A Firesign Chat


||||||||| Catherwood re-enters the Waiting Room and explains "This is the main discussion room which is logged each night."
||||||||| Catherwood announces, "The time is 4:33 AM - I now declare Thursday's chat log for May 06, 2010 officially open!"... and then, he retires back to the vestibule...
||||||||| Catherwood stumbles in and pipes up "Presenting 'Fireball', just granted probation at 7:02 AM", then leaves hurriedly.


My, it will be pleasant to ‘ave you ‘ere!
I’ve not had any company in this dank and dismal cell
for forty long
and miserable years.
[Reading] I was imprisoned by a faceless people
for a crime
of which I had no knowledge
and certainly did not commit.
But what of that?
In me spare time,
I have been pursuing me ‘obby,
which is writin’ a Great Prison Novel.

In the beginning,
I wrote with an ink composed of parts of me own blood.
However, this would not make an acceptable carbon,
so I acquired an electric typewriter.
I am proud to present you
with the first edition of me saga
of eternal torment
(profusely illustrated)

titled “Leather Thighs”!


No, no, no!

Don’t you guys see?

The System is here for your protection!

I’m not afraid!

All I want is a chance to clear my name!

Look, we live and operate under the Due Process of Law.

The Innocent have nothing to fear.

Only the Guilty will suffer!


Last week,

our Patient successfully survived the common cold,
dengue fever,

and the yaws . . .

