A Firesign Chat


||||||||| Catherwood re-enters the Waiting Room and explains "This is the main discussion room which is logged each night."
||||||||| Catherwood announces, "The time is 4:33 AM - I now declare Thursday's chat log for April 02, 2009 officially open!"... and then, he retires back to the vestibule...
||||||||| "4:36 AM? 4:36 AM!!" says Catherwood, "Paranoid Wormhead Relaxes should be here by now...oh, THERE you are!" as Paranoid Wormhead Relaxes enters and sits on the couch.
Paranoid Wormhead Relaxes: http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/29970168/
Conficker is so damaging that Microsoft has placed a bounty, offering $250,000 for information leading to the capture of those responsible for creating it.
Conficker worm reaches go time, to no effect!
||||||||| Catherwood says "4:37 AM, time for SOMEONE to leave!", grabs Paranoid Wormhead Relaxes by the collar and gives 'em the old bum's rush out the door
||||||||| Catherwood strides up and pipes up "Presenting 'Firebailed-out', just granted probation at 5:33 AM", then leaves hurriedly.
Firebailed-out: Attention!

This is Prince Arcturus!
Men of the Federation, whereever you are!
I am now in command!
It was useless to send Mark Time and his redheaded friend to spy on me!

They have been captured
and languish in caves of methane ice,
a thousand miles below my fortified palace!

You must surrender,
Men of the Federation!

I, Prince Arcturus, command it!

Firebailed-out: Yes, Friends, welcome to Pastor Flash’s our of Reckoning,
with Organ Leroy at his organ again,
and the Fifty-Voice St. Louis Aquarium Choir.
I’m Decon E. L. Mouse.

But, Dear Friends in these days of modern time,
when you can’t tell the AC’s from the DC’s,
well aren’t we all yearning for someone who can turn on a little stopping power?

Dear Friends, I mean a smokey glass.
Don’t you think I mean a lightning rod
with which to chase these spooks away?
Don’t you know I mean our own Pastor Rod Flash!

He’s been up for a week,

but he’s coming down!

