A Firesign Chat


Special appearance by
Phil Austin

||||||||| Catherwood re-enters the Waiting Room and explains "This is the main discussion room which is logged each night."
||||||||| Catherwood announces, "The time is 4:33 AM - I now declare Thursday's chat log for January 14, 2010 officially open!"... and then, he retires back to the vestibule...
||||||||| Catherwood ushers Firebroiled inside, makes a note of the time (7:47 AM), then fades off into the distance going on about the waiting room or the sitting room or something.

[singing] : We’re marching, marching to Shibboleth,
With the Eagle and the Sword!
We’re praising Zion ‘til her death,
Until we meet our last reward!

Our Lord’s reward!

Oh happy, Zion!
O’er wrapp’d, but not detained!
Lion! Oh f’rocious Lion!!
His beard our mighty mane!
At First and Main!

Oh, we’ll go marching, marching to Omaha,
With the Buckram and the Cord!
You’ll hear us “boom” our State!

Ha, ha!

As we cross the final ford!
The flaming Ford! ....


Oh mighty Zion!
Your bison now are dust!
As your cornflakes rise
‘Gainst the rust-red skies,
Then our blood requires us must
Go . . . .

Marching, marching to Shibboleth,
With the Eagle and the . . .

The Buckram and the Cord!
Prasing Zion ‘til her death!

Ha, ha!

Until we eat our last reward!
The flaming Ford!
Oh righteous Zion
There is no one to blame!
For the homespun pies
‘Neath the cracking skies
Shall release the fulsome rain!
Shall release!
Shall release!
Shall release!
Shall release!
Shall release the vinyl rein!