||||||||| Fireball leaves to catch the 7:05 AM train to Bellingham.
||||||||| Gusts of wind blow in from outside and the thumpa-thumpa-thumpa of helicopter blades is heard as Happy Panditt's chopper lands on the lawn and RedPillTweeny falls out at 4:19 PM.
||||||||| It's 4:30 PM, and that means it's time to play BEAT THE REAPER! And here's how our contestants did:
||||||||| RedPillTweeny - dead from jaundice
||||||||| Better luck next time! And now, back to our chatroom, which is already in progress...
||||||||| With a theatrical clearing of his throat, Catherwood snorts derisively: "7:52 PM and late as usual, it's ah,clem, just back from Billville."
||||||||| New CNI streaming notice: '"no few minutes tonight, see you next week"'
||||||||| ah,clem is defenestrated just as the clock strikes 7:54 PM.
||||||||| Outside, the 8:29 PM crosstown bus from Hellmouth pulls away, leaving Polling Stones coughing in a cloud of diesel fumes.
||||||||| It's 8:40 PM, and that means it's time to play BEAT THE REAPER! And here's how our contestants did:
||||||||| Polling Stones - dead from the fiddlers
||||||||| Better luck next time! And now, back to our chatroom, which is already in progress...
||||||||| Catherwood strides in with a trumpet, plays a fanfare, and proclaims "Nine PM on Thursday, May 06, 2010 - I now declare alt.comedy.firesgn-thtre's chat officially open!" -- then he looks around at the empty room, looks at his watch, and mumbles "...am I early?"
||||||||| With a theatrical clearing of his throat, Catherwood intones: "9:01 PM and late as usual, it's RadioFreeTweeny, just back from Texas."
||||||||| Gusts of wind blow in from outside and the thumpa-thumpa-thumpa of helicopter blades is heard as Happy Panditt's chopper lands on the lawn and Dexter Fong gets out at 9:01 PM.
RadioFreeTweeny: Evenin' all
Dexter Fong: Hello
Dexter Fong: Hello
Dexter Fong: Helo
Dexter Fong: Hi Tweeny
RadioFreeTweeny: Ed Stiffner?
Dexter Fong: Oh foo, no CNI tonight
||||||||| Catherwood steals into the room, and pipes up "Announcing 'cease', also known as 'Nancy' -- the time is 9:03 PM" -- then he slowly retires back into the Aviary...
RadioFreeTweeny: NO??
Dexter Fong: Hi Cat
Dexter Fong: No CNI tonight
RadioFreeTweeny: Was just chatting with JL earlier
RadioFreeTweeny: Huh
Dexter Fong: Maybe it was something you said
cease: i hope ah clem is well
Dexter Fong: Ask Tweeny
RadioFreeTweeny: He didn't
Dexter Fong: Didn't what?
RadioFreeTweeny: He didn't mention that he was feeling poorly
cease: he says it'll be back next week.
RadioFreeTweeny: I'm in the CNI chat right now seeing if I can get some info
Dexter Fong: So...he has no legitimate excuse for this breach of contract
RadioFreeTweeny: OK, well, his health has been pretty shaky since he caught Lyme disease
RadioFreeTweeny: Maybe just really tired
RadioFreeTweeny: lol Dex
RadioFreeTweeny: A class-action suit, that's what I say!
||||||||| 9:07 PM: Merlyn jumps out of the hall closet saying "I've been listening to all of you talking about me for the past year and a half!"
Dexter Fong: Well, at least he won't get scurvy
Merlyn: a class action zoot suit
Dexter Fong: Olla Vato!!
Dexter Fong: You can't say that kinda stuff in Arizona no more
RadioFreeTweeny: Very classy, Merlyn
Dexter Fong: Gimme a one-way ticket to Pachucoville
cease: we could listen to raido free oz, if you havent heard it
Dexter Fong: Okay, where do I sign up
cease: i coulndt get in to the usual site today but there are other ways in
cease: http://www.facebook.com/l/82644;rfo.chromiumswitch.org
Dexter Fong: You mean a ......back door?
cease: phil fountain said oz is now on some podcast central thing which is where i heard it
cease: i complained about it on the rfo facebook page and tom gedwillo got back to me with the above link
Dexter Fong: I've got it and I've got it
cease: its been on for a couple of weeks now. you havent heard it b4?
RadioFreeTweeny: Podcasts and RSS feed now available for Peter Bergman's Radio Free Oz <>http://rfo.chromiumswitch.org/> . First show is Earth Day! from April 22nd.
Dexter Fong: I'm listening to Cinco de Mayo which you can't get in Arizona no more
RadioFreeTweeny: That's the email I got from CS
cease: today's show is kinda confusing. he talks about "tomorrow's show" on several occaisons but yesterday said friday's show would be a repeat
cease: who wants to sink in mayonaise anyway
||||||||| "9:16 PM? 9:16 PM!!" says Catherwood, "catherwydd should be here by now...oh, THERE you are!" as catherwydd enters and sits on the couch.
catherwydd: sdfghjk
Dexter Fong: I'm sinking in the salsa which you also can't get in Arizona no more
cease: hi llan
catherwydd: good evening
Dexter Fong: Hey llan
catherwydd: cinco de bismark
Dexter Fong: Achtung Jefe!
catherwydd: I watched an old british film a little while ago called Edge of the World
catherwydd: it was excellent
catherwydd: it was about the manson family
catherwydd: but a different one
Dexter Fong: Mansion?
catherwydd: I keep getting this film clip on my screen
catherwydd: no it was about a scottish island that had to be evacuated
catherwydd: the main characters were named Manson
catherwydd: I recommend the film actually
cease: why is this manson family famous?
catherwydd: I'm sorry. I'm monopolizing the coversation
catherwydd: e
Dexter Fong: I'm sorry llan, were you saying something?
catherwydd: good question, cease
Dexter Fong wonders what Tweeny is up to