Firebailed-out: Just like Dexter Fong . . . . .???
||||||||| Firebailed-out rushes off, saying "5:36 AM? Mark Time is almost on! Where's a radio?"
||||||||| Catherwood strides in with a trumpet, plays a fanfare, and proclaims "Nine PM on Thursday, April 02, 2009 - I now declare alt.comedy.firesgn-thtre's chat officially open!" -- then he looks around at the empty room, looks at his watch, and mumbles "...am I early?"
||||||||| Catherwood tiptoes into the room, and intones "Announcing 'Principalpoop', also known as 'Nancy' -- the time is 9:10 PM" -- then he slowly retires back into the sitting room...
Principalpoop: where is everyone catherwood?
||||||||| Catherwood snubs Principalpoop
||||||||| 9:12 PM: cease jumps out of the hall closet saying "I've been listening to all of you talking about me for the past hour!"
||||||||| Gusts of wind blow in from outside and the thumpa-thumpa-thumpa of helicopter blades is heard as Happy Panditt's chopper lands on the lawn and Dexter Fong gets out at 9:12 PM.
Principalpoop: shall loam?
cease: fire, poop, dex?
Dexter Fong: See, I came down just like Broiled said I would
Principalpoop: hi canada
cease: i thought you wouldn't be here tonight, fong
Dexter Fong: Hi Cat, how are you feeling?
Dexter Fong: And hi also poop
Principalpoop: hard broiled?
Dexter Fong: Cat: Got my thursdays mixed up, it's next week I'll be late or absent
Dexter Fong: Fire Broiled
Principalpoop: those moon based religions confuse me too
cease: i'm on day 3 of no intoxicants before operation tomorrow morning
Dexter Fong: Prince Arcturus lives on the moon
cease: 3 more days after that too.
Principalpoop: how is reality?
Dexter Fong: Cat: So your coming down also
cease: oddly sunny, poop
cease: wich moon?
Dexter Fong: Well, the least I can do is enough intoxicants for the two of us
Principalpoop: that is called dts cat, delirium something
cease: i'm spending as much on fruit juice as i was on wine so i'm not saving any money
Dexter Fong: tremens
cease: actually it's called the sun, dex. we dont see it here often
Principalpoop: i typed that, it did not look right, but thanks
cease: i'm sure my liver is happy
Principalpoop: your liver thinks your throat is blocked
cease: found an excellent juice from south africa. apple, cranberry and ginger. delicious
Principalpoop: that does sound good
cease: reminds me a bit of vernor's ginger ale, which i havent had in at least 40 years
Dexter Fong: Sounds like CNI is on again
cease: one of my fave childhood beverages
cease: is it? nothing above it above
Principalpoop: it
Dexter Fong: Clem's having problems so have to access it from real player, or Winamp or whatever,,,actually not sure he's broadcasting
Principalpoop: leo on cni
Dexter Fong: ah, thanks poop
Principalpoop: give us the details of the operation cat
Dexter Fong: Cut along dotted line
Dexter Fong: Insert Tab "A" into slot "B"
cease: next week, you can ask me, "what has happened to your nose?"
Principalpoop: a friend of mine had a ring put on this esophagas last year, he lost over 100 pounds
Principalpoop: he is having excess skin removed next week
cease: it starts at 730 am and is supposed to last 8 hours, though much of that will be spent waiting
Dexter Fong: From the neck up?
cease: i was told to bring a book, and a bag lunch.
Principalpoop: getting a new nose?
cease: no, just getting rid of basal cell carcinoma on my current nose
Dexter Fong: Getting Michael Jackson's old nose?
cease: i had the same operation on my wrist 6 years ago, but nose is much more frightening
Principalpoop: i have a pimple sort of thing that never goes away on my nose
cease: he probably left it at my old highschool, dex
Dexter Fong: I had one under my eye
Principalpoop: get a metal nose, that would be cool
cease: he attended it some years after i graduated. dont know how old he is
Dexter Fong: Like in Cat Ballou?
Principalpoop: yes
cease: so you said, dex. i hope my anaesthetics are as good as yours
Principalpoop: fun movie
||||||||| "9:24 PM? 9:24 PM!!" says Catherwood, "llanwydd should be here by now...oh, THERE you are!" as llanwydd enters and sits in the comfy chair.
Principalpoop: hi llan
Dexter Fong: hey llan
llanwydd: never seems like a whole week does it?
cease: i saw it too long ago to remember, except lee marvin falling off his hourse drunk
cease: hi llan
Principalpoop: how long did yours take fong?
Principalpoop: singing happy birthday at the wake...
Dexter Fong: couple or three hours, no more
llanwydd: what lee marvin films have I seen?
Dexter Fong: walk in, stagger out
llanwydd: believe it or not I have never seen the dirty dozen
cease: it didnt seem to scare me away from drinking, though
Principalpoop: why not?
Dexter Fong: Cause he doesn't ride horses
Principalpoop: why not llan
llanwydd: I'll try and list the ones I've seen
llanwydd: why not what?
Principalpoop: dirty dozen, it is on tv often
Dexter Fong: Why not now
llanwydd: the wild one, raintree county, the man who shot liberty valance... and that's all I can think of
Dexter Fong: The PRince and the Pooper?
Dexter Fong: Cease Ballou
Principalpoop: the fong and the pauper
cease: i'm bringing along volume one of lord of the rings to read when they're not operating
cease: heard a funny joke about that book on break room live today
Principalpoop: that will work
llanwydd: I've read most of lord of the rings but I only got halfway through "Return"
||||||||| Catherwood strides up and announces "Presenting 'Elayne', just granted probation at 9:29 PM", then leaves hurriedly.
Elayne: Evenin' all
Principalpoop: got your ipod or something similar?
cease: ive read the trilogy more than 20 times
Principalpoop: Hi E
cease: hi el
Elayne: Traveling, Cat?
llanwydd: I remember reading it on the beach in FL
llanwydd: Hi Elayne
cease: i dont have an ipod or a cell phone. must be my age
cease: onlyu to the hospital tomorrow, el
Elayne: You okay, Cat?
Dexter Fong: Hey Elayne
Principalpoop: i don't either, but i might if i was going under the knife
llanwydd: I've never read an entire novel more than once
cease: skin cancer on my nose, hopefully no more after tomorrow
llanwydd: not that I recall
cease: i've read a lot of books a lot of times
Elayne: Yikes, Cat. Hoping for the best for you.