||||||||| At 7:48 AM, the lights go out! Rocky Rococo's voice pierces the inky darkness: "I've got you now, Firebroiled!" Shattering glass is heard, and then the lights come back on...
||||||||| ah,clem bounds in at 8:09 PM carrying an obsidian door knocker.
||||||||| New CNI streaming notice: '"a few minutes with FireSign Theatre" at about 9 eastern, Back From the Shadows, '94'
||||||||| ah,clem says "Catherwood, call me a cab." After the obvious joke, ah,clem exits at 8:11 PM.
||||||||| Bambi sashays in at 8:49 PM carrying an obsidian door knocker.
Bambi: Hello
Bambi: Hello dear friends
Bambi: Well, here I am and now gonna go to computer so brb
||||||||| It's 9:00 PM, and that means it's time to play BEAT THE REAPER! And here's how our contestants did:
||||||||| Bambi - dead from jaundice
||||||||| Better luck next time! And now, back to our chatroom, which is already in progress...
||||||||| Catherwood strides in with a trumpet, plays a fanfare, and proclaims "Nine PM on Thursday, January 14, 2010 - I now declare alt.comedy.firesgn-thtre's chat officially open!" -- then he looks around at the empty room, looks at his watch, and mumbles "...am I early?"
||||||||| Outside, the 9:03 PM bus from Vancouver pulls away, leaving c's coughing in a cloud of diesel fumes.
||||||||| ah,clem tiptoes in around 9:03 PM, trying to avoid Catherwood because of last year's "unpleasant incident."
ah,clem: hi Cat
c's: i guess some of us arent back from the shadows yet
ah,clem: seems so
||||||||| Outside, the 9:09 PM crosstown bus from New York pulls away, leaving Dexter Fong coughing in a cloud of diesel fumes.
||||||||| Catherwood ushers Bambi inside, makes a note of the time (9:09 PM), then fades off into the distance going on about the waiting room or the sitting room or something.
Bambi: hello dear friends
c's: aha. people
Dexter Fong: Hello Deer Friends and fellow Raccoons
c's: they did a very funny electrician on whidbey island
c's: Bergman relaly got into giving austin the shots
Dexter Fong: Any new material Cat?
c's: brgman did a piece i didnt know
c's: but all the old stuff had modern twists
c's: good news for you is that they want to play nyc
Dexter Fong: Ah, if only
c's: austin told me they weree playing the washington and cal gigs to save up money to go east
Dexter Fong: What are we listening to?
||||||||| 9:13 PM: RedPillTweeny jumps out of the hall closet saying "I've been listening to all of you talking about me for the past five minutes!"
Dexter Fong: Hi Tweeny
c's: he spoke of a 2 year time frame, but proc is more optimistic
Bambi: hey Clem, Cat, Dex, Tween
||||||||| Principalpoop waltzes in at 9:13 PM carrying an obsidian door knocker.
Dexter Fong: Hey PPoop
Principalpoop: hi all
Principalpoop: go east old man
c's: poop, tween
Dexter Fong: What are we listening to?
Principalpoop: B O
c's: 94 tour
Dexter Fong: Thnx cat
Bambi: Clem will have to tell you what we are listening to
Principalpoop: made jokes about hillary and hmos
Dexter Fong: Hillary's a homo?
c's: they tailored this for the langley audience, using langley street names
||||||||| A time machine materializes at 9:16 PM and Tor Hershman bounds out, carrying a grape from ancient Greece.
Dexter Fong: Hi TOR
Principalpoop: ciao Tor
c's: tor
Bambi: hey TOR
Tor Hershman: Howdy do, Bun, Clem, Dex, Poop, C & Red
Dexter Fong: Bam's become Bun
c's: bun will be here eventually. it was great seeing him again
Tor Hershman: Then who is BamBam?
Principalpoop: i bet she has a becoming bun
Dexter Fong: Bam Bam Bigelo, professional wrestler from parts unknown
Bambi: hey PrinceP
Principalpoop: peebles boyfriend
c's: barney rubble's son
Tor Hershman: Beaver College
Principalpoop: too late again bambi, try again next week
c's: melvin van peebles is gay?
||||||||| It's 9:20 PM, and that means it's time to play BEAT THE REAPER! And here's how our contestants did:
||||||||| RedPillTweeny - dead from jaundice
||||||||| Better luck next time! And now, back to our chatroom, which is already in progress...
Tor Hershman: beats a beaver collage - peeeeeerhaps
Principalpoop: oops pebbles
Bambi: I am never late ;-)
Tor Hershman: Nancy
Principalpoop: don't beat that beaver
Dexter Fong: pluck that duck
Dexter Fong: enjoy the goose
c's: did they play nyc in 94 or just westr coast
Dexter Fong: well I swan
Dexter Fong: Cat: Was 94 the Steam driven Internet show?
c's: no that was 96
c's: we're listening to 94 now. i saw it in seattle
Principalpoop: stop fidgetting forng
Tor Hershman: Hey, I'll be Heinz tomorrow
Tor Hershman: 57
Tor Hershman: Thank you
Dexter Fong: Your welcome
Principalpoop: anytime
Tor Hershman: or is that Hienzzzzz?
||||||||| Merlyn sneaks in around 9:24 PM, trying to avoid Catherwood because of last month's "unpleasant incident."
Principalpoop: Who got my pickle?
Tor Hershman: No problem
Dexter Fong: Tor: No, it's Hinds
Tor Hershman: Howdy do, Merl
Dexter Fong: Hi Merlyn
Principalpoop: HI M
Merlyn: hey all
Tor Hershman: Hind's quarter
c's: hey merl
Tor Hershman: Is Hinds quarter back?
Principalpoop: That hindu like you do
Tor Hershman: Put on a cup of chai
Principalpoop: birthday chai cake
c's: i see proctor posting tour news on his facebook page
Tor Hershman: Hey, Dex, that sounds pretty good like
Tor Hershman: Opppps, moi meant POOP
c's: our responses are very heart-warming and I've forwarded some of theme to the other crazee guyz. Our schedules are such at present that any major US touring would have to happen after our West coast appearances which will probably occupy most of this year, but hang in there! We will only get better with age - like worms out of a hot cheese log...
Principalpoop: don't be mean
c's: that just appeared on proc's page
Tor Hershman: Are The Boys coming to Wheeling, C? *laughter fills The Waiting Room*
c's: should be "Your" responses. this is to earlier message bout them hoping to play nyc
Principalpoop: he beat off the eagle hehe
Dexter Fong: Wonder what he's do to a humming bird
Principalpoop: give it a hummer
Dexter Fong sings "If I hadda hummer..."
Tor Hershman: I've gat a Internet Explorere canot display the wevpage in lieu of The Waiting Room
Tor Hershman: I can't see BUT can send, methinks
||||||||| A time machine materializes at 9:33 PM and llanwydd bounds out, carrying a grape from ancient Greece.