catherwydd: I watched an italian movie called Bicycle Thieves last night and that was excellent as well
cease: i saw that long ago. it was depressing then, probably still is
Dexter Fong: llan: That's an old Italian Classic, De Sica was it?
catherwydd: but it has an important message
Dexter Fong: Don't be stealing Bikes
catherwydd: right, dex
catherwydd: I've still got another de sica film to watch called Umberto D. I'll probably get to that on saturday
Dexter Fong: Are you like running through all the old but important Italian Films
cease: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/David_Chang_%28chef%29
Dexter Fong: Rome Open City
catherwydd: catching up on them
Dexter Fong: Cat: What's that link for?
cease: david chang, the hottest chef in nyc.
Dexter Fong: Not sushi then
cease: yuoung korean guy. i first heard about him in new yorker profile, then an interview with charlie rose
catherwydd: all I get is a white screen
cease: the koreans are WAY into meat.
Merlyn: hot as in spicy?
cease: ssam bar is the only one of his restaurants to make the list of world's best restaurants
Dexter Fong: Warm deliscious drink of meat
cease: i dont eat meat very often, but i'd certainly like to see what chang can do, and why he's so revered
Merlyn: paul is revered
Merlyn: http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/IncrediblyLamePun
Dexter Fong: Both as a silversmith and horseman
catherwydd: interesting. I knew a korean named david chung
cease: is he the hottest chef in nyc?
catherwydd: no relation I'm sure but I guess koreans like the name david
cease: maybe it encourages them against japan and china goliaths
Dexter Fong: They also like Moon and Park
Dexter Fong: David Chang's Moon Park Dinner
Dexter Fong: or is it Moon Pork
catherwydd: good one, cease
cease: is tween off talking to clem?
catherwydd: strange there are so few of us tonight
Dexter Fong: Yes
Dexter Fong: Dunno Cat
cease: very sparsely attended
catherwydd: that wmv just popped up again. I don't know why I'm getting that
catherwydd: then I get an error message saying it won't play
Merlyn: wmv?
RadioFreeTweeny: It is indeed a small room
Dexter Fong: Weapons of mass vegetation
cease: looks like those new folks we got from the sunday chat have all gone away
Dexter Fong: Yeah
Dexter Fong: Well BloodyL being in England and all that.......
cease: just like stones
catherwydd: just got it again. windows media viewer
cease: i hope honey is ok
Dexter Fong: Stones seems to have far more flexible hours
Dexter Fong participates in the awkward pause
catherwydd: you just said the awk word
Dexter Fong: awk scuse meeeeeee!!
Dexter Fong: What I don't understand is that Tweeny has been absent a long time but he hasn't turned gray and gotten reaped
catherwydd: he probably found the fountain of youth like ponce de leon
cease: phil fountain? doing great graphic work for rfo
cease: the highlight of the site
Dexter Fong: Fill the fountain.....kiss that girl
catherwydd: you don't need to phil the fountain. its already phull
||||||||| Outside, the 9:48 PM crosstown bus from Washington pulls away, leaving Bunnyboy coughing in a cloud of diesel fumes.
Bunnyboy: Greets
cease: is anyone else having trouble getting into the regular rfo site?
Dexter Fong: Hiyah BB
cease: hi bunny
catherwydd: Hey BB
Dexter Fong: Cat: I used the link you posted...got right in
Bunnyboy: I'm streaming the last 3, count 'em 3, RFOs.
Dexter Fong: At once?
Bunnyboy: Oops. I should say *downloading* same...
cease: yes dex that's tom's link. its good, as is that podcast empire thing
Bunnyboy: iTunes.
Dexter Fong: ah *downloading*
Merlyn: yes cat, I can't get the regular RFO website
cease: can yo still get into the old rfo site, bun?
cease: so maybe it
Merlyn: but my iTunes has downloaded 4 podcasts
cease: it's offline now, we're all supposed to go to tom's site or this other commercial thing
Bunnyboy: ...'cause the other thing...that's an old stoner trick. Or beat. Or dada.
Merlyn: the podcasting site is not the rfo website
Bunnyboy: Or...What You Will.
cease: would there be a firesign theatre without dada?
Dexter Fong: Being of sound mind and body I hereby bequeath
catherwydd: dada is absurdism. firesign is not
Dexter Fong: Reduction ad absurdem, eh llan?
catherwydd: all their material has a meaning even when it sounds absurd
||||||||| A time machine materializes at 9:53 PM and Principalpoop bounds out, carrying a grape from ancient Greece.
Principalpoop: good evening
Dexter Fong: Hey Poop
cease: or you could say that dada was a reaction to ww1, firesign to the vietnam war
catherwydd: Hey Prncpl
cease: hi poop
Bunnyboy: wydd: Q.E.D.
Bunnyboy: lo poop!
cease: in one of the hour hours, they talk about dada at yale and it obviously had an influence on proctor and bergman
catherwydd: quit eating donuts?
Bunnyboy: Bunnette snagged us tix to see CANDIDE, at the 5th Avenue Theatre, in Seattle.
Dexter Fong: lol llan
cease: i hpe everyone is enjoying the hour hours jive is broadcasting on sunday nights. there've been 16 of them now
Bunnyboy: Mmmmm...
Principalpoop: without dada and mama none of us would be here
catherwydd: well, I can see the influence
cease: great book, bun
Dexter Fong: Cat: !16! wow!!
Dexter Fong: thats 32 hours
Bunnyboy: cat: I concur.
Dexter Fong: of nearly virgin FST
catherwydd: that damn wmp again
cease: 15 of them are about 90 minutes long, one only 35 minutes for some reason
Principalpoop: who are you calling a wimp? please? sir? I am sorry I asked sir. nevermind