llanwydd: I've read books of short stories more than once
Principalpoop: same here, but none 20 times
llanwydd: yeah, skin cancer is easy to beat these days
cease: same cancer that was on my wrist 6 years ago and they told me it would reoccur, with my fair skin
cease: i have to start wearing sun block religiously
cease: thanks, el.
llanwydd: the one novel I intend to reread is War and Peace
llanwydd: my alltime favorite novel
cease: i really enjoyed it when i read it in 1967, llan. but doubt i'd re-read it
Principalpoop: never read that, crime and punishment was a hoot
cease: yes, great book
llanwydd: I read it in a month. 50 pages a day
cease: have you seen the flick the russians made out of in i think 69? very good
llanwydd: I was reading dr seuss in 1967
Elayne: Dex, you there?
llanwydd: yes I've seen the russian version and the hollywood version
Dexter Fong: I was reading LP liner notes in 1967
Dexter Fong: Yes E
Elayne: Welcome back to the 21st century!
cease: wasnt audrey hepburn in the us version?
llanwydd: actually I could read pretty well by then but I liked dr seuss
Dexter Fong: Hard to read with all those seeds and stems on it
cease: i read crime and punishment in 67 too, lots of russians that year, my first year of university
Principalpoop: capital comic books in 1967, superman, batman, green lantern the whole bunch
llanwydd: yes she was. and henry fonda and jeremy brett
Elayne: Honestly Dex, that's why the Beatles came out with the White Albm.
Principalpoop: about that year they killed off one of the legion of super heros guys, that was a big deal
Elayne: Dex, you want to have dinner tomorrow?
cease: my speakers made an odd beep. maybe they miss ah clem
llanwydd: I used to use The Yes Album for that purpose
Dexter Fong: E: Myrna and I and friends are going to the theater tomorrow
Elayne: 'K Dex, catch ya next time.
Principalpoop: a shoe box lid, i was old school
cease: maron has been reviewing plays a lot recently on break room live
llanwydd: theatre is cool
Principalpoop: theatre
llanwydd: especially firesign
Elayne: Speaking of old albums, I can't stay, as I have to go over all my albums tonight and give Robin the ones I want digitized.
Principalpoop: ride captain ride
cease: true
Dexter Fong: Theatre of the Obscene
cease: nice to see you here whenever, el
Elayne: See y'all next week!
||||||||| At 9:38 PM, Elayne runs out the door saying "Hey, mister ice-cream man, I've got a nickel, wait for meeeee..."
Principalpoop: ciao bebe
llanwydd: nite E
Dexter Fong: Night Elayne, and bon appetito
cease: keep em flying, el
Principalpoop: fong in demand
Dexter Fong: Fong on Demand..just use your remote control
Principalpoop: pay for fong
Dexter Fong: kinda quiet here without CNI and so few people
Dexter Fong: I think I'll SHOUT!!
cease: indeed
llanwydd: now that you mention it there does seem to be a dearth
llanwydd: if that is the proper expression
llanwydd: so, when is obama going to bring the troops home?
Dexter Fong: Dearth of a Salelady
cease: my spelling has improved minus the usual intoxicants, but i dont have anything to say
Principalpoop: they don't give a damn about any trumpet playing band, it ain't what they call rock and roll
Dexter Fong: llan: I just got word...an entire regiment is coming to you home
Principalpoop: what is in the front of a fireplace?
llanwydd: ok, here's a topic: the pope's karma. discuss
Dexter Fong: Andirons?
Principalpoop: dearth
Dexter Fong: I have seen the Pope's karma and it is dearth
Principalpoop: i got kicked out of daily kos for discussing the nazi youth pope, i was respectful, just wondered how they picked him out of millions and millions of catholics...
llanwydd: what would I do if an entire regiment came to my house?
Dexter Fong: Hamburger helper
llanwydd: LOL
Principalpoop: need more chairs
llanwydd: I pack them in tight and go to a motel
Principalpoop: nothing from nothing leaves nothing
llanwydd: there wouldn't be room for all of us
Dexter Fong: ..and welcome to toights show, "Poop, trollin' the oldies"
llanwydd: don't tell me you are going to slam the pope for being in the hitler youth
Principalpoop: i have my jukebox going, of my 400 mp3s
llanwydd: I doubt he had any choice
Dexter Fong: There's always a choice
Principalpoop: this was after he made some dubious quote from some 1200 century anti-muslim paper, what a maroon....
llanwydd: easy for you to say
cease: i prefer maron
Dexter Fong: That was my choice, llan =)
llanwydd: -_
Dexter Fong wonders if LLan just launched a dearth symbol
Principalpoop: we are not talking about everybody, we are talking about somebody having the strength of characters to be gods top representative on earth llan...
Principalpoop: i like macaroons, how do they make them?
Dexter Fong: Hey Hey, he promised me exclusive rights
llanwydd: you don't get it princ
||||||||| Catherwood trudges in at 9:49 PM, dragging Otto Yamamoto by one foot and asks "Can anyone vouch for this Yahoo ™?"
cease: mayb e this god character is actually a nazi
llanwydd: the religion is all about redemption
Principalpoop: if they had won, sure cat, god is on the side of the winner
Dexter Fong: Hey Yam
Principalpoop: hi otto
cease: yamamoto's here! now we can form an axis of evil
llanwydd: even the pope is redeemed
Otto Yamamoto: I'm game
llanwydd: Hey Yammy
Dexter Fong: Redemtion= redeem your good deeds at the inception counter
Principalpoop: no no no, it is all about power llan
cease: we still need an italian
Otto Yamamoto: Will there be beer?
llanwydd: you don't get it
Dexter Fong: Of course
cease: he said power and we responded
Dexter Fong: and pizza ...if we get the Eyetralian
Otto Yamamoto: I'm half-italian(my Mother's side)
Principalpoop: show them a light, and they will follow it anywhere
llanwydd: I have no italian at all
cease: ok, you can be 2/3 of the axis
Otto Yamamoto follows the light
Principalpoop: a japanese pizza? sounds like trouble
Dexter Fong: Shooting Star de dah de dah something (mutter)
cease: yes, they do make some vile pizzas
llanwydd: as far back as I can trace, which is very far, there is nothing south of germany
llanwydd: and that was in the 13th century
Dexter Fong: How do they get the dough in those tiny vials
