A Firesign Chat


||||||||| Catherwood re-enters the Waiting Room and explains "This is the main discussion room which is logged each night."
||||||||| Catherwood announces, "The time is 4:33 AM - I now declare Thursday's chat log for July 01, 2010 officially open!"... and then, he retires back to the vestibule...
||||||||| CrispyFired enters at 6:01 AM as Catherwood takes their hat and goat and hurries off to the Chapeau Manger.

The thick veil of pain lifted

enough for me to eyeball the situation

Rococo, that sleazy weasel,
how did he get in here?

And what was he doing with that pickle in one hand
and my contract in the other?

I had no choice
. Nancy and the old Butler were frozen with terror.

I struggled quitly to my feet
and flung myself headfirst
at Rococo’s stomach!


I felt like I was being kicked

I the head by the whole chorus line at Minsky’s.

So Nancy was in on this caper!

I felt myself going under.

The biggest long shot Louie at Hialeah
wouldn’t put a fin on my fate now!

This time, something told me

I was out for lunch.

I even began to hear things . . .


It ain’t no use

if you ain’t got a boost!

The boost you get from Loostner’s!


The All-Weather Breakfast!


Ladies and gentlemen

- we interrupt this regarly scheduled broadcast
to bring you a message of national importance
from the White House in Washington, D. C.

Ladies and Gentlemen . . .

Ladies and Gentlemen: the President of the United States . . .

The makers of Loostner’s Castor Oil Flakes and Fantastic Cigarettes

-- Loostner’s for the “Smile of Beauty,” Fantastic”s for the “Smile of Success”

-- have brought you the transcibed adventure
of “Nick Danger,
Third Eye!”

Tune in again next week

-- same time, same station

-- when Nick Danger meets

“The Arab!”