Dexter Fong: Cat: I hope you been recording them and transferring them to cd (hopefully) or mp3
Dexter Fong: Cat: The one that's 35 minutes may be the one where they played Dwarf
Bunnyboy: The Bernstein version they're mounting is a new, successful re-working, originally staged a few years ago in Scotland. First timers in the States.
cease: they're too long to put on cds as wavs unless i cut them up, dex
Dexter Fong: Cat: Yeah I can see....
cease: i tried to put one on a dvd put my burner/software wouldnt do it
Principalpoop: hard to cut cds, you need a laser
Dexter Fong: Or the jaws of life/death
Principalpoop: the guy who wrote jaws was robert benchleys son, what a world
Merlyn: oh, that benchley?
Dexter Fong: poop: yep
cease: most youngens would have no idea who robert benchley was, poop
Merlyn: a friend of mine has some You Bet Your Life episodes on 16mm
catherwydd: and it wouldn't have become a classic if it weren't for his name
Principalpoop: llan has many neighbors like him, probably
Dexter Fong: I used to go to after school activity with him
||||||||| It's 10:00 PM, and that means it's time to play BEAT THE REAPER! And here's how our contestants did:
||||||||| RadioFreeTweeny - dead from measles
||||||||| Better luck next time! And now, back to our chatroom, which is already in progress...
Merlyn: one has Phyllis Diller's first appearance before she went into comedy
Principalpoop: with who?
Merlyn: and one has robert Bloch who won and he said he could finish his book, which turned out to be Psycho
catherwydd: neighbors like robert benchley? not quite
Dexter Fong: poop: RObert Benchley
Merlyn: don't recall pp
||||||||| Catherwood enters the room, strikes a gong, and bellows "THE TIME IN NEW YORK IS 10 O'CLOCK", then silently exits.
||||||||| "10:01 PM? 10:01 PM!!" says Catherwood, "Elayne should be here by now...oh, THERE you are!" as Elayne enters and sits on the couch.
Principalpoop: where is your answer cat???
Elayne: Evenin' all! Is it Thursday yet?
Dexter Fong: Hi E
cease: i had a few of his books. really funny
||||||||| Catherwood strides up and pipes up "Presenting 'RadioFreeTweeny', just granted probation at 10:01 PM", then leaves hurriedly.
catherwydd: Hi Elayne
Principalpoop: HI e
cease: hey el
Principalpoop: wb tween
Merlyn: sex life of a polyp
Dexter Fong: wb Tweeny, where you been, bro?
Bunnyboy: Lo Elayne!
Principalpoop: if people find you walking around your study with a paperbag over your head, telling them you were trying to cure hiccups does not go over well
Dexter Fong: poop: you could just be a disgruntled sports fan with a really bad team
catherwydd: well, can you think of a better excuse?
RadioFreeTweeny: Browser problems
Principalpoop: practicing in case I go blind??
Elayne: Hang on, be right back.
RadioFreeTweeny: How are things with you, Dex
Dexter Fong: Tween: YOu still running that down market, chop shop, privateer stuff?
cease: we'll be here
RadioFreeTweeny: lol P
catherwydd: tell them there are things you just can't bear to look at in your study
Principalpoop: hanging on
Principalpoop: barely
RadioFreeTweeny: Just a really old Powerbook
Dexter Fong: Tween, things are....interesting....interesting, but okay
Principalpoop: another good one llan
RadioFreeTweeny: Will be switching to Ubuntu soon
cease: sounds african.
RadioFreeTweeny: Sounds like the old Chinese curse, "May you live in interesting times"
RadioFreeTweeny: It think it is actually, cease
catherwydd: I speak fluent ubuntu
RadioFreeTweeny: A really god flavor of Linux which can easily replace OS X in my setup
Principalpoop: Ubuntu did not recognize my old graphics card, I would have to manually make it find and use it, i will be an idiot with plug and play instead, sorry
RadioFreeTweeny: For the internet, at least
Dexter Fong: I'm running M'tume over Monkey Monkey Gris Gris
catherwydd: it's a dialect of swahili
RadioFreeTweeny: Yeah, there are problems with Linux drivers for older hardware, P
RadioFreeTweeny: lol Dex
Dexter Fong: afkfr
Principalpoop: i have written drivers, not difficult, but you need to know what the hell you are doing
RadioFreeTweeny: Off to the kitchen myself...
Principalpoop: i don't know anymore hehe
Principalpoop: so what is the rod?
catherwydd: why are you guys afk when you've got catherwood to get you whatever you want
||||||||| Catherwood gets you whatever you want.
catherwydd: LOL
Principalpoop: lool
cease: can he piss for me?
catherwydd: and anythynge you want to as well
Principalpoop: that costs extra cat, get the Premium C
Bunnyboy: Catherwood is packing wood.
||||||||| Catherwood rushes alongside Bunnyboy and asks "Something I can help with?"
catherwydd: catherwood, get rid of that damn wmv, will you?
||||||||| Catherwood gets rid of that damn wmv will you.
Bunnyboy: No!
Bunnyboy runs away from Catherwood.
||||||||| Catherwood walks right past Bunnyboy
Bunnyboy: Phew!
Principalpoop: that was close
Principalpoop: tap tap
Dexter Fong: back
Principalpoop: wb fong
Principalpoop: how can I make my ripping retorts when no one torts
catherwydd: I think the c,d, and e are taking a toll on my left middle finger
Principalpoop: tort damn you tort
||||||||| A time machine materializes at 10:12 PM and Elayne2 bounds out, carrying a grape from ancient Greece.
Principalpoop: WB E
Elayne2: Dang, kicked myself out. Sorry about that.
catherwydd: wb, elayne
Principalpoop: stop kicking yourself
Bunnyboy: Yeah, save some of the fun for us!