Principalpoop: there was no germany until recently
llanwydd: believe it or not I am a direct descendant of king charlemagne
Principalpoop: so am I
cease: corn with mayonaise on pizza is popular in japan. what else do you need to know
llanwydd: well there were german kings
llanwydd: I am descended from them
Dexter Fong: I'm out of Ethelred the Unsteady
Otto Yamamoto: That's rather evil
Principalpoop: how could you be an in-direct descendant?
cease: i like the steely dan song kid charlemagne. does that count?
Dexter Fong: Only to 6:17
llanwydd: corn on pizza? that's sick
Dexter Fong: How about a corn dog on pizza
Principalpoop: ewww cat, i did not read that, llan is right
cease: just read The Secret Life of Food which talks about pizza, among other things
cease: basically it was all the neopolitans could afford
llanwydd: I've read all about pizza on wiki
cease: the origin of many a dish, actually
Principalpoop: rolling on to the bitter end
Dexter Fong: Appearing at the Bitter End this weekend Kid Rock, Daddy Warbucks, Mom's Mambly and Lil Sitah
Principalpoop: bad company, present company excluded
cease: hold the anchovies
llanwydd: a story on wiki says that the pizza we know today is based on a dish that was served at a festival and was supposd to be patriotic
Dexter Fong: Put the anchovies on the one with garlic
cease: yes the colours of the italian flag
Principalpoop: the recipe for mustard is about the same for over 2000 years
llanwydd: it had tomatoes, basil and mozzarella to represent the three colors of the italian flag
||||||||| Merlyn sashays in at 9:56 PM carrying an obsidian door knocker.
Merlyn: hey ho
Dexter Fong: Well, when i eat a particularly fine pizzza parts of me stand up
Principalpoop: nice knocker M
cease: we used to get great dill mustard here but it's dissappeared. bummer
cease: hi merl
Dexter Fong: Hee Hee, Merlyn
llanwydd: Hey Moil
Dexter Fong: Cat: Make you own
Merlyn: Hey, Talon News is reporting that the Republican Party is changing its name
Merlyn: it's now the Donner Party
Principalpoop: dill pickles are ok, but don't go overboard about dill
cease: i won a pizza oven from a local liquor store. it's quite good, actually
llanwydd: I'm sorry. that's spelled "mohel". we discussed that recently
cease: lol merl
cease: i love dill, poop. my ukranian heritage, no doubt
Otto Yamamoto: Aren't they dead yet?
Principalpoop: any white smoke from the minnesota state house yet?
Dexter Fong: Merl: Oh sure, people eating people, that's par for the course, but a squirell eating a squirell..
Merlyn: nothing on the senate race
Principalpoop: what a scam
llanwydd: your comment about the pizza oven reminds me of the gag on neal amid
Merlyn: but more people are telling Norm to go away
llanwydd: I died laughing over that one
cease: how long can the repubs keep franken out?
cease: ah yes, the albanians
Dexter Fong: Norm from Cheers, the little chubby guy
Merlyn: I dunno, 2 months?
llanwydd: we'll turn these bunkers into pizza ovens
Merlyn: they can presumably keep appealing to the us supreme court
Dexter Fong: The election dispute can end up in the Supreme Court
Merlyn: which will probably just deny a hearing
cease: i wrote that joke before learning that tha albanians controled the pizza market in new york
||||||||| Catherwood enters the room, strikes a gong, and bellows "THE TIME IN NEW YORK IS 10 O'CLOCK", then silently exits.
Principalpoop: don't underestimate spaz roberts
llanwydd: interesting
llanwydd: I never would have suspected the albanians
||||||||| ah.clem enters at 10:01 PM as Catherwood takes their hat and goat and scurries off to the Chapeau Manger.
Dexter Fong: Spaz Roberts? Wasn't he the "Awkward Pole Vaulter"
llanwydd: in fact I have never known an albanian
cease: nobody suspects the albanians
llanwydd: Hey Clem
cease: hi clem
Principalpoop: albany is an ok city
ah.clem: hi all, net connection not good, so cannot do "a few minutes"
Merlyn: he wasn't from Poland -- and don't call me Walter!
Principalpoop: hi ahh clem
Merlyn: especially with that terrible accent
llanwydd: oh, those albanians
cease: thats ok, clem
ah.clem: but did want to come in and say hi.
llanwydd: yes I guess I have known some
Principalpoop: best of luck ahh,clem
Principalpoop: glad you are ok :)
cease: apparently belushi was albanian, but didnt want to discuss it
Dexter Fong: In NYC gangland and excluding the "youth" gangs like Crips, Bloods, Latin Kings, etc. It's Russian then Albanians, then EYetralians
Dexter Fong: Hi Clem. glad you popped by
cease: we used to have an albanian book store in vancouver.
ah.clem: Bambi will likely pop in as well
Principalpoop: i want tv cameras in the supreme court, get to see roberts have another seizure...
Dexter Fong: The owner was Albanian, or they sold Albanian Books, or both...or neither
Merlyn: would that be illegal search and siezure?
Merlyn: they sold Albert Brooks? Why wasn't I informed?
cease: i walked in once and all it seemed to have was copies of enver hoxha's speeches. very strange
llanwydd: I'm going to have to look up albanian cuisine on the internet
llanwydd: probably come up with pizza
Principalpoop: foam at the mouth, shake uncontrollably, you know, act llike a republican...
cease: probably a front for illegal pizza smuggling
Dexter Fong: Ok Sarge: First he seized and then we searched him...then read him his rights
Merlyn: Ther was a computer company at a computer show years ago, named "Quintar". I told them that's Albanian currency (100 quintars to 1 lek)
Merlyn: It's funny 'cause it's true
Dexter Fong leks that exchange rate
Principalpoop: can i borrow 5 lek from somebody?
llanwydd: the first time I had pizza my grandmother made it and it was so awful you couldn't get me to eat pizza for years after
Principalpoop: what did she put on it llan?
Merlyn: it takes you years to eat a pizza? How big is it?
llanwydd: she put tomato paste and swiss cheese on an english muffin
llanwydd: and called it pizza pie
Principalpoop: ewwwww
Dexter Fong: Poop: I will gladly give you two slices of Pizza next tuesday if you will land me 2 leks today
llanwydd: usually her cooking was very good
cease: pizza was rare in the la of my youth
Merlyn: I only know one Lek, Walesa