Tor Hershman: Ah, that's better
llanwydd: hiya keedos
c's: one tjhing about seeing them do this live, to see how much they enjoy saying their lines
Tor Hershman: Howdy do, LL
Dexter Fong: Hi llan
Principalpoop: llan has a grape too
c's: hey llan
Principalpoop: that would be cool c
Bambi: hey llan
llanwydd: I've proof I've been to ancient grease
Dexter Fong: Rancid?
Principalpoop: no, that was my ham
c's: you have over proof retsina?
Dexter Fong: Are you hamstringing me along Poop?
llanwydd: yes, I'm ouzing with retsin
Principalpoop: pork, the other white meat
Dexter Fong: Pork the other white meat!!
Principalpoop: when you come to the fork in the road, take it
llanwydd: the devil horse?
c's: but leave the spoon
Dexter Fong: Robert Johnson?
Principalpoop: deviled eggs
Dexter Fong: Fra Diavalo
Principalpoop: hand me the pliers
Dexter Fong: Here, take this Popeil 9 way wrist spanner
Principalpoop: 9 ways? wow hehe
c's: they had fun tlkaing about names for their records duirng the q&a on sat aft
llanwydd: catherwood hands principalpoop the pliers
||||||||| Catherwood rushes up to llanwydd and says "My ears are burning..."
Tor Hershman: ear canal must hae dred
Tor Hershman: 1 hand typin,'
Principalpoop: an earry canal
Dexter Fong: The ear I Eee Canal
c's: ossman talked about the tv picture shrinking you'd have to fix with pliars, which also held dwarf joints, and the story of the dwarves from wiz of oz wokring in factories making plane wings
Tor Hershman: good one, poop
c's: bergman said he was just making that up, it was just something funny someone said
Principalpoop: i thought it was a marijuana cigarette reference
c's: that too, poop.
||||||||| Catherwood accompanies Dr. Headphones in through the front door at 9:42 PM, picks up his cues (only slightly scorched), and heads for the billiard room.
Principalpoop: using pliers to hold the roach and smoke it, instead of crushing it
c's: bergmans point was that originally it had no meaning
Principalpoop: before the time of bongs
c's: hi kend
Dr. Headphones: good morning, afternoon, or evening
Dexter Fong: Hey Kend
llanwydd: Hey Kend
Tor Hershman: owdy do dr.
Bambi: hey Ken ... long time no see ... hello dear friend :-)
Principalpoop: ahh doctor, give me something for my cough
Dr. Headphones: yes, went to bed early for many years. now i'm unemployed
Principalpoop: how american of you
Dexter Fong: Again, Ken?
Principalpoop: good to see you among the riff-raff again
Dr. Headphones: well, dex, this job lasted almost 3 years. got the boot just in time for crappy new year
c's: i hope only temporary
Dr. Headphones: forgot thursday for a couple of weeks, remembered tonight
Dexter Fong: Me too
c's: its nice to be remembered
Dr. Headphones: well, c's, if it's not temporary, i may have to come live with you
Bambi: sorry to hear that Ken
Principalpoop: best of luck ken, most folks here find jobs again pretty fast
Bambi: (about the loss of employment)
Merlyn: yeah, that sucks ken
Dr. Headphones: PP, i'm riding the unemployment insurance train for a couple of months. why the f*** not?
Bambi: and here I thought 2010 would be better than 2009 ... but ...
Tor Hershman: Ahhhh, back to two-hand typin'. I just finished massssss, errrrr.....I mean......finished a bowl of Post shreddred wheat and bran.
Dr. Headphones: i spend the days trying to teach myself MySQL thinking maybe it will help me out
Dr. Headphones: tor, this too shall pass ;)
Tor Hershman: As shall your non-workin' status, Doc.
llanwydd: So Quit Looking
Tor Hershman: See if can "Ride" for a couple of decades. Gad, remember when we had a couple of decades?
Principalpoop: how is your SQL?
Dr. Headphones: on a happy note, someone you guys don't know but i do has a sister who is missionary in haiti. lost her phone during the quake, took two days to get in touch with the family, she's OK
c's: must be a relief, kend
Dr. Headphones: two days with no word had everyone on the edge of their chairs
llanwydd: good to hear, ken
Principalpoop: tough 2 days for them, lots of folks lost
Tor Hershman: Hey, my tea is ready
Dr. Headphones: cream, no sugar
Principalpoop: roll a couple of bombers and leave on the side board tor
llanwydd: shaken not stirred
Dr. Headphones: yes, PP, and i've heard the naysayers already; "Why don't we help the people here instead of sending $100M there?"
Dr. Headphones: the truth of the matter is that $100M here would give each American about 30 cents....
Tor Hershman: Right, Doc, milk & no sugar
Principalpoop: hey, but we are safe from al queda after 2 wars and a trillion dollars
Dr. Headphones: but are we safe from underwear????
Tor Hershman: 30 CENTS!!!!!!!
Dexter Fong: Poop? Safe? Look behind you
Dexter Fong: Quick
Tor Hershman: 30 PHUCKIN' CENTS!!!!!!
Principalpoop: i won't look, I won't
||||||||| A time machine materializes at 9:51 PM and Bunnyboy bounds out, carrying a grape from ancient Greece.
Bunnyboy: Howdee!
Bambi: hey Bunny]
Dr. Headphones: hi, Bb
Dexter Fong Notices Tor is overwhelmed by the sudden wealth
c's: hey bun
Dexter Fong: Hi Bun
c's: back in 2 dimensions again
Tor Hershman: Howdy do, BB
Principalpoop: another grape, soon we have a what you call it, clump, cluster
Dr. Headphones: when life gives you grapes, make prunes
Tor Hershman: You got that right, Dex
llanwydd: LOL, Ken
Principalpoop: sour grapes makes whine
Bunnyboy: Yup, flat again.
Tor Hershman: Fig it, Doc
llanwydd: that's an aesop's fable, princ
llanwydd: that's the way I fig it
Dr. Headphones: any big news i need to know from the past few years?
c's: firesing is on tour again
Bambi: we missed ya?
Principalpoop: a black man is president, honest, I am not making this up
Bunnyboy: Sooo, cat, Merlyn and I won't be rubbin' it in about how AWESOME the Whidbey shows were...
Dexter Fong: Building bon fires abd toasting marshmallows
Dr. Headphones: yeah, cat, i get some of the emails. never get to this neck of the woods. maybe i need to move to the elbow of the woods?
||||||||| Catherwood strides up and snorts derisively "Presenting 'FlatTweenSociety', just granted probation at 9:54 PM", then leaves hurriedly.
c's: the lads were in fine form
llanwydd: has it been that long, ken?
Tor Hershman: Howdy do, Flat