Principalpoop: i would not kick somebody who was down, until they were handcuffed
cease: i heard cbc intrerview with daniel clowes today. i'd like to read his new book
catherwydd: "windows media player can not play the file that you have chosen..." I'm getting tired of this
RadioFreeTweeny: lol P
Principalpoop: get quicktime llan
cease: if "read" is the correct term.
catherwydd: sounds great. catherwood, get me quicktime
||||||||| Catherwood gets catherwydd quicktime.
Merlyn: that was quick
catherwydd: and just in time
catherwydd: who is daniel clowes. I'm not familiar
cease: grphic novelist.
catherwydd: aha
Principalpoop: i just googled him
cease: the flick ghostworld was made from one ofhis novels
Principalpoop: in the nick of time
cease: when elayne took me a comic store in nyc, i picked up one of his books
||||||||| It's 10:20 PM, and that means it's time to play BEAT THE REAPER! And here's how our contestants did:
||||||||| Elayne - dead from intense demonic possession
||||||||| Better luck next time! And now, back to our chatroom, which is already in progress...
Principalpoop: I am reading a biography of lyndon johnson, the senate years, fascinating
catherwydd: the man who would not be president
catherwydd: perhaps he would rather have been right
cease: he was pres when the firesign started
cease: they made many jokes about him
Principalpoop: sure
catherwydd: he is the first president I remember
catherwydd: I used to think his first name was president and his last name was johnson
Principalpoop: i had sticker shock looking at the prices of 'comic books now' lordy
catherwydd: till I bought the Arrow Book of Presidents in 1968 and saw his picture. then it dawned on me
Principalpoop: i recall when they went from 10 cents to 12
cease: yes, they coast as much as expensive food, poop
Principalpoop: that is an idea, name your son or daughter president...
catherwydd: a foot-long stick of bubble gum was only a nickel
cease: firesign hada play where lbj kills rfk
catherwydd: Big Buddy, it was called
Dexter Fong: Keep getting times out
cease: dont think i ever heard it but proc talks about it occasionally
Principalpoop: they had a gig in DC i think, when JFK was shot
cease: no, reagan was shot
Bunnyboy: I actually paid 6 bucks for the first issue of HUSK, a French import from the Marvel folks. Lotsa pages, but sheesh!
Principalpoop: oops ok
Principalpoop: which time? oh that was ford
catherwydd: no, there was no firesign during the jfk admin
cease: jfk was before firesign but bergman was working in the senate then,
cease: knew rfk
Dexter Fong: Poop maybe it was buffalo and Garfiled
Dexter Fong: Garfield
Dexter Fong: they shot the kitty
Principalpoop: Taft? Taft?
Dexter Fong: Taft Taft! Is this thing on Taft!!
cease: i heard a couple of funny jokes about taft on maron's podcast last week
catherwydd: salt water taft
Principalpoop: one of our more humorous presidents
cease: http://wtfpod.libsyn.com/
cease: the steve pearl interview
Principalpoop: my god, it did try to open in quicktime, i need to adjust my file settings
Dexter Fong: Start with a bastard file then go to the little traingular one
||||||||| It's 10:30 PM, and that means it's time to play BEAT THE REAPER! And here's how our contestants did:
||||||||| Elayne2 - dead from The Plague
||||||||| Better luck next time! And now, back to our chatroom, which is already in progress...
cease: i wish rfo was as good as maron.
Dexter Fong: Without Procmer .....ya know?
Principalpoop: what is his last name? looks like cheech
cease: ossman is useful. is poems at the end are particularly good
Dexter Fong: That's Church
Principalpoop: i cannot find my triangular file, how about a personnel file? nail?
Dexter Fong: Yeah but Pergman just dominates...Proc can keep him in check
cease: indeed, dex. thats a problem with rfo
Dexter Fong: Poop: YOu have-a E-nail...we ix
Dexter Fong: fix it pronto
Principalpoop: pronto? what is his last name? looks like tonto
Dexter Fong: Tonto..he from toronto
Principalpoop: who was the guy with captain john smith?
catherwydd: pronto was in the italian version of the lone ranger
Principalpoop: pinto? binto? bingo
Dexter Fong: That little cabin boy?
Principalpoop: that is just an ugly rumor
Dexter Fong: That was roger Jolly...Jolly Roger they called him
Principalpoop: squinto?
Principalpoop: squanto
Dexter Fong: Sometimes it was a group roger Nudge Nudge Wink WInk
catherwydd: squinto was the one with the coke bottle glasses
Dexter Fong: Squanto mo ramma
cease: bottles? pretty soon i'd drink anything
Principalpoop: died the plane crash, with Huddy Bolly
Dexter Fong: oh oh oh squanto mo ramma
cease: byby ms canadian pie
Principalpoop: in
Dexter Fong: and Bobby Ledbetter
Principalpoop: illegal step-father of tommy horsefinger
Dexter Fong: Cat: Speaking of by by CA, it's hi hi CA since local ABC affiliate startd broadcasting new Da Vinci episode
cease: new?
cease: i thought the show was long gone
Principalpoop: drove my chevy to the levy, but mrs levy said to hit the road jack
catherwydd: da vinci is still around?
catherwydd: I'd like to meet him some time
Dexter Fong: new as in they stopped insequence and started rebroadcasting previously aired episodes
cease: aha
catherwydd: I've never watched da vinci
Principalpoop: dada vinci, we talked of him earlier
Dexter Fong: llan: It's interesting in that it's based on a real person and real events, done in canada without explosions, and car chases and razzle dazzle and often sounds improvised