cease: sounds like wimpy, dex
Principalpoop: we ate pizza from pizza joes, the cooks were marines working for extra money...
Dexter Fong: How about Lek Michigan
cease: anyone know the firesign riff on pizza from the Big Internet Broadcast of 1996
Merlyn: oh yeah, I know that one
cease: i should put on that cassette now.
Dexter Fong: afk for pizza he he
cease: mussolini was in it
Principalpoop: please tell me who I am
Merlyn: mussolini was in the pizza? Were there popes in it too?
llanwydd: I only know of nick's swell
Principalpoop: they never come up in the mountains
Principalpoop: anybody tried the dominos sandwiches?
llanwydd: swell pizza sounds pretty awful actually
cease: i'm putting on the cassette now. the bit was called The Steamdriven Intrernet
llanwydd: no I haven't
Principalpoop: i like hot sandwiches
cease: dex, you were there when they did it, as was el and doc
Principalpoop: lola
llanwydd: the first time I had dominos pizza was in mississippi in 1982
Principalpoop: i met her in a club down in north soho
Dexter Fong: Cat: I remember the show..parts of it anyway...but not that bit
llanwydd: I remember I had pepperoni and green olives on it and it was great
Principalpoop: yum
cease: i wish i could broadcast this cassette now
Dexter Fong: Whatever Lola gets, you will pay for
llanwydd: lol
Dexter Fong: That's your next project Cat
Principalpoop: i have made the acquaintance of many champagne girls, so to speak
cease: internet broadcasting? i dont have the technical ability for it
Dexter Fong: Station KCAT or do they use a difrferent prefix in CA?
cease: yes, all our stations have to start with a C
llanwydd: what's a champagne girl?
llanwydd: don't drink that much
cease: ive had noodles made out of champagne. they were exquisite
Principalpoop: professional female bar flys
Dexter Fong: Cool: Station C C C CAT
cease: isnt that the old name for russia?
llanwydd: is it a old bag that's shaped like a jerboam?
Principalpoop: hehe he said jerboam hehe
llanwydd: jeraboam
Dexter Fong: DOn't get out much, eh llan? =))
Otto Yamamoto: That's my grandmother!
Principalpoop: sorry otto
llanwydd: LOL
llanwydd: I don't go to places like that
cease: "radio is television put together" a great line from this show
Dexter Fong: I prefer a split
Otto Yamamoto: Not really, ut it's a pity to waste an opening like that
llanwydd: even the most expensive bars are below my dignity
Principalpoop: i liked dives and nudie bars
Otto Yamamoto hangs out in ars listening to the devil's music
Otto Yamamoto: bars
llanwydd: well, I'm half joking. I've tried them out in my younger days
Dexter Fong: I thought I recognized you Poop, You were always standing behind the Pole
llanwydd: but bars all stink of cigarettes and spilled beer
Principalpoop: any bar without a pool table, doesn't deserve the name
Otto Yamamoto: which half?
Dexter Fong: -llan: YOu bespeak the troubled perfume of my youth
Otto Yamamoto: llan: no smoking in Bars here
Principalpoop: ahhh a wasted youth, i could run the table, with luck
llanwydd: you couldn't get me into one of those places anymore
Principalpoop: banned you too huh?
Dexter Fong: I used to run the Maids on the third flloor
Otto Yamamoto: Sometimes....Though Jimmy G of Murphy's Law has been known to ahem 'smoke'
llanwydd: champagne girls sound interesting though
Otto Yamamoto: I was displeased becaus they didn't pass it my way.....
llanwydd: are they from illinois?
||||||||| It's 10:20 PM, and that means it's time to play BEAT THE REAPER! And here's how our contestants did:
||||||||| ah.clem - dead from the fiddlers
||||||||| Better luck next time! And now, back to our chatroom, which is already in progress...
Dexter Fong: How about a nice cognac cunt
Principalpoop: women of the lake llan
Otto Yamamoto: Swamp things?
Principalpoop: up near you, lake champlaigne
cease: Dominator's Pizza
Dexter Fong: of the lek you mean poop
cease: "We gonna make some swell pizza" last line in the segment
Principalpoop: how many quintars is that?
Otto Yamamoto: Those damn Albanian Hussies again, I see
cease: bergman's character is an admiral on the USS Friendly Fire
llanwydd: champlain girls arent much to speak of
Otto Yamamoto: 100 Quintars, sailor
Principalpoop: i hear the train acoming
llanwydd: the grass is always greener on the other side of the lake
Principalpoop: new in town?
Dexter Fong: Iserved abourd the FF until they accidently fired me out of a canon
Dexter Fong: llan: Cause it's always dow wind
llanwydd: very strange that we are such a small group tonight
Principalpoop: i know they're drinking coffee and smoking big cigars
llanwydd: lol
Otto Yamamoto: But you can't be free
Principalpoop: all right troops, count off
Principalpoop: 1
Dexter Fong: And getting lek dances from those Champlaine Girls
Dexter Fong: 2
Principalpoop: good job fong
llanwydd: jest lek dat
Otto Yamamoto: 6^10
Principalpoop: can't lek dat
Dexter Fong: Fongs absent without leave poop, they just shot him out of a canon again
Otto Yamamoto: How you lek it sailor boy?
Dexter Fong: Same as ever yammy, sunnyside in
Principalpoop: which canon? a dogma or scripture?
Otto Yamamoto: That damn Gunners Mate Pachelbel is at it again
Principalpoop: me so horny
Dexter Fong: lol Yam =))))
Dexter Fong: said the brass band?
Principalpoop: ahhhhhh cisco
Otto Yamamoto is on a roll
llanwydd: I always wondered why that piece was called canon when it's so quiet
cease: an egg roll?
Dexter Fong: Oh John, you always call me martha..who is this little tramp cisco, one of the Albanian Champagne Girls?
Otto Yamamoto: and since we're in a martial mood tonight, it's a Kaiser Roll
Dexter Fong: Jawohl!! Herr Uber Chef
Principalpoop: liberty call liberty call
Dexter Fong: That's right with Friends and Family, you can call yourself over and over again
Otto Yamamoto: No more liberty. We traded it for security and pornography
cease: proctor squeezed 5 firesign album names in one small speech
Principalpoop: won't get fooled again then
Dexter Fong: Out here in the fields
llanwydd: "there's nothing like liberty except collier's and the saturday evening post." - grouch
llanwydd: groucho
Dexter Fong: That's Life...that's what all the people say
Principalpoop: my collier itches
