled banner" or something like that
principlepoop: or roanoke for hell on earth
Dr. Headphones: and isn't she a kiwi?
Dexter Fong: Klok: The Hockey game between the old gods and the new ones
klokwkdoggobble: moving to dover IS punishment coming
klokwkdoggobble: definitely kiwi
cease: i think neal gaimans' running out of ideas
klokwkdoggobble: but she married the director
cease: or else he's been in minnesota too long
principlepoop: the gods have lost their way
Dexter Fong: Cat: tell him to stop buy, we've got lots of them
klokwkdoggobble: being in Minnesota IS too long...
Dr. Headphones: poop: they forgot to leave a trail of breadcrumbs
cease: his books (etc etf) are all about battles between gods, old vs new, etc
Merlyn: I resemble that!
principlepoop: somebody used the breadcrumbs for stuffing
cease: i thought he left england to get some american inspiration. now maybe he should move to japan
Dexter Fong: ...and the stuffing for bread
Dr. Headphones: the inventor of stove-top stuffing died last week
||||||||| Catherwood enters the room, strikes a gong, and bellows "THE TIME IN NEW YORK IS 11 O'CLOCK", then silently exits.
Dr. Headphones: merl: set his clock!
cease: stuffing must have been invented by the poor
Dexter Fong: Your'e an idiot Cathewood
Merlyn: I can't, it's the system clock
cease: something to do with stale bread
principlepoop: i think so cat
principlepoop: ahh overthrow the system
Merlyn: I can't change the server clock
Dr. Headphones: cat: i like bread pudding with a nice sauce on top also
cease: yes, thats good too
Dr. Headphones: can you write some code to offset it?
Dexter Fong: Merl: Then you should come on after each C-Wood announcement with the correct time
Dr. Headphones: not that we really care, since we all have our own clocks too and know what time it really is
principlepoop: but poor catherwood is in his own space and time
||||||||| Catherwood says "It's 11:02 PM"
Dexter Fong: Kend^ DOes anybody really know what time it is?
klokwkdoggobble: Merlyn -- is the server owner not sympathetic?
Dr. Headphones: they do in chicago
klokwkdoggobble: Dex - only in Chicago
Dr. Headphones: the server owner should find out about the "autoset" function you can turn on
Merlyn: I can write code for an offset (and I do for 1-hr time zone problems with indiana vs. NY), but it's harder to add to things like the reaper
Dr. Headphones: i drove through chicago at 3am last week, didn't have to slow down for anything. just set the cruise and went
principlepoop: i think it is saturday, in the park, maybe the 4th of jul
Dr. Headphones: merl: don't worry about it
Merlyn: I keep telling him to install an auto-clock sync in a cron job
principlepoop: lose sleep M, obsess, worry, even fidget
Merlyn: I figure he will eventually, so I haven't bothered with time adjusts
Dexter Fong can't remember the last crom job he had
Dr. Headphones: and i believe indiana will be "normal" next year, i seem to recall their general assembly voted to go on daylight next year
Dr. Headphones: but some of the eastern section of the state is fighting to become central. it's all up to sec. of transporation now, just had hearings last week
principlepoop: that is because you move your car all the time fong
Dexter Fong: Kend^ Too late!! We're going on double daylight
klokwkdoggobble: Merlyn -- maybe you should tell him differently, as in "Do you know if Vizaweb servers have more accurate clocks?" ;-)
Merlyn: we're all going on Catherwood[TM] time
||||||||| Catherwood says "It's 11:05 PM, precisely!"
Dr. Headphones: dex: i heard tom and ray talking about that a few weeks ago
cease: what is that firesign line, double golden slasher time, or something like that
Merlyn: he's a friend of doc's, we get the webspace really cheap
cease: i wonder where doc and lili are tonight
klokwkdoggobble: oh
Dr. Headphones: i wonder HOW lili is?
klokwkdoggobble: i'm sure they're having a good time
Dexter Fong: Cat: Yes...has to do with overtime pay for techies and other non on-screen staff
principlepoop: time and the calender are manmade devices to control us, I will have a meeting about a revolt in the future
Dr. Headphones: time and tide wait for no man
klokwkdoggobble: while they're at it, we should switch to the 5th era Mayan calendar
Dexter Fong: All aboard the SS Canute...sailing whenever for whatever
Dr. Headphones: klok: that will come in 2012, december, i think
klokwkdoggobble: now that's a way to make hay while the sun shines
klokwkdoggobble: everyone ready to move my throne?
Dexter Fong: and at midnight too with Mutant Blue
cease: i think if there was any change in lili's situationi, we'd be informed
principlepoop: I thought it sailed on 6/6/6 at 6:06:6
Dr. Headphones: or a way to make moonshine while the hay grows?
klokwkdoggobble: we sure don't get informed much
Dexter Fong: pp is a witch..burn and hang him
Dr. Headphones: dex: in that order?
klokwkdoggobble: happens all the time, Ken
cease: hey boy, wuttcha doin over in the slave quarters
cease: nothin pa, just getting rid of some nickels and dimes
principlepoop: don't scorch me, use a low temperature and meat thermometer
Dexter Fong: Kend^ Yes..after the burning, less wieght, can use less thick rope
Dr. Headphones: remember cartoon from years ago. viking on top of charred corpse, another one says, "no, first you rape, then you pillage, then you burn"