Dr. Headphones: Pp: SAY IT AIN'T SO! ;)
Principalpoop: wb tween
Dr. Headphones: hey, kurt
Dexter Fong: WB Tween
FlatTweenSociety: Lo dere, all
llanwydd: Hey Tween
Bunnyboy: ya Tween
Principalpoop: some say it ain't say, that he was born in Kenya hehe
c's: tween
Bambi: wb Tween :-)
Dr. Headphones: from nairobi? isn't everybody?
c's: i asked austin about austin. looks like they'll stick to the west coast til they make enough money to go east, meaing nyc
Principalpoop: le dere? who was the fat white guy with afro hair who said that?
c's: if a series of show in maybe phoenix and some other texas cities happened, it wuold interest them more
Dr. Headphones: austin (city in texas, not the man) is full of crazies--it should work there
Bunnyboy: So, I saw a TV ad this morning for Cheech and Chong's latest tour leg...
Principalpoop: roanoke civic center or the salem civic center, borat was there
llanwydd: those guys are still together?
Dexter Fong: afkfr
c's: they seem to want to work
Bunnyboy: They're playing casinos! I tell ya...Future Fair Tour at Fairs...I'm just sayin'...
c's: hainvg lots of fun together on stage
Dr. Headphones: cheech and chong's last appearance in detroit was way pricey. the back floor was $200 or more
Tor Hershman: Cheech & Chong - brought to you by The DEA
c's: their audience was much bigg than firesigns, alas
FlatTweenSociety: back
Principalpoop: they have big legal bills
Principalpoop: wb
FlatTweenSociety: Yeah, Austin would be the perfect city in TX for the boyz
llanwydd: $200? I honestly wouldn't pay that to see FST
llanwydd: or anyone else
Principalpoop: who would you pay 200 to see llan?
Tor Hershman: Jimmy's on crack - and I don't care - Jimmy's on crack - & I don't care - Jimmy's on crack - & moi don't careeeeeeeee he works for the DEA
Bunnyboy: Did you hear that, Dame Judi Dench? llan won't pay!
FlatTweenSociety: lol Tor
llanwydd: got dat raht
c's: we got our $35 worth for both shows
Tor Hershman: I wouldn't/couldn't pay 200 to view moi
Tor Hershman: I can't afford me
Dr. Headphones: hell, i wouldn't pay a quarter to see me
Tor Hershman: me can't afford I
Tor Hershman: me said to iself, "Moi....."
FlatTweenSociety: Speaking of, Tor - Why Journalist Gary Webb Died - http://www.lewrockwell.com/orig11/parry1.html
Principalpoop: steady tor
||||||||| Catherwood enters the room, strikes a gong, and bellows "THE TIME IN NEW YORK IS 10 O'CLOCK", then silently exits.
Dr. Headphones: i see catherwood still can't tell time
||||||||| Catherwood says "It's 10:01 PM, exactly!"
llanwydd: I wouldn't pay $200 to see every great act in the world on the same night in the astrodome
c's: they mentinoed that the album title came from that line in the play, not before
Dr. Headphones: ok, woody, that's better
llanwydd: but it would be quite a show
Principalpoop: which album?
Bunnyboy: Saw a fine flick last night: THE HURT LOCKER.
c's: bozos, the one they're doing now on cni
FlatTweenSociety: and - Obama and Afghanistan Like Vietnam, this is a drug-driven war. - http://www.lewrockwell.com/orig11/scott-pd1.1.1.html
Principalpoop: which cni?
FlatTweenSociety: Catherwood, please give Mr. Roadkill something for his cough
||||||||| Catherwood gives mr roadkill something for his cough.
llanwydd: that's an awkward sounding name for a film, whatever it means
Dr. Headphones: give him a quarter, catherwood
||||||||| Catherwood hands him a quarter.
FlatTweenSociety: hehe
Tor Hershman: The Hurt Locker" ???
Principalpoop: Al Hurt or that other guy?
Bambi: hehehe
Bambi: Catherwood, give Tween a roll of tokens
||||||||| Catherwood gives tween a roll of tokens.
Dr. Headphones: any of you guys on facebook (besides kurt) who want to add me: ken at kdebusk dot com
Bunnyboy: That's Al HIRT...and he's...ehrh, dead.
Principalpoop: I am a nobody, no face to speak of
||||||||| Catherwood accompanies Elayne in through the front door at 10:04 PM, picks up his cues (only slightly scorched), and heads for the billiard room.
Dr. Headphones: i check in there a couple times a day. haven't checked to see if FST has a page or not
Elayne: Wow, is it Thursday already? Evenin' all!
Principalpoop: Hi E
Dr. Headphones: hello, E
llanwydd: awkward titles: noises off, greater tuna, the bad sleep well, the joy luck club
llanwydd: Hi Elayne
Dexter Fong: Hi E
c's: will do, kendhey el
Tor Hershman: Gad, moi is unfond of FaceBook. Garage Band made me a page there and I added a photo BUT that was my first and last visit there.
Dr. Headphones: tor, the best thing to be said about facebook is that it's light years ahead of myspace
Elayne: I'm resigned to Facebook, most of my relatives are there and we communicate more there than we do in person. :)
c's: the firelads use it to promote their news
Bunnyboy: lo El!
Dexter Fong: So there's a drawback right there Elayne
c's: austin said he wants to come back to chat sometime
Dr. Headphones: i guess i'm lucky in that i don't do the farm, vampire, or mafia stuff
Principalpoop: there should be enough naked pictures of me floating around from the old bbs boards
ah,clem: hi Ken,
Elayne: Hey! I like my relatives!
ah,clem: been a long time
c's: i think all the lads are thinking more now of promoting their work
Dr. Headphones: howdy, JL, ltns
Tor Hershman: Perhaps, Doc. Moi does have a MySpace page. Sayin' Moi's MySpace sounds, to moi, less dorky than My MySpace
Elayne: Robin's niece is a real looker. I think she's 17. Really beautiful girl.
Elayne: I don't think I ever met her, so it's kinda nice that we "meet" through Facebook. She sought me out. How cool is that?
c's: elayne, the latest news on proctor's page, which is also what ausitn told me, is they want to play nyc as soon as they can afford to
Dexter Fong: Tor: Hell, why not call it MoiSpace
Elayne: Cat, does that mean "as soon as Phil can work up the energy to drive across the country with the dogs"?
Dr. Headphones: or, for fish, KoiSpace
Principalpoop: sweet, my neice and nephew have only heard their uncle referred to in hushed tones
c's: there's a lot going on, and not just dogs
Dexter Fong: Vegetarians.vist PoiSpace
Elayne: As long as nothing is going TO the dogs, I guess that's okay then.
Principalpoop: they might go east, 2011
Dr. Headphones: dex, you sure that's not SoySpace? ;)