||||||||| CrispyFired leaves at 6:03 AM, singing "Oh, I'm just a little fishy, floating in the sea, and there ain't no hook that's smart enough to catch the likes of me..."
||||||||| 8:24 PM: ah,clem jumps out of the hall closet saying "I've been listening to all of you talking about me for the past five minutes!"
||||||||| New CNI streaming notice: '"a few minutes with FireSign Theatre" at about 9 eastern'
||||||||| 8:25 PM -- ah,clem left for parts unknown.   (Entry from Nick Danger's "Idiots I Have Been Paid To Follow").
||||||||| Catherwood stumbles in and intones "Presenting 'Woody 1', just granted probation at 8:47 PM", then leaves hurriedly.
Woody 1: too early aye? firehead's ain't sparkin' yet, aye? Hello friends. Goodbye friends til later.
Woody 1: What's with this new board? Weird!!!
||||||||| At 8:51 PM, Woody 1 rushes out the door saying "Hey, mister ice-cream man, I've got a nickel, wait for meeeee..."
||||||||| Gusts of wind blow in from outside and the thumpa-thumpa-thumpa of helicopter blades is heard as Happy Panditt's chopper lands on the lawn and Dexter Fong gets out at 8:55 PM.
Dexter Fong: Oh new news, all of it bad....No mention of Dexter Fong by Friebroiled
Dexter Fong: Firebroiled
Dexter Fong: How am I to be making amends
Dexter Fong: Shall I genuflect, genuflect, genuflect?
Dexter Fong: Am I about to be making full confession and speedy atonement?
Dexter Fong: Can I rend toney high-fashion garments?
Dexter Fong: Ooohhhh! Not to be torturing myself
Dexter Fong: Only one solution, and it's not the one I wanted
Dexter Fong: Must eradicate all Firebroiled's post
Dexter Fong: go away firebroiled
Dexter Fong: go away firebroiled
||||||||| Catherwood strides in with a trumpet, plays a fanfare, and proclaims "Nine PM on Thursday, July 01, 2010 - I now declare alt.comedy.firesgn-thtre's chat officially open!"
Dexter Fong: go away firebroiled
Dexter Fong: Come back next week same time, same high definition time
Dexter Fong: That I am Clem
||||||||| Catherwood stomps in at 9:03 PM, dragging cease by the hair and asks "Can anyone vouch for this yo-yo?"
Dexter Fong: having a bad hair day Cat?
||||||||| Catherwood accompanies ah,clem into the room, accepts a grimy quarter as a gratuity, mutters something about 9:03 PM, then departs.
ah,clem: hi
cease: no, i'm going out for dinner with friends in a few minutes
Dexter Fong: Hi clem
cease: ah, the clem voice
Dexter Fong: A fine dining experienc Cat?
||||||||| H. Stones enters at 9:05 PM as Catherwood takes their hat and goat and hurries off to the Haberdashery Barn.
Dexter Fong: High stones
H. Stones: Greetings Sir Fong
cease: it sounds like rfo is ending
Dexter Fong: Dash it all, Stones...I told you to drop the "Sire" in public
Dexter Fong: er uh "Sir"
H. Stones: Hi also to Clem, Cease and any lurkers
Dexter Fong wonders if Sire is a predeccesor of Sir
cease: the fish restaurant i reviewed on my blog recently. great fish
H. Stones: yes i think it is
ah,clem: good evening Mr. Stones
||||||||| A time machine materializes at 9:07 PM and Desert Sage Honey waltzes out, carrying a grape from ancient Greece.
Dexter Fong: Lorde! I was right
H. Stones: Hi Honeybunch
Desert Sage Honey: hello hello hello
ah,clem: Hola
Dexter Fong: Hi Honey
Desert Sage Honey: Hola ya'll
cease: hi honey and stones
H. Stones: this must be the best mime room on the net
Dexter Fong: Achtung Minen geblowup
Desert Sage Honey checks to see if her slip is showing or she is exposing her self in some unseemely manner that halts all conversation
Dexter Fong: It's all about you isn't DS
Dexter Fong: isn't it
Desert Sage Honey: well uh of course it is
H. Stones: yes, most Dexterous of Fongs
Dexter Fong: Just checking
Desert Sage Honey: heehee
Dexter Fong: TO see if I was still on message
Desert Sage Honey: I hope you are all well hale & hearty this fine evening
Dexter Fong: Feeling all right...nicely temperate low humidity July 1 here in NYC
H. Stones: i think they are all watching TV
H. Stones: or Not TV
Dexter Fong: What's on?
Dexter Fong: tap tap tap
ah,clem: nice temps in SE Va, as well Dex, and about time too
H. Stones: nothing much on account of the hot weather
cease: surprisingly cold today in Van
Dexter Fong: There's no such thing as *surprisingly cold* in VC
Dexter Fong: I see the weather maps
cease: for july?
Desert Sage Honey is watching the day the sky exploded black n white SF circa 1958
H. Stones: or indeed surprisingly anythng
cease: my visitors from Portland and Sydney wondered if this was our winter
Dexter Fong: low 60's with a promise of rain
Desert Sage Honey: that sounds great for New York City this time of year
Dexter Fong gives DS a questioning look
Dexter Fong: You mean "low 60's etc"
Desert Sage Honey huh
Dexter Fong: ?
Desert Sage Honey: ahhhhhhh yeah
Dexter Fong: well we spent about 3 weeks in the low-mid 80's to mid 90's with humidity so I guess low 60's with etc might sound great
Dexter Fong: bit much of an overcompensation though
Desert Sage Honey: indeed for this time of year
Desert Sage Honey sings hot time summer in the city back o my neck gettin dirty n gritty
H. Stones: its raining steadily here, you may be surprised to hear
ah,clem: last week we were at 99, so low 80's are quiter nice for a high
Dexter Fong: It *has* been a lot of weather thru out the country this spring/summer
ah,clem: quite nece
Dexter Fong: quice nace
ah,clem: quite nice
Dexter Fong: It's nice
cease: people wondering here if we'll ever have summer
H. Stones: quate
Dexter Fong: 2B nice
ah,clem: I'll try
Desert Sage Honey: it has rained twice today living in Taos is so much nicer than where I was living before
H. Stones: it sounds more civilised to me Honey
cease: nicer is better
Desert Sage Honey: well it is more cultured there are a lot of artists n writers living here
H. Stones: one day you must finish your book about Stamp Toilet days, Honey
Dexter Fong: *n* writers?
Desert Sage Honey: hehe yeah
Dexter Fong: Sounds subversive
Desert Sage Honey: "n" short for &
Dexter Fong: Dine well Cat
Dexter Fong: Ampersand Writers? Even more subversive
Dexter Fong: Sybolists of the worst kind
ah,clem: Stamp Toilet shound like a camping appliance
Desert Sage Honey: oooh yeah enjoy your dinner, cat
cease: i hope the stuffed trout is as wondrous as it was the last time i visited Fishworks
H. Stones: ampersand, Fong, where are they at ?
ah,clem: your participle is dangling, Stones
Dexter Fong: IT"S technical Stones, involuntary electric current flowing thru the whispering whimpering sand
H. Stones: ooh sorry, must be missing a button
Desert Sage Honey covers her eyes
Dexter Fong: Who is it?
H. Stones: well its not me, somebody open a window
Dexter Fong: Sorry massuh, I don't do windows
Desert Sage Honey: catherwood please open a window and turn on the fan
||||||||| Catherwood rushes over to Desert Sage Honey and inquires "Someone mention my name?"
Dexter Fong: and I don't birf no babies
Desert Sage Honey: proper eubonics Dex....& I don birf no babies
H. Stones: its the only fan he has, Honey
Dexter Fong quickly boils some water
Dexter Fong weeps silently seeing how DS has been corrupted by those subversive smbolists
Dexter Fong and he's not entirely happy with his typing
Desert Sage Honey: ah hand me a towel i shall have a nice steam facial thanks Dex
Dexter Fong: Care to exfoliate while I give you the special "Al Gore" massage
Desert Sage Honey: hmmmmmmm
Dexter Fong: Tippers welcome hee hee
cease: i hear that causes global warming, dex
Dexter Fong: That's the effect I'm hoping to cause
Desert Sage Honey: well then you will have to move away from the coastline Dex move inland somewhere that will not soon be inundated with water
Desert Sage Honey: Nebraska?
Dexter Fong: Ah! No madame...I was think of more local globes (nudge nudge)
H. Stones: dont you mean with oil, he asked satirically
Dexter Fong: thinking
cease: ok, i'm off to eat. see ya'll next week
ah,clem: "not much you can say about apathy"
Dexter Fong: We use only high Omega-3 fishoil
H. Stones: quick follow him home, he has food
Dexter Fong: Mange Cat
ah,clem: have a great meal, Cat
||||||||| cease is defenestrated just as the clock strikes 9:33 PM.
Desert Sage