Papoon Warns About "Ballot Box Of Danger"
HELLMOUTH: George Papoon, Surrealist candidate for president, warned voters about the "ballot box of danger" that could be opened, Pandora-like, by today's stolen election.
"I'm telling you right now that even as I'm standing here, I'm also voting in East Crankshank, Alabama, through massive voter fraud. How can I be in two places at once when I'm not anywhere at all?"
Papoon, still champaigning furiouser and furiouser, got on his bus and floored everyone by flooring it and heading to Bozeman, Montana. "I think we're all Bozemen on this bus" quipped a weary but enthusiastic Papoon. "We can vote there and continue this fraud down the road, again."
Once in Bozeman, everyone disembarked; not a tree was spared. But the polling places were all dark and shut down. "We're waiting for the electorate, or someone like him" said the local voting judge.
"This election is between an unethical shyster and a profligate spender; give me immorality or give me debt!" shouted Papoon from the rooftops. "It's time for a boom, not bust!"
"Don't be afraid of the giant Democrat of Sumatra, or the uncrushed dwarf who plies us with promises!" continued Papoon. "Everyone they know is wrong!"
"It's time to beat or be beaten! Fight the fighting clowns and put their lawyers in a hospital, or in the next ward, you're on your own! Choose for industry! Dear folks, we're just friends, do everythynge you want to!"
"Papoon for President! NOT INSANE!"