Tor Hershman: When the old hag allowed the Jehovaha's Witnesses, the old had was baby sittin', to go through our apartment (Way back when) they got some polariods WifeyWuMammyMater and moi had taken
c's: first thing oona said to me when we met was how well austin and bergman were getting along these days
c's: i think they want to take advantage of this era of good feeling to do some work together
Dexter Fong: Kend< dunno I'm in my JoySpace
Dr. Headphones: "the era of good feeling" has a nice ring to it
Principalpoop: going senile ehhh? hehe
Tor Hershman: A couple of 'em, pic NOT JWs, were okay
Principalpoop: alzheimers, they forget to hold the grudge hehe
Principalpoop: sorry c
c's: they seem to realize theyt're too old to be fighting when they could be creating
Dr. Headphones: hell, with alzheimer's you forget how to hold a fork
Elayne: But Cat, "Creating Clowns" doesn't really have the same ring to it...
Principalpoop: we spoke of the fork earlier, keep up ken
c's: lol el
Dr. Headphones: sorry, lost my place on the script....
llanwydd: alzheimer's will be a thing of the past in a few years
Tor Hershman: SDI = Strategically Dead Icon
c's: so will everything else
Dr. Headphones: yeah, llan, everyone keeps using cell phones
Principalpoop: that ring cost 5 thousand dollars
llanwydd: this regenerative medicine is amazing. who would ever have dreamed of it
Tor Hershman: C ;-)
llanwydd: LOL, Cat
llanwydd: catherwood, would you shovel my driveway, please?
||||||||| Catherwood shovels llanwydd's driveway.
llanwydd: thanks, cathy
Principalpoop: how much snow llan?
Dr. Headphones: hey, it got above freezing here today, lots of noise from icicles from the eaves falling
Bambi: that's great news Ken
Tor Hershman: Here too, Dr.
Dr. Headphones: first day this warm (?) in several weeks
Elayne: Yeah, it might not even go down below freezing here tonight!
Bambi: yep, here too
Bunnyboy: Rain, rain, rain in Seattle.
Dr. Headphones: well, our forecast for overnight is 28 and freezing rain. bummer....
Bambi: the chickens told us it was coming ... funny thing those chickens
Dr. Headphones: chickens are good! (fried, roasted, toasted, broasted, etc.)
Dexter Fong: Rubber chickenes is real funny
FlatTweenSociety: Low of 52 tonight here hehehe
Bambi: yeah, 25F overnight here too but the days and nights will get increasingly closer to 50
Principalpoop: beach party at tweens house
Bunnyboy: Chicken aint' nuthin' but a bird.
Dr. Headphones: tween, you sound like my mother in florida. she calls me when it's 6 degrees here moaning about how it was so cold there, almost 40
c's: we were expecting rain on saturday but instead sun.
c's: took pix around langley at www.seemrealland.blogspot.com
Dr. Headphones: you got rain on sunday or sun on saturday?
Dexter Fong: I thought todat was thursday
Dexter Fong: It was
Tor Hershman: Beach Party Vietnan - Dead Milkmen, methinks
c's: also audience on sat seemed in better mood, minus all that rain
Bunnyboy: The master stroke of the latest live show: planting DWARF in the middle of ELECTRICIAN.
c's: last saturday in langley, washington with the firesign show
Elayne: My mom's the opposite, Dr. H. She loves to brag about the relatively balmy weather in Vegas.
Dr. Headphones: how deep did they plant the dwarf?
Elayne: If you plant a dwarf, they must not grow very tall.
c's: now instead of the boys being in korea, they're in Yemen
Dr. Headphones: yeah, elayne, she does that too. loves to call on christmas day almost every year to tell me the AC is on
Elayne: Isn't everybody, Cat?
Bunnyboy: The DWARF elements that didn't make the cut: the Tirebiter Camden N200R / Revival stuff, and *gasp* no George Leroy Tirebiter (the old coot).
Tor Hershman: The Yomen are in Yeman
Bambi: lol
Principalpoop: pull the curtain fred
c's: they recut their old albums for all their shows
c's: and the yes men are in....?
Dr. Headphones: no man's land
Dexter Fong: Noman
Dexter Fong: Beteer than mine Kend =))
Tor Hershman: Vegar ISSSSSSSSSS Nomad - what a rip.
Principalpoop: Norman Normal
Dr. Headphones: dex, the old neurons still have a spark or three in them ;)
Dexter Fong: Those aren't sparks Kend, theyre quarks and bosuns
Dr. Headphones: i need a bosun's mate here--been a long dry spell
Tor Hershman: up down and many flavors
Principalpoop: i thought those sparks were just flashbacks
Dexter Fong: It's your turn in the barrel though
Dr. Headphones: i like the lucky charmed quarks myself. magically delicious
Elayne: Sorry I can't stay longer, folks, I'm bushed. Next week.
||||||||| 10:23 PM -- Elayne left for parts unknown.   (Entry from Nick Danger's "Idiots I Have Been Paid To Follow").
Principalpoop: ciao E
c's: by el
Tor Hershman: Nite El
Bunnyboy: Nitey El...oh, poof.
Principalpoop: got you again llan
llanwydd: sdfghjkl
Dexter Fong: I say if Elayne can't wait a sed for a proper goodbye...
Dexter Fong: sec
Dr. Headphones: triple sec!
Dexter Fong: Hmpff
llanwydd: that is properly spelled Harumph, Dex
Principalpoop: that guy didn't hmpff, make him hmpff
Tor Hershman: hmpff hmpff
Principalpoop: guffaw
Dr. Headphones: kerfuffle
Bunnyboy: Give the Governor a...hand.
Dexter Fong: llan: Didn't deserve the full treatment
llanwydd: lol
Bambi: I didn't get a harumph out of that guy...
Dr. Headphones: brouhaha
Dr. Headphones: ha ha
Bunnyboy: Ah ah ah!
Tor Hershman: Mine's defective
Dr. Headphones: bambi, one of my fav movies of all times
Bunnyboy wags the finger.
Principalpoop: I was paraphrasing i am sorry
Bunnyboy: (as Guv) You watch your ass!
llanwydd: brouhaha balderdash ballyhoo
Bambi :-) Ken
Dexter Fong: I don't have to watch my ass, I've got a spotter
Bunnyboy: bumgardner.
Principalpoop: that and young frankenstein
Dexter Fong: Poop: How about "The Hurt Locker"
Bambi: it's alive! it's alive!
Tor Hershman: "The Producers" the original - not that other thingy
Principalpoop: we need more pep
Tor Hershman: genius
llanwydd: I hate that title. It's confusing
Dr. Headphones: mel is a national treasure
llanwydd: I'm just going to assume its another language
Principalpoop: no matter what I say, or how loudly I yell, don't open the door
Bunnyboy: I figured it would happen, but I was so pleased when Bergman responded to the "So YOU don't GO to school?" line.
c's: and was recognized as such recently, kend