principlepoop: being a crispy critter will make me look like the good ole days, yassir
Dr. Headphones: yassir is dead
principlepoop: that was really ringo
principlepoop: arafat took ringo's place
Dexter Fong wonders if anyone here remembers/knows about the philosophy of the dog:"If you can't eat it or fuck it, piss on it"?
Dr. Headphones: so paul is the only one left alive?
cease: yosarrian has dissappeared
Dr. Headphones: yosarrian is VP of marketing at halliburton
cease: sounds like the us, dex
cease: oh thats right
principlepoop: paul died first
Dr. Headphones: but the walrus was reincarnated
Dexter Fong: Cat: I read/heard it someplace sometime ago but can't remember exactly where/who
principlepoop: remember the sargent pepper band album with the hand over his head, and bare feet
Dr. Headphones: well, dear friends, i must needs to go to kitchen, do some cleanup before bedtime. take care, dear friends, and will see you all again when it's possible
principlepoop: nobody has mentioned bush and his exit strategy
cease: keep em kending
principlepoop: gobble gobble ken
||||||||| Dr. Headphones is forcibly ejected just as the clock strikes 11:16 PM.
Dexter Fong: Kend^ Hope to see you soon =))
cease: i thikn its called election day, 2006, poop
klokwkdoggobble: nite Ken
principlepoop: he could resign
klokwkdoggobble: Dex - you could Google it, also search groups
cease: pigs could fly
Dexter Fong: pp: Not till god tells him to
principlepoop: his poll number are approaching nixons
Dexter Fong: pp: THat good?
cease: his handlers still run the country. i cant see that changing any time soon
principlepoop: yes, not indictable, yet....
principlepoop: yes, I have been reading that, even clinton had to do things to please the 'powers'
Dexter Fong: Need a Democrat SAenate.
principlepoop: yes
Dexter Fong: , and even ore important a democrat House
klokwkdoggobble: need a democratic country
principlepoop: cutting foodstamps to give tax cuts to millionaires, they have no shame
cease: indeed
Dexter Fong: klok: Other that the massive voter fraud, we've got one...just need a better media
principlepoop: people who crawl through all the hoops to get foodstamps are not fooling around about needing food
klokwkdoggobble: poop - why? the millionaires never wanted to pay for those food stamps; makes sense
cease: just read article in ny review called The End of News by Micahel Massing
cease: on how the right wing has taken over the infosphere in the us
principlepoop: you are right klok, but if the poor and decent people vote....
Dexter Fong collects Food stamps, the 1998 inverted Turkey stamp is now worth millions
cease: the combination buisness oligarchs, xtian zealots and well placed con men are running yhour country
klokwkdoggobble: it won't matter poop -- they've rigged the voting districts and the vote counting
cease: and the news that would affect people to vote against them is supressed
Dexter Fong: Cat: Don't worry, we'll be running yours soon
cease: tehre already a lot of that
Dexter Fong: Cat: YOu Commie farmers are through!!
cease: cnada has little soreinity, unlike, say, Venezuela
klokwkdoggobble: that's right Dex -- you canadians better take a long hard look at what happened to Saddam
principlepoop: stop stop it, I have seen those computer machines at work, in a small town election the woman knew that 5 of her family had voted for her but the machine showed no votes for her
principlepoop: they just said oops, not a problem lool
cease: yes, your "democracy" is a thing of the past
klokwkdoggobble: we see how you oppress your people, denying the suffering sick all that surgery so that they must come here to the free, privatized USA for help
Dexter Fong: pp: Well that's because the woman's High Q was low
Merlyn: logging out folks, see you next week, and keep circulating those indians
klokwkdoggobble: nite merlyn!
cease: by merl
principlepoop: I just heard that the workers at wal-mart are often eligible for medicaid and are directed to sign up for it and food stamps by wal-mart people
Dexter Fong: Come to America experience Laser surgery....see how great America is
cease: is that in the flick?
||||||||| At 11:25 PM, the lights go out! Rocky Rococo's voice pierces the inky darkness: "I've got you now, Merlyn!" Shattering glass is heard, and then the lights come back on...
principlepoop: my blood pressure is up now, toodles
||||||||| principlepoop leaves to catch the 11:25 PM train to Billville.
cease: poop
Dexter Fong: pp has gone to Wal=Mart
cease: now as soon as we leave, austin wil show up
Dexter Fong: Cat: Wanna bet? =))
cease: i thikn the austins are with family and or friends
klokwkdoggobble: nite poop
Dexter Fong: or with agents of the state
Dexter Fong: Thing that pisses me off is I'm parked good for tomorrow already and they'res nobody here
Dexter Fong: excepting you good selves
klokwkdoggobble: sorry
klokwkdoggobble: now we R three
Dexter Fong: I know Klok...Apology accpeted and thankfully
cease: lol dex
Dexter Fong: Thanks Cat =))
cease: parking is always such an issue, and source of humour for the rest of us non-parkers
Dexter Fong: Understood Cat:
cease: i recently got involved with another chat, this one with webcams, though i dont have one
cease: i wonder if we could do that?
cease: merl has left, he would know