llanwydd: that might have been a funny quote if I spelled his name right
Otto Yamamoto: Bet he like pornography, too
Principalpoop: i knew who you meant
Dexter Fong: Poop: Take it off and hangit here on the Astrolabe
Otto Yamamoto: actually, most fans would recognise 'grouch' I know I did
llanwydd: "3 quotes? well put in another quote and make it a gallon." - groucho
Principalpoop: last time i got snagged on the hubble fong
Dexter Fong: "Getayah Tutsi Fruitsy Ice-a Cream" - Chico
llanwydd: LOL
Principalpoop: were you vaccinated with a long playing phonograph needle llan?
Dexter Fong: - Harpo
Otto Yamamoto: Nino almost has me right
llanwydd: funny I was just watching that one yesterday
llanwydd: LOL dex
Otto Yamamoto: It's an accurate quote
Principalpoop: ahh the dukes of queensbury boxing rules, eh llan?
||||||||| Catherwood stomps in at 10:32 PM, dragging Bambi by one leg and asks "Can anyone vouch for this Firehead?"
Otto Yamamoto: as oppsed to the Dukes of Hazzard
llanwydd: don't tell me nino has me in queensbury
cease: hi bambi
llanwydd: Hey Bambi
Principalpoop: hi sweet deer, watch your language guys
Otto Yamamoto: We won't
Dexter Fong: That was Nino's choice, llan
Dexter Fong: Hi Bambi
Otto Yamamoto has no eyeteeth and can't see what he says
Bambi: howdy dear friends :D
llanwydd: there is a queensbury and a fort anne near me and I think they are named after the same person
Principalpoop: ahh that explains everything, i had my wisdom teeth removed...
Otto Yamamoto: I have a few left
Dexter Fong: Anne of Queensbury...I think you're right llan...fell in love with some married blighter and threw herself off the cliffs
Principalpoop: how are things in bambiland, other than grrrr connection?
Otto Yamamoto: I may tend to that someday
Dexter Fong: Unfortunately they were only 15 feet high so she's just paralyzed
Otto Yamamoto: LOOK OUT BELOW
Dexter Fong: Likves in a lighthouse they do say
Otto Yamamoto: Imagine a full grown woman falling on you from that hieght. It could hurt
llanwydd: queen anne had 17 children and none of them lived to adulthood
Principalpoop: was that Hercliff manor?
Dexter Fong: Spins araoung aand around, that's her therapy
llanwydd: don't remember how that happened but that sure is a sad story
Dexter Fong: Yam: Or a brace of midgets
Bambi: other than grrrrr connection tonight, doing OK. How are you all doing?
Dexter Fong: llan: Maybe the Albanians killed them
Otto Yamamoto: That's an ongoing thing w/skins-Midgets
Principalpoop ) fine thanks, spring has sprung in roanoke
llanwydd: oh, yeah. blame the albanians
cease: i was in line at the grocery store yesterday and there was a midget in front of me.
Otto Yamamoto: Spring has sprung, the grass is riz
cease: very strange.
Otto Yamamoto: That's an omen
Principalpoop: i already cut the grass once
Dexter Fong: Yam: Will you be attending this year's Billy Barty/Tom Thumb downhill plummet?
cease: we had snow here yesterday. so much for spring
Otto Yamamoto: Probably not
Otto Yamamoto: I have to find a place to live'
Principalpoop: i was once out strolling one very hot summer day
Dexter Fong: Well, They measure your height..can't be over 42 inches tall
Otto Yamamoto: I think I've been subject to gentrification
Principalpoop: i lay there in the sun
cease: im listeing to a song called Clinton's Moving Further to the Right.
Dexter Fong: You do seem to be a kinder getrilized person
cease: they had no idea what was to come post clinton
llanwydd: you can't lay in the sun while you are strolling. who are you trying to kid?
Otto Yamamoto never understood that song in 40 years of listening to it
Principalpoop: spill the wine, take that girl yammy
Otto Yamamoto: Can I have the Wine AND the girl?
Otto Yamamoto: That sounds like a etter deal
Principalpoop: don't have to spill all of it
Otto Yamamoto: I hate to waste wine. Even the cheap stuff
Principalpoop: ok, take the wine, spill that girl
Dexter Fong: Catherwood, top off Otto's wine
||||||||| Catherwood tops off otto's wine.
Otto Yamamoto: No, I want it all. Unspilt
Principalpoop: catherwood snubbed me earlier, i did not remember seeing that
||||||||| Catherwood snubbeds Principalpoop earlier i did not remember seeing that.
Dexter Fong: Catherwood, take the top off Otto's girl
||||||||| Catherwood takes the top off otto's girl.
llanwydd: catherwood, wine off otto's top
||||||||| Catherwood wines off otto's top.
Principalpoop: what goes up, must come down
Otto Yamamoto: Though I'm not going to cry over spilt milk
Dexter Fong: But spilt wine is another matter
Otto Yamamoto haes milk but sure knows where it comes from
Principalpoop: let the spinning wheel turn
llanwydd: now you're whining over milled spilk
Principalpoop: just let it shine, within your mind
Dexter Fong wonders how many goats sheep and cattle Yam has
Otto Yamamoto cannot type for anything
Otto Yamamoto: Well we all shine on
Principalpoop: indeed we do
Dexter Fong: Like crazy monies
Bambi: speaking of spilled milk....
llanwydd: we all burn out
Otto Yamamoto: Nah
Dexter Fong: monkies
Bambi: Catherwood, please pour me a double toasted almond
||||||||| Catherwood gives Bambi a double toasted almond.
Otto Yamamoto: I refuse to burn out
Principalpoop: it is better to burn than to fade away
Bambi: thank you Catherwood
||||||||| Catherwood answers "Just doing my job!"
Bambi: lol
Otto Yamamoto: I'll go until I die, If I can
Principalpoop: C likes you bambi
Dexter Fong: Thank you Catherwood
||||||||| Catherwood answers "Just doing my job!"
cease: computers are nothing but lots of little gates opening and closing and i get billed for it
Principalpoop: that is the spirit yam
||||||||| JustAnotherGovtTweeny sneaks in around 10:44 PM, trying to avoid Catherwood because of last month's "unpleasant incident."
Dexter Fong: dat's right Gates
llanwydd: Hey Tween
JustAnotherGovtTweeny: Just stopped in to say Hi folks
Principalpoop: hi tween, cat wants to broadcast on the net
Otto Yamamoto: Hi Folks
Dexter Fong: Hiya Tweeny
JustAnotherGovtTweeny: Hope everybody's well
Otto Yamamoto: Folks isn't here
llanwydd: tell us about last month's "unpleasant incident".
cease: from "bergman goes digital"
Dexter Fong: poop =)
Bambi: ones and zeros ... how can they charge for ones and zeros...