Bunnyboy: "Heck, no! I'm 70 years old!
c's: as he is indeed, bunny
Principalpoop: that is the spirit we have here
llanwydd: but you WERE in school 55 years ago
Tor Hershman: FS should get a KCH
Dr. Headphones: KCH?
c's: later in the bar, he said his 20 year old daugther is keeping him young, wants to introduce other seniors to her music
Tor Hershman: or a KFC
Bunnyboy: I remember what a zoo the early 90s versions of The Poop's speech were.
Dexter Fong: King Charles Hound?
Tor Hershman: Kennedy Center Honer
c's: that would have been this one, bunny
Tor Hershman: Oh, Dex, you're a card
Dexter Fong: Your Honor you mean
c's: this is the 94 tour, unless you mean the 93 one?
Principalpoop: the whole deck
Bunnyboy: cat: Yes, indeed.
Dexter Fong: 93 or 94?
Bambi: the poop deck?
Bunnyboy: 94, yes.
c's: that was their first show ina long time, as i recall
Principalpoop: in principle, yes
Tor Hershman: kapow
llanwydd: Karl Clock's House
c's: 93, right?
Bambi: how many cards you got in that deck?
Dexter Fong: How many you want?
Bunnyboy: They left it open for EVERYONE to scream at Poop...and everyone did.
c's: i saw them in seattle when they had that spontaneous transportation museum thing
Principalpoop: a whole deck but not playing with a full deck
Dexter Fong: A stripped deck we call it in the trade
FlatTweenSociety: Catherwood, plese tell Dex to Go Fish
||||||||| Catherwood ignores FlatTweenSociety
Principalpoop: 3 no trump
Bunnyboy: cat: Wasn't their last tour (before 1993-94) the "Lawyer's Hospital" tour, about 1982-83?
Dexter Fong: Catherwood, please give tween the finger
||||||||| Catherwood gives tween the finger.
llanwydd: I guess cather wouldn't
Bambi: 156 cards would do nicely
c's: i think so, bun. i was in japan in those days
c's: i last saw them in 69 in la
Bunnyboy: What wouldn't Catherwood do?
||||||||| Catherwood walks right past Bunnyboy
FlatTweenSociety: Catherwood, please give Dex the Fickle Finger Of Fate
||||||||| Catherwood gets dex the fickle finger of fate.
Principalpoop: playing canasta?
Dexter Fong: Bambi: Okay, that's 64 down and 23 up cards for you
llanwydd: what kind of deck has 156 cards?
Dexter Fong: Ab upper deck
Bunnyboy: You bet your sweet bippy!
Bambi: triple decker
Dexter Fong: And we play really fast
Principalpoop: no bunny no, sock it to you
llanwydd: we don't play fast
Dr. Headphones: well, my dear friends, i'm sitting here about to nod off. maybe i'll remember next week. TTFN
llanwydd: Nite Kend
Principalpoop: and loose
Bunnyboy: (juts out jaw, slouches) Sock it to ME?
c's: ok kend, all the best with job search
FlatTweenSociety: Rest well. DrH
Bambi: ttfn ken :-)
Dexter Fong: Night Kend, glad to see you
||||||||| Dr. Headphones hurries out the back door as Mayor P'nisnose blasts through the front door holding a shotgun and shouting "Where's Dr. Headphones?! It's 10:34 PM and my ballot boxes haven't been stuffed yet!"
Principalpoop: good luck ken, super seeing you in here again
Bambi: will look forward to seeing you again soon, maybe next week :-)
Dexter Fong: Catherwood: Please sock it to Bunny
||||||||| Catherwood steps up to Dexter Fong and mumbles "oh, fuck off Dexter Fong!"
Bunnyboy: Aw! Bye, kend!
Dexter Fong: Treacherous Catherwood
||||||||| Catherwood walks alongside Dexter Fong and mumbles "Do you have something for me to do?"
FlatTweenSociety: By the way, if you're not on Ken's joke mailing list, you're missing out on some very fun stuff. Be sure to drop him and email and request to join.
Bunnyboy: Aaaand it serves you right, Dex. Trying to get a bot to do your dirty work.
Principalpoop: you tell him, hah
Dexter Fong: Bunny: I'm sorry...I broke Aasimov's First law fo robotics
FlatTweenSociety: Never give a bot an even break?
Bunnyboy: "Issac's dead. We're changing it!"
Dexter Fong: Poop: Your just mad 'cause you couldn't get Cwood to do *your* dirty workj
Bambi waves hello to Clem :-)
Principalpoop: catherwood, tell dexter fong to go jump in the lake
||||||||| Catherwood strides up to Principalpoop and inquires "Do you have something for me to do?"
Dexter Fong: Ha ha
Principalpoop: the voice of ah,clem must be coming
Bambi: Catherwood, please pour me a double toasted almond
||||||||| Catherwood gets Bambi a double toasted almond.
FlatTweenSociety: Thranks much, Mr Clem :)
Principalpoop: C likes you bambi
llanwydd: can't jump in my lake. it's frozen
Principalpoop: both Cs, maybe all 3
Dexter Fong: Do a prat fall
Bambi :-) just need to know how to talk to Catherwood
||||||||| Catherwood brings to know how to talk to.
ah,clem: everybody likes Bambi
Bambi: and that's not it lol
c's: of course
Principalpoop: thank you ahh, clem and you are right
Tor Hershman: Howdy do, Clem
Bambi: awwww, that's sweet Clem :-)
Dexter Fong thinks Bambi has quite o'erwhelmed Cwood
Bambi: and princep too :-)
Tor Hershman: i izzz
c's: we always enjoy, clem
FlatTweenSociety: Everybody doesn't like something, but nobody doesn't like Bambi...
Principalpoop: toad away, live
Bambi: could be Dex lol
Dexter Fong: Thanks Clem
Bunnyboy: thanks clem!
Bambi: hmmm, a double negative is a positive, no?
Principalpoop: no no bambi
llanwydd: live DF must be very interesting
Bambi: lol
Bunnyboy: (sings like Thurl Ravenscroft) But nobody doesn't like Bamba-lee!
Bambi: lol Bunny
Bunnyboy: They did the Gary Firesign of Mr. Yamamoto piece, this weekend.
c's: so they did play the east on that tour
llanwydd: I remember that jingle, bb
c's: indeed, bun
Bunnyboy: And it was Thurl, on the jingle.
llanwydd: strange that I do. I haven't heard it since I was 10 years old
llanwydd: but I never forgot it for some reason
FlatTweenSociety: Nice set, clem :)
Dexter Fong: Perhaps it was another dream
FlatTweenSociety: That's what you call a great ad campaign, LL
Principalpoop: now toad away, cool exit dialogue
Bunnyboy: llan: Your inner ear is probably still resonating, from Thurl's voice.
Principalpoop: back to the shadows again
llanwydd: lol
c's: what would a disneyland ride be without thurl's voice?
Principalpoop: thank you ahh, clem and bambi, super cool
Tor Hershman: ttfn folks
llanwydd: Nite Tor
Dexter Fong: Night Tor
Bunnyboy: cat: A Paul Frees ride.
Bunnyboy: (sings) C;'mon, and take a Frees ride...