klokwkdoggobble with no animals to care for, brings his car into his house with him
cease: new technology of something
Dexter Fong: Well I don't have a web cam..not planning to get one either
cease: you have a camcorder?
klokwkdoggobble: sometimes digital still cameras can be used
klokwkdoggobble: the problem is bandwidth, and also grooming
cease: yes my new digitla still camera says it can be
Dexter Fong: lol klok
klokwkdoggobble does not want to dress up for FST chat
cease: indeed
Dexter Fong dresses down for chat
cease: i owuld never chat with a camera on myself.
klokwkdoggobble: not in this freezing cold, but the rest of the year, prefers the "fine underwear" look
cease: i'm not even interested in looking at others
Dexter Fong: Klok: The Munsingwear Man?
klokwkdoggobble: LOL
cease: more a way of passing on visual information in realtime
Dexter Fong: Cat: I dunno, always interested in what Kend^ looked like =))
klokwkdoggobble: more like the "I don't give a s***" look
cease: my editing cvourse finishes next week and i'm thinking of projects to get into to practice new skills
cease: i'm thinking of going back to the Oona Gets a Job project i started, putting firesign lines and my own script to images from our euro trip.
Dexter Fong: afk for refill etc......
klokwkdoggobble: cat - there is some way to have a whiteboard to scribble on and also some way to pin things to a bulletin board in some meetingware systems
cease: i promised pa i'd give it to them in feb and its almost end of year
klokwkdoggobble: cat - did you have a look at that Pixel Corps site?
cease: no but i will
cease: i relaly dont want to have to learn anything new until i get a handle on this final cut software
cease: its labour intensive, which is good. an antidote to lassitude
klokwkdoggobble: they have to edit, add slides/animation overlays, compress & put those hour 3-camera videos out in 3 days or less
cease: oh that thing you sent me? yes i saw that. did i reply? i think its great
cease: if i were into a career, like most of my fellow students, that wouldbe the way to go
Dexter Fong: Lassitude? I never been in Lassitude!
klokwkdoggobble: the web page link, the place where they teach those who already know some about video production a whole lot more and provide a virtual community to share ideas and information
cease: i mistook pixel for pixar in your query
klokwkdoggobble: oh
cease: horse lassitudes, where jim morrison fell in love with a filly
Dexter Fong: Chant filly lace and a big disgrace
klokwkdoggobble: of course, I only see the results they make for This Week in Tech. But I have learned quite a bit about the "industry" as I've watched them struggle to make better-quality product using students and trainees
Dexter Fong: Better Technology thru peasantry
klokwkdoggobble: I think it was the previous video or maybe last week's audio where Leo LaPorte gave out some of the economics of the entire Tech TV channel
klokwkdoggobble: the part about having to pay cable operators to carry the channel was news to me
Dexter Fong: Nothin's for free Little Beaver
klokwkdoggobble: sounds like starting a cable channel about anything requires about US$500M up front; maybe as much as $3Bn
Dexter Fong: Stay stuned for Channel 85 listeners
klokwkdoggobble: this is where video podcasts begin to nibble away at the mainstream broadcasts: everyone stops watching general stuff that is "sort of" what they want to see and goes to watching downloadable stuff that is "exactly" what they want to see
cease: ok im on phone
klokwkdoggobble: yes, that's OK with me
klokwkdoggobble: remaining problem is finding the funds to pay for the bandwith needed to send that stuff around
Dexter Fong: Klok: Phone is *OK* or podcastare *OK*?
klokwkdoggobble: yes
klokwkdoggobble got a new phone Wed, BTW
Dexter Fong: Klok: Me 2
Dexter Fong: What's your name, I'll look up your number
klokwkdoggobble: I think I know why it was in Job Lot for $29. I nearly ended up shouting "Tech Support! Tech Support!"
klokwkdoggobble: it's under Rafael Sabatini TEmple 33614
Dexter Fong: TS ELiot = Tech Support Eliot
klokwkdoggobble: is he the half-brother of Chris Eliot?
Dexter Fong: Simon TEmplar?
Dexter Fong: The Saint?
klokwkdoggobble: The phone is a Bell South cordless with answering machine and 15-character alphanumeric dialing directory
Dexter Fong never dials Aplphametrics
klokwkdoggobble: It's programmed in SMS English. You know, press the '2' once for 'a', twice for 'b', thrice for 'c' or again for '2"...
Dexter Fong: Let them call me
klokwkdoggobble: each thing - like setting the ringer volume, requires pushing about seven buttons in a sequence that's shown in a kind of flowchart in the instructions
Dexter Fong: instructions = instrusions
klokwkdoggobble: that's fine, Dex, but only if you can hear the ringer or managed to turn on the answering machine
klokwkdoggobble: ...and learn how to listen to the messages before the mailbox fills up
Dexter Fong: Ringer? I spell my namd Dinger...or is it Regnad
klokwkdoggobble: the worst of it is -- all those multi-step instructions are in tiny print and the phone times out each function after 10 seconds of inactivity
klokwkdoggobble: so you sit there squinting at the flowchart and finally read the line and...you're already cancelled and back at "go" again