Principalpoop: folk me? nooo, folk YOU
cease: bergman is rififng on bill gates name, bambi
Principalpoop: fine, and you tween?
Dexter Fong: Bambi: The zeros are free but the ones cost twice as much
llanwydd: I'm doing well. thanks for asking
cease: from a 1996 broadcast
JustAnotherGovtTweeny: DJ cease? what a cool idea
Otto Yamamoto: Does that mean that he'll be crashing soon?
llanwydd: bergman goes digitalis
cease: i'm far too lazy
Otto Yamamoto: BSOD=Bergman Screen of Death?
Principalpoop: lazy? really? i never pictured you that way..
Dexter Fong: ..adn far to busy reading everything 15 or 20 times
llanwydd: I'm laissez
Dexter Fong: That's fair
Principalpoop: that is faire llan
llanwydd: lol
Bambi: BSOD = Bergman Scream of Dearth
Principalpoop: ok ok, you got it fong
Dexter Fong: Ah, someone's been reading the log
cease: the future fair, a fair for all and no fair to anybody
Principalpoop: wild horses couldn't drag me away
Dexter Fong: Bambi said the secret woid and a duck came down
llanwydd: I'll bet wild horses could drag you away
Dexter Fong: Poop: How about a horse with no name
llanwydd: but where in the world are you going to find wild horses?
Principalpoop: you don't get down off an elephant
Dexter Fong: Howdah get down den?
llanwydd: I'll bet there are no horses anywhere in the world that aren't domesticated and probably there never have been
Principalpoop: i googled, and i am not the only one who found rachel maddows looks like waldo...
Dexter Fong: llan: ON spring break
Principalpoop: free range horses couldn't drive me away, better llan?
llanwydd: horses are probably genetically engineered
Dexter Fong: Horses gone wild and the men they attract
Otto Yamamoto: picky, picky
Otto Yamamoto: Well, I has to work, so it's off to bed for me
llanwydd: sounds like pat paulsen
Dexter Fong: How about some lethargic Clydesdales?
Otto Yamamoto: later all
Principalpoop: night yammy
llanwydd: Nite Yammy. thanks for stopping in
Dexter Fong: Night Yam, good to see you again
Principalpoop: sleep well and prosper
cease: by yammy
Principalpoop: the breeze blew back my hair
Principalpoop: i remember throwing punches around
llanwydd: he has never been "otto" before, has he?
Dexter Fong: Yes
Principalpoop: you otto know
llanwydd: lol
Dexter Fong: Also he's been: Radar, level. Able was i ere i saw elba
Principalpoop: uncle yamamoto
llanwydd: how palindromic
Dexter Fong: Wild palindromes coun't get me to say uncle yamamoto
Principalpoop: sarah palin? i thought we got rid of her
llanwydd: no, she is still up there
Principalpoop: keep her up there
Dexter Fong: Watching the Russians and Albanians
cease: keep her out of canada. we have enough kooks in govt
Dexter Fong: Cat: You got a big uncrowded country...she going there
Bambi: have a great night everyone! my eyes are crossing and I need sleep
Principalpoop: oops no words, the rockford files theme song... hum along
llanwydd: Nite Bambi
Principalpoop: night keepers of the root, best of luck
Bambi: see ya next time ... hope our bandwidth will be better next week
cease: by bambi
Bambi: nytol
Dexter Fong: Night Bambi see you next time
||||||||| Bambi rushes off, saying "10:57 PM? Mark Time is almost on! Where's a radio?"
Principalpoop: still looking for cni as she left, that is devotion
cease: dont lumber me with labour talk
Dexter Fong: How about I clear cut you with Conservative measures
Principalpoop: no minimum wagers
Dexter Fong: I'm all in then
cease: i'm a lumberjack and i'm ok
cease: i sleep all night and i sleep all day
Dexter Fong: 500 Leks
Principalpoop: sometimes i'm right, but i can be wrong
llanwydd: anybody know if the firesign theatre is going back into the recording studio in the forseeable future?
||||||||| It's 11:00 PM, and that means it's time to play BEAT THE REAPER! And here's how our contestants did:
||||||||| JustAnotherGovtTweeny - dead from pneumonia
||||||||| Otto Yamamoto - dead from pneumonia
||||||||| Better luck next time! And now, back to our chatroom, which is already in progress...
Principalpoop: i love everyday people, yah yah
Dexter Fong: Pneumonias sweeping the internet
Principalpoop: i guess they could make a dvd of the upcoming performance
cease: maybe if they have fun in monterey this month, llan
||||||||| Catherwood enters the room, strikes a gong, and bellows "THE TIME IN NEW YORK IS 11 O'CLOCK", then silently exits.
cease: and of course, someone would have to put up the money
llanwydd: that sure would be nice
llanwydd: it's been quite a while
Principalpoop: the box of danger was not long ago
llanwydd: how much money do they need. maybe we can help them out
llanwydd: but then they would all have to want to at the same time
Dexter Fong: Not nearly as long as the great fire drought of the 80's-early 90s
cease: yes, there was no firesign product for 15 years or so
Dexter Fong: Only fond memories, growing ever dimmer
Principalpoop: say, what is the word? from johannesburg?
Dexter Fong: Everybody's gone to Durban, in their turbans
Principalpoop: sweet
llanwydd: well, I'm not going to lie to you. I'm not going to bed. I'm going to watch television
Principalpoop: maybe waiting to see how the Obama administration turns out....
llanwydd: see you all next thursday
Dexter Fong: Television? Tell a vision!
Dexter Fong: Tell a vision!!
Principalpoop: night llan, enjoy the tube
cease: ok llan. happy viewing
Dexter Fong: Good reception, llan
llanwydd: good night
Principalpoop: i don't know what you expect to find, plugged into your tv set
Dexter Fong: I think the Pope is speaking tonight
Principalpoop: who sang that? hehe
Dexter Fong: Eddie and the Cantors
Principalpoop: frank and the sinatras
Dexter Fong: Frankie and the Snot-Rahs you mean
cease: it was a day like any other. cept it was this one
Dexter Fong: It was the one I had circles on the calendar with the scantily clad grease monkette
cease: i gotta go do stuff in preparation for tomorrow. see some of you next week
Principalpoop: ahh talking heads, burning down the house
cease: or see you here in 2 weeks, dex
Dexter Fong: Good luck and all that Cat
cease: bye
Principalpoop: courage, best of luck cat :D