FlatTweenSociety: Did you all hear about Pat Robertson's pronouncement that the earth quake happened because the Hatians had made a pact with the Devil? What a dillo... (pardon my french)
Dexter Fong: Freeze Ride? Wow, ride the giant popsickle!!
Bunnyboy: Just about finished reading Daws Butler's bio.
FlatTweenSociety: http://synd.imgsrv.uclick.com/comics/po/2010/po100114.gif
llanwydd: never been to disneyland so I wouldn't know
ah,clem: have a great week everyone!
Bunnyboy: The Huffington Post had a great take on that.
Principalpoop: thanks again, you too
Bunnyboy: Seems Pat thought that the news was about an earthquake in HADES.
FlatTweenSociety: Thanks again, clem
ah,clem: dillo is not french
llanwydd: Nite Clem
||||||||| ah,clem scurries out the back door as Mayor P'nisnose blasts through the front door holding a shotgun and shouting "Where's ah,clem?! It's 10:47 PM and my ballot boxes haven't been stuffed yet!"
FlatTweenSociety: Well, you know what I meant lol
Bunnyboy: "My apologies. I'm must have sounded like an insensitive asshole."
Dexter Fong: Right Clem..neither is cretino
llanwydd: got mail. brb
FlatTweenSociety: There were supposed to be a 'd' in there ;)
Bunnyboy: Well, he can use the same logic when North Carolina slips into the Atlantic...
Dexter Fong: Hey! You cool bun man
Principalpoop: use more lube
Bunnyboy: "I'm"? Lordy, mah fingers...
FlatTweenSociety: Not NC! Moog Music has relocated there from NY
Dexter Fong: Don't point those finger at me (or you) daddyio
Bunnyboy: Tween: It's De Lawd's will!
FlatTweenSociety: But, that's the point...
Dexter Fong: Dear Friends, we are gathered to hear De Lawd's last will and testament
FlatTweenSociety wonders if Dex is ambifonguous
||||||||| It's 10:50 PM, and that means it's time to play BEAT THE REAPER! And here's how our contestants did:
||||||||| Tor Hershman - dead from the common cold
||||||||| Better luck next time! And now, back to our chatroom, which is already in progress...
FlatTweenSociety: lol Bun
Principalpoop: the eastern world it is exploding
Dexter Fong: Tween: No, but I do like a good soak
Dexter Fong: if the man busts you while you're holdin'
FlatTweenSociety: Catherwood, please give Dexter a lili pad
||||||||| Catherwood gives dexter a lili pad.
Dexter Fong: Ribbit
Principalpoop: johnny's in the basement mixing up the medicine
Dexter Fong: I'm in the outhouse looking fora medicine
Dexter Fong: nice rhyme scheme, yes?
Principalpoop: larry flynt makes cartoons about those
Principalpoop: fast on your feet fong
Bambi: ...
Principalpoop: Ribbet
Dexter Fong: Im sorry, are those my feet?
Principalpoop: count the toes, make sure
Bunnyboy: Dex: "were".
Principalpoop: webbed?
Dexter Fong: Werefeet.
Dexter Fong: Lawrence Talbot WQerefeet
Dexter Fong: Werefeet
Principalpoop: jump up and down in your blue suede shoes
Principalpoop: Rock On
Dexter Fong: No thank yah vurrymuch
Bunnyboy: Even a frog who is pure of heart, and croaks his prayers at night...
Bunnyboy: May become a WereToad...am I spelling that all right?
Dexter Fong: Thanks bunny, I took a stab at it and ereased it weel done =))
Principalpoop: Ribbett
Dexter Fong: When the autumn tide is right
Bunnyboy: You gotta be fast on yer flippers.
Principalpoop: a pinball wizard
Dexter Fong: I'm always fast on flipper
Bunnyboy: I better go feed us all. Happy week, kids!
Bambi: have a great night folks
Dexter Fong: Night Bunny
Bambi: see ya next week :-)
Principalpoop: hip hop bunny
Dexter Fong: Im' agoing too
Dexter Fong: A car to park
||||||||| Around 10:59 PM, Bunnyboy walks off into the sunset...
Principalpoop: ahh the bus, where is my token? hail rita
Principalpoop: super week all
Dexter Fong: Night Bambi, Tween, pOOP, ANDfading Cat
Principalpoop: ciaooo
||||||||| It's 11:00 PM, and that means it's time to play BEAT THE REAPER! And here's how our contestants did:
||||||||| llanwydd - dead from pneumonia
||||||||| Better luck next time! And now, back to our chatroom, which is already in progress...
||||||||| 11:00 PM -- Principalpoop left for parts unknown.   (Entry from Nick Danger's "Idiots I Have Been Paid To Follow").
Merlyn: hey, next week all
||||||||| Catherwood enters the room, strikes a gong, and bellows "THE TIME IN NEW YORK IS 11 O'CLOCK", then silently exits.
FlatTweenSociety: Good night all, and to all a good night...
||||||||| FlatTweenSociety leaves to catch the 11:01 PM train to Texas.
||||||||| "11:01 PM? I'm late!" exclaims Merlyn, who then hurries out through the french doors and down through the bushes.
||||||||| It's 11:10 PM, and that means it's time to play BEAT THE REAPER! And here's how our contestants did:
||||||||| Dexter Fong - dead from the yaws
||||||||| Bambi - dead from pneumonia
||||||||| Better luck next time! And now, back to our chatroom, which is already in progress...
||||||||| At 11:12 PM, the lights go out! Rocky Rococo's voice pierces the inky darkness: "I've got you now, c's!" Shattering glass is heard, and then the lights come back on...
||||||||| A stretch dumpster pulls up to the front door at 11:17 PM; Phil Austin gets out and signs a few autographs before entering the Waiting room.
Phil Austin: Only eight fifteen here and I only just remembered that I said I'd check in tonight. Anyway, too late, too late, for a very important date. A rabbit sitting on a mushroom or some such thing. Hi to everyone here from me. I haven't been around and I'll try to ... no way, next week we've got four shows to do. Maybe I'll remember after that. Fat chance.
||||||||| Phil Austin dashes out the back door as Mayor P'nisnose blasts through the front door holding a shotgun and shouting "Where's Phil Austin?! It's 11:22 PM and my ballot boxes haven't been stuffed yet!"
||||||||| "11:34 PM? 11:34 PM!!" says Catherwood, "Merlyn should be here by now...oh, THERE you are!" as Merlyn enters and sits at the bar.
Merlyn: AHHH!!!
Merlyn: missed phil....
||||||||| At 11:34 PM, the lights go out! Rocky Rococo's voice pierces the inky darkness: "I've got you now, Merlyn!" Shattering glass is heard, and then the lights come back on...
||||||||| Catherwood enters, and announces to all and sundry "It's 4:32 AM, time to change the log file and clean out unused rooms; please exit the chat room for a minute or two. Thank you for your patience."