Dexter Fong: It's about Van Couver. Home of th SAINTED Cat
Dexter Fong: Domini DOmini your all catholics now
Principalpoop: sounds rather intellectual, poopoo on that
cease: the guy was mayor of vanocuver. quite a good mayor
Bunnyboy: Gotta sneak away. Later!
Dexter Fong: poo poo is easy for you to say poo poop
||||||||| Around 10:41 PM, Bunnyboy walks off into the sunset...
Dexter Fong: e doop
Principalpoop: hip hop bunnyboy
Principalpoop: says the pooper
RadioFreeTweeny: Have a great week, folks...
Principalpoop: but ok ok, if I get the chance, I will try it
catherwydd: Nite Tween
||||||||| RadioFreeTweeny departs at 10:41 PM, singing "Toad away, toad away; toad away, toad away! Where do you go when you're toad away?"
Principalpoop: thanks tween, night
cease: you too tween
Dexter Fong: Night Tweeny, hope you get your system settled down
Principalpoop: i watched some segments of valley of the dolls on youtbute the other day, a depressing movie, but oh the changes going on
Dexter Fong: Yah know, railroads was a great thing...yah could go ta sleep in a box car in Buffalo and wake up in Chicago
Principalpoop: i was too young to see it when it came out
Dexter Fong: in a cattle car
Principalpoop: you still can
cease: if you're a cow
Principalpoop: mooo
Dexter Fong: Nope yah can't son, it's all containerization now
Principalpoop: mostly yes, but I still see box cars, roanoke is a hub
Principalpoop: i could almost throw a rock and hit a train
Dexter Fong: a hub, bub?
catherwydd: you could hop a train if you really tried
cease: we havea lot of trains in north van too
Principalpoop: lots and lots of those double decker tractor trailer containers now
Dexter Fong: Why raonoke is the gateway to the Smokey mountains of Chesterfield
catherwydd: might be dangerous though
Principalpoop: always was llan
cease: you know the firesigny bit about zippy the clown and johnny cash jumping a train
catherwydd: don't know that one
Principalpoop: like superman jumping a building?
Dexter Fong: Cat: No...sounds kinda promising
cease: ou were there, dex. they did it at the nyc show you saw
cease: i got it on tape from somebody
catherwydd: I'm reminded of a part of 3 Faces of Al, though
Principalpoop: i don't remember many zippy the clown references
Dexter Fong: Well just cause I ws there doesn't mean I wasn't stoned
cease: or more accurately they played the tape, it was orignally from bergman's brief Digital Diner show
cease: yes, nick on the train to hell or wherever
cease: ausin and his pals did a 2 part train to hell thing on their Hollywood NIghtshift show
Dexter Fong: without a script too
cease: nightshift? no i dont think that was scripted, though they probably brought it some stuff
Dexter Fong wonders when this "urban myth" type of thing about clowns being scary began
Principalpoop: i wonder the same thing fong
Dexter Fong: Cat: Meant Nick on the train improvising about Dog yard teeth and etc
catherwydd: when I was a kid, there were funny clowns and there were scary clowns
Principalpoop: smaller kids are afraid, but afraid of everything, merry go rounds, clowns, santa claus
catherwydd: sometimes the scary ones meant to be funny
Principalpoop: no no, we had funny and sad, and mean, i don't remember scary
Dexter Fong: Poop: It cetainly wasn't around when I was growing up an gowing to Ringling Bros and B&Bailey, and Cole Bros circuses
Principalpoop: right
Principalpoop: maybe the superman show
Principalpoop: when the good clown is replaced by an evil clown
catherwydd: I never believed in santa claus
Dexter Fong: Clark Kent *is* Emmet Kelley
Principalpoop: i still do
catherwydd: so I couldn't be scared of him
||||||||| Catherwood tiptoes into the room, and snorts derisively "Announcing 'catherwyyd', also known as 'Nancy' -- the time is 10:54 PM" -- then he slowly retires back into the Aviary...
cease: sounds very italian
Principalpoop: a big huge old man in a red suit? should be afraid of him lol
Dexter Fong: llan: C'wood dissed you big time
Dexter Fong: You gonna take that
catherwydd: pardon me for having an identity crisis this evening
cease: good thing its only this evening
Principalpoop: give him a piece of my mind nancy
Dexter Fong: You have any kind of identity problem, get the fuck out of Arizona
catherwydd: that's because I call him Cathy
Dexter Fong: Wood you do it
Principalpoop: ahhh, and when did this fear of female clowns begin?
cease: i prefer clowes to clowns
Dexter Fong: It was Lilith...she got all undressed real funny like
Principalpoop: show me your papers, to prove you are you and not me.....
catherwydd: the first nightmare I can remember involved a female of a sort of clown variety
Dexter Fong: If I were you, I'd be asking me for my papers
catherwydd: but she was black and orange and everyone called her a statue
Principalpoop: hehe tell us more hehe
Principalpoop: and do you have your papers? let me see them.. you show first
catherwydd: tell you more? you wouldn't believe it
Dexter Fong: Let me guess, you'd just returned from an exhibition of African Art
Dexter Fong: Or a Picasso show
catherwydd: well, now that you mention it...
cease: speaking of art, barry lopez was on last episode of bill moyers last friday
catherwydd: actually no. I don't remember that part
Principalpoop: ahh an anita bryant nightmare, how horrible
Dexter Fong: don't mention oit
cease: one of my fave authors, Of Woleves and Men and others