Dexter Fong: Klok: I'll betcha that phone is either Japaneses or Chinese...they do em that way cause thay know they can drive us round eyes crazy
klokwkdoggobble: the advantage is that the answering machine can be run from/thru the handset. In fact, I've already activated it 4 or 5 times by mistake :-(
Dexter Fong: Klokwkdog...another Victim of Technology
Dexter Fong: Blinded by Science
klokwkdoggobble: Dex - nah, it's some programmer like me showing off. They could've made a 'regular' phone with memory. You know, to dial Jerry's number, press the 'M' button and the numeral 4. You tape a list on the back of the handset: "Jerry=4", etc.
cease: still here?
cease: phone call from my parents. their gas is about to be cut off
Dexter Fong: still there?
klokwkdoggobble: no, Cat, we both left
cease: i thought so
Dexter Fong: Cat: Why the cut off?
klokwkdoggobble: icrophone orking?
cease: didnt pay gas bill
cease: thats why i had to go to la in january
Dexter Fong: Well...there's cause and effect
cease: i thought i had that set up. obvoiusly not
cease: they fired their care giver last week so they are careless and clueless
Dexter Fong: and giving
klokwkdoggobble: they didn't like him?
cease: i have to forcemyeself not to add "in gaza"
cease: no, financial worries
Dexter Fong sings Inna Garden of Gazza"
Dexter Fong: the extra "Z" is for extra sleep
cease: sheep entrails?
cease: now we can make whiskey
Dexter Fong: Happy Entrails to you
cease: entrsails entrails read all about it!
Dexter Fong: Wuxtry! Wuxtry! Read all about it! Sheep entrails lead to big mystery!
Dexter Fong: Blind Newsboy arrested for close contact with ewe
cease: is that an idiolectic pronuncation of "extra" as in extra edition of the paper or does it have another meaning?
Dexter Fong: Kasimer Kashmir says US soft on cri me
||||||||| Catherwood walks in wearing his pyjamas, yawns, and mumbles "It's midnight here in New York city"...then he falls over and starts snoring loudly..
Dexter Fong: Fuck you Catherwood
||||||||| Catherwood answers "Eat it raw, SIR!"
cease: Crimean War ends. Crime War begins
Dexter Fong: Hoover vows clean sweep of Crimelords
klokwkdoggobble: amen
klokwkdoggobble: shazam!
cease: bmen, cmen
Dexter Fong: Billy Batson, seemingly crippled newsboy turns into Captaim Equinox...costume doesn't fit
cease: lol
cease: l-men
klokwkdoggobble: lean on us?
Dexter Fong: Elementalmen...I'm Phosphorus Boy
cease: clean clean clean
cease: bree bree bree
Dexter Fong: Bree Bree Bree all the way home
cease: you must be from fallujah. here, have a date
Dexter Fong: Phosphorus buy had a date...got pregnant...no more dates
klokwkdoggobble: well, I'm dragging here; not keeping up my end of the conversation
klokwkdoggobble: so perhaps I should wing on
Dexter Fong: Are you Blogging Kolk?
cease: phosphorous boys get pregnant? how ursula k leguinian
klokwkdoggobble: I'm just drifting into the fog...no blog involved
klokwkdoggobble: I gotta get up at 5:30AM (not that I'll go to sleep immediately now)
cease: fog: natures' blog
Dexter Fong: K = Elemental table for Phosphorus
cease: things go better with kolkacola
Dexter Fong: Things burn faster with phosphorus
klokwkdoggobble had forgotten his periodic table
cease: thats why he's so mean
klokwkdoggobble has been getting meaner over the years, unfortunately not leaner
Dexter Fong: Phosphorus boy has elemental table with pull out leaf for atomic elements
klokwkdoggobble: and mean in every sense of the word...
klokwkdoggobble: did you see that at Ikea?
cease: what do mean by That?
klokwkdoggobble: whaddaya mean by that?
Dexter Fong: Klok: Mean as in about half way in every population sample?
klokwkdoggobble: more like in as a churchmouse...
Dexter Fong: A non-gay churchmouse
klokwkdoggobble doesn't think any of them are doing so hot...
Dexter Fong thinks they're all waiting for the next baby boom
klokwkdoggobble always wonders who "they" are...
Dexter Fong: They are Pope Miss Thing the First
Dexter Fong: Seems like that quieted the room
cease: ok, i too must attend to other things. tell me if you cant open the word file, dex.
cease: have a pleasent whats left of your holiday.
Dexter Fong: Will do Cat
cease: see you next week
Dexter Fong: You too my friend
||||||||| cease leaves to catch the 12:14 AM train to Funfun Town.
klokwkdoggobble: happy holidays, Cat
klokwkdoggobble: night Dex
Dexter Fong: Happy Holidays to you too Klok, =))
klokwkdoggobble: can't catch anyone before they leave tonight!
klokwkdoggobble: thanks, Dex
klokwkdoggobble: I'm outta here
Dexter Fong: You can catch me klok
Dexter Fong: Bye Bye
klokwkdoggobble: have a happy Thanksgiving, Dex
klokwkdoggobble: and good night!
klokwkdoggobble: bye
||||||||| "Hey klokwkdoggobble!" ... klokwkdoggobble turns, and sees Bradshaw approching with the handcuffs, and is dragged away, screaming "it's only 12:16 AM, I don't have to go yet!"...
Dexter Fong: You too Klok: I'm outta here
||||||||| It's 12:30 PM, and that means it's time to play BEAT THE REAPER! And here's how our contestants did:
||||||||| Dexter Fong - dead from the common cold
||||||||| Better luck next time! And now, back to our chatroom, which is already in progress...
||||||||| Catherwood enters, and announces to all and sundry "It's 4:32 AM, time to change the log file and clean out unused rooms; please exit the chat room for a minute or two. Thank you for your patience."