The Evening's Participants:
Phil Austin
Dexter Fong
Dr. Headphones
Tor Hershman
URL References:

Rogues' Gallery:

cat_pp.jpg (5168 bytes)
PP and Cat(cease)

newbunny.jpg (4426 bytes)

capeken.jpg (7639 bytes)
kend^/Dr. Headphones

ossman+me.gif (6000 bytes)
Merlyn and Tirebiter

capedoc.jpg (6006 bytes)

newlili.jpg (6085 bytes)

freq.jpg (4441 bytes)

roto.jpg (6046 bytes)

babs_so.jpg (5555 bytes)
LeatherG & SO

nino1.jpg (5352 bytes)

tonk1.jpg (6123 bytes)

ahclem+Bambi.jpg (9500 bytes)
Ah, Clem and Bambi

old-man.gif (55478 bytes)
Compañero Señor Yämamoto

ashhar.jpg (9068 bytes)
Dexter Fong

newelayne.jpg (15.1 kbytes)

Bubba's Brain.jpg (6600 bytes)
Bubba's Brain

Bightrethighrehighre.jpg (6600 bytes)

boney.jpg (20600 bytes)

llan.jpg (13200 bytes)

tweeny.jpg (12588 bytes)

3rdmate.jpg (23157 bytes)

bobd.jpg (15000 bytes)
Bob D Caterino

Dave_Katie110-8-06.jpg (50000 bytes)
Dave & Katie

capeklok.jpg (5469 bytes)
404 - Not Found, Not Forgotten

peggy.jpg (5240 bytes)
Peggy Blisswhips

audrey.jpg (4873 bytes)
Audrey Farber

tdt.jpg (6077 bytes)
Tiny Dr. Tim
Rest In Peace, Dear Friend

And, "The Home Team"