catherwydd: bill moyers, that old stuffed shirt
cease: he moved to nyc from la when he was 11. described seeing his first Vermeer at the Frick. a life changing experience
Dexter Fong: HEY LIGHTen up Nancy...Moyers is a man of great conscience
Principalpoop: a new dealer in a world of wall street boys and fools
||||||||| It's 11:00 PM, and that means it's time to play BEAT THE REAPER! And here's how our contestants did:
||||||||| catherwyyd - dead from pneumonia
||||||||| Better luck next time! And now, back to our chatroom, which is already in progress...
Dexter Fong: Cat: Who's barry lopez
cease: google him
Dexter Fong: google yourself, vato
Principalpoop: shortstop for the angels, right?
Dexter Fong: Another thing you can't say in Arizona
catherwydd: barry lopez was the guy that sang Lemon Tree
Merlyn: hey, c u next time
Principalpoop: night M, thanks
Dexter Fong: That was Trini Valdez
||||||||| Catherwood enters the room, strikes a gong, and bellows "THE TIME IN NEW YORK IS 11 O'CLOCK", then silently exits.
catherwydd: Nite Merlyn
cease: Lemon Car
cease: by merl
Principalpoop: that was trini, squini? tricycle?
||||||||| Merlyn leaves at 11:01 PM, singing "Oh, I'm just a little fishy, floating in the sea, and there ain't no hook that's smart enough to catch the likes of me..."
catherwydd: I love Lemon Car
Dexter Fong: Night Merlyn and thanks for being the best kind of host, one who doesn't hover
cease: lol
Principalpoop: lemon car is a good song
catherwydd: and my steering wheel go squeak
Dexter Fong: Lemon car, verry pretty
Principalpoop: i hover and pounce, relentlessly, ruthlessly, doggedly
cease: not a popular song around toyota hq these days
Dexter Fong: More pounce to the ounce
Principalpoop: woof woof
Dexter Fong: Toyoto HQ thanking ancestors for BP problems
Principalpoop: ahhso
catherwydd: I think Lemon Car made me laugh harder than I had laughed at the firesign material I had heard before it
catherwydd: ahhso what?
Dexter Fong: Sure! Our cars sometimes go very fast, not to be stopping...but no oil spill
cease: porcberg at their funniest
Principalpoop: the bullet that got nancy, through my stereo headphones, is memorable
Dexter Fong: "He shot herself?"
cease: i'll have to listen to it, poop
Principalpoop: huh?
Principalpoop: you never listened to that on stereo head phones?
Dexter Fong: Poop: # face of Al
Dexter Fong: 3
Principalpoop: the am and fm radio? the whole thing??
Principalpoop: oops ok
Dexter Fong: sattelite too
Dexter Fong: quick afk for various
Principalpoop: you can get tierra del fuego
cease: 3 faces? not that i can recall
catherwydd: Princ, what you said a moment ago reminded me of an incident in my childhood. I was driving with some relatives through chinatown in NYC when I though I heard someone on the street yell "Ah, so!" It was only years later that I figured out he was probably saying something else
Principalpoop: ha ha
cease: lol
catherwydd: that's a vivid memory actually
Principalpoop: the mind is funny, mine especially
Principalpoop: oops nancy was not shot, it was rococo
Principalpoop: maybe it was, I blow her brains out, how horrible to say and do
Dexter Fong: "She shot himslef?"
Principalpoop: where am I? What is going on?
Principalpoop: one step catherwood, and I'll blow her brains out, your bluffing, no you weren't bluffing
||||||||| Catherwood strides alongside Principalpoop and inquires "Did you want something?"
Dexter Fong: You're on a small freighter with a boatload of opium and dead carnations on you way to HOLLYWOOD!!
catherwydd: wonder how you steer one of these junks
Principalpoop: have I got a pipe and matches?
Dexter Fong: You've got a Crime lab at your disposal
Principalpoop: sweet
Dexter Fong: Your gifted with facial recognition
Dexter Fong: You look in the mirror
Dexter Fong: It's you!!
cease: so is a crow
Dexter Fong: You mean Bruce Lee's son?
catherwydd: him too
Dexter Fong: Ah....so
Principalpoop: so I'm me? it all makes sense now
Dexter Fong: Poop: It always was you =)
cease: not to me
Principalpoop: not to me either
Dexter Fong: not to me torturing be
Principalpoop: i thought so for a second, had a break through or something, but no
catherwydd: well, I'm going to check my email and then catch some tv. see you all (or most) next week
Dexter Fong: If you had a break through, your on the other side, Jim
cease: by llan
Principalpoop: it is not torture, just enhanced reflection techniques
Dexter Fong: night llan
Principalpoop: night llan, good luck
Principalpoop: went too fast, but I guess call me a cab
Dexter Fong: Guess I'll head for the Arizona border
Principalpoop: or a bus
cease: off we fly
||||||||| At 11:17 PM, the lights go out! Rocky Rococo's voice pierces the inky darkness: "I've got you now, cease!" Shattering glass is heard, and then the lights come back on...
Dexter Fong: See yall next week
Principalpoop: have a super week, ciao
||||||||| Around 11:17 PM, Principalpoop walks off into the sunset...
||||||||| It's 11:30 PM, and that means it's time to play BEAT THE REAPER! And here's how our contestants did:
||||||||| catherwydd - dead from measles
||||||||| Dexter Fong - dead from dengue fever
||||||||| Better luck next time! And now, back to our chatroom, which is already in progress...
||||||||| Catherwood enters, and announces to all and sundry "It's 4:32 AM, time to change the log file and clean out unused rooms; please exit the chat room for a minute or two. Thank you for your patience."