The Evening's Participants:
Armadillo Tweeny
Dexter Fong
Dr. Headphones
Woody One
URL References:

Rogue's Gallery:

cat_pp.jpg (5168 bytes)
PP and Cat(cease)

newbunny.jpg (4426 bytes)

capeklok.jpg (5469 bytes)

capeken.jpg (7639 bytes)
kend^/Dr. Headphones

freq.jpg (4441 bytes)

ossman+me.gif (6000 bytes)
Merlyn and Tirebiter

capedoc.jpg (6006 bytes)

newlili.jpg (6085 bytes)

roto.jpg (6046 bytes)

babs_so.jpg (5555 bytes)
LeatherG & SO

nino1.jpg (5352 bytes)

tonk1.jpg (6123 bytes)

ahclem+Bambi.jpg (9500 bytes)
Ah, Clem and Bambi

old-man.gif (55478 bytes)
Compañero Señor Yämamoto

ashhar.jpg (9068 bytes)
Dexter Fong

newelayne.jpg (15.1 kbytes)

Bubba's Brain.jpg (6600 bytes)
Bubba's Brain

Bightrethighrehighre.jpg (6600 bytes)

boney.jpg (20600 bytes)

llan.jpg (13200 bytes)

peggy.jpg (5240 bytes)
Peggy Blisswhips

audrey.jpg (4873 bytes)
Audrey Farber

tdt.jpg (6077 bytes)
Tiny Dr. Tim
Rest In Peace, Dear Friend

And, "The Home Team"