||||||||| cease departs at 11:09 PM, singing "Toad away, toad away; toad away, toad away! Where do you go when you're toad away?"
Dexter Fong: Maybe next week if I can
Merlyn: see you next week
Principalpoop: i did not want to ask in front of him
Dexter Fong: ask what?
Principalpoop: cutting on the face i guess would be painful, am I right?
Dexter Fong: 'bout his operation?
Principalpoop: right
Dexter Fong: Well, they give him a drip of painkiller.tranquilizer
Principalpoop: even so, the body has been insulted as they say
Dexter Fong: Maybe some residual soreness post operation, but if all is well, that ain't nothin
||||||||| Merlyn hurries out the back door as Mayor P'nisnose blasts through the front door holding a shotgun and shouting "Where's Merlyn?! It's 11:11 PM and my ballot boxes haven't been stuffed yet!"
Principalpoop: ahh ok :)
Principalpoop: super
Dexter Fong: Hm, didn't even know Merlyn was here...he's such a quiet boy...makes you waonder sometimes
Principalpoop: him and nino,
Principalpoop: amazing
Dexter Fong: Well, Nino's locked in that steel box so he has an excuse
Dexter Fong: Have you ever seen his dead cat and bug collection?
Principalpoop: no, i have refused his invites
Dexter Fong: Neither have I...makes you wonder, right?
Principalpoop: i wonder often
Principalpoop: not sure what causes it
Principalpoop: i wonder about why I wonder
Dexter Fong: I wonder wonder wonder wonder..who wrote the book of love?
Principalpoop: i think omar wanted to be in the book of love rather than the book of life
Dexter Fong: Who wrote the Kama Sutra for that matter
Principalpoop: that is his name
Principalpoop: Kama Olsen Sutra
Dexter Fong: Sutra and the Commas singing Love Position Number 9
Principalpoop: train train train
Principalpoop: and do the locomotion
Dexter Fong: Ach it ist Kleine Eva
Principalpoop: Calvin
Dexter Fong: Eva and the Prawns singing For such a Shrimp All Germany vould die
Principalpoop: i did not have the necessary, ahhhh, inches, to do many of those positions, what a gyp
Dexter Fong: Ah the gypsys they know many secrets
Dexter Fong: How to add inches to your measurement
Principalpoop: i didn't tell them, honest fong
Dexter Fong: How to not pay taxis
Principalpoop: you paid, and i will keep quiet like i promised
||||||||| It's 11:20 PM, and that means it's time to play BEAT THE REAPER! And here's how our contestants did:
||||||||| llanwydd - dead from jaundice
||||||||| Better luck next time! And now, back to our chatroom, which is already in progress...
Dexter Fong: and where to get a Shamwow
Principalpoop: they still have shamwows?
Principalpoop: where can I get one?
Dexter Fong: The latest greatest thing,,,and they're made in Germany and you know the Germans make good stuff
Principalpoop: ahh, i have to ask a gypsey
Dexter Fong: You got it pal, but I didn't tell you
Principalpoop: wait, i got it but you didn't tell me?
Dexter Fong: Well friend Poop, think I"ll close early tongith
Dexter Fong: tang nth?
Dexter Fong: tong tht
Principalpoop: it went fast, scoot along, super week thou
Dexter Fong: Say to you Poop
Principalpoop: thanks, ciaooo
||||||||| At 11:23 PM, the lights go out! Rocky Rococo's voice pierces the inky darkness: "I've got you now, Principalpoop!" Shattering glass is heard, and then the lights come back on...
||||||||| It's 11:30 PM, and that means it's time to play BEAT THE REAPER! And here's how our contestants did:
||||||||| Dexter Fong - dead from the common cold
||||||||| Better luck next time! And now, back to our chatroom, which is already in progress...
||||||||| "1:29 AM? 1:29 AM!!" says Catherwood, "Ray Badberry Scifignalist should be here by now...oh, THERE you are!" as Ray Badberry Scifignalist enters and sits on the divan.
Ray Badberry Scifignalist: Right now action is called for. The ascendent n LOndon is Aries and Venus @ 03 degrees 25 minutes of Aries retrograde is square to Pluto @ 03 degrees 17 minutes of Capricorn
Ray Badberry Scifignalist: Mars @ 14 degrees 56 minutes of Pisces is opposite to Saturn @ 16 degrees 24 minutes of Virgo retrograde
Ray Badberry Scifignalist: Mercury @ 16 degrees 50 minutes of Aries is sextile to Jupiter @ 19 degrees 30 minutes of Aquarius
Ray Badberry Scifignalist: The Moon @ 21 degrees 41 minutes of Cancer is trine to Uranus @ 23 degrees 47 minutes of Pisces.
Ray Badberry Scifignalist:
Ray Badberry Scifignalist: Look out, Catherwood.
||||||||| Catherwood looks out.
Ray Badberry Scifignalist: Create me a legal definition of TODAY, Catherwood.
||||||||| Catherwood creates Ray Badberry Scifignalist a legal definition of today.
Ray Badberry Scifignalist: Send my message to the gee twenty summit, Catherwood.
||||||||| Catherwood sends Ray Badberry Scifignalist's message to the gee twenty summit.
Ray Badberry Scifignalist: I'll be backed.
||||||||| Ray Badberry Scifignalist leaves to catch the 1:34 AM train to Michigan.
||||||||| Catherwood enters, and announces to all and sundry "It's 4:32 AM, time to change the log file and clean out unused rooms; please exit the chat room for a minute or two. Thank you for your patience."

The Evening's Participants:
Dexter Fong
Otto Yamamoto
Paranoid Wormhead Relaxes
Ray Badberry Scifignalist
URL References:

Rogue's Gallery:

cat_pp.jpg (5168 bytes)
PP and Cat(cease)

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kend^/Dr. Headphones

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Merlyn and Tirebiter

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LeatherG & SO

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Ah, Clem and Bambi

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Compañero Señor Yämamoto

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Dexter Fong

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Bubba's Brain

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Bob D Caterino

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Dave & Katie

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404 - Not Found, Not Forgotten

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Peggy Blisswhips

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Audrey Farber

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Tiny Dr. Tim
Rest In Peace, Dear Friend

And, "The Home Team"