The Evening's Participants:
Dexter Fong
URL References:

Rogues' Gallery:

cat_pp.jpg (5168 bytes)
PP and Cat(cease)

newbunny.jpg (4426 bytes)

capeken.jpg (7639 bytes)
kend^/Dr. Headphones

ossman+me.gif (6000 bytes)
Merlyn and Tirebiter

capedoc.jpg (6006 bytes)

newlili.jpg (6085 bytes)

freq.jpg (4441 bytes)

roto.jpg (6046 bytes)

babs_so.jpg (5555 bytes)
LeatherG & SO

nino1.jpg (5352 bytes)

tonk1.jpg (6123 bytes)

ahclem+Bambi.jpg (9500 bytes)
Ah, Clem and Bambi

old-man.gif (55478 bytes)
Compañero Señor Yämamoto

ashhar.jpg (9068 bytes)
Dexter Fong

newelayne.jpg (15.1 kbytes)

Bubba's Brain.jpg (6600 bytes)
Bubba's Brain

Bightrethighrehighre.jpg (6600 bytes)

boney.jpg (20600 bytes)

llan.png (13200 bytes)

tweeny.jpg (12588 bytes)

3rdmate.jpg (23157 bytes)

bobd.jpg (15000 bytes)
Bob D Caterino

Dave_Katie110-8-06.jpg (50000 bytes)
Dave & Katie

capeklok.jpg (5469 bytes)
404 - Not Found, Not Forgotten

peggy.jpg (5240 bytes)
Peggy Blisswhips

audrey.jpg (4873 bytes)
Audrey Farber

tdt.jpg (6077 bytes)
Tiny Dr. Tim
Rest In Peace, Dear Friend

And, "The Home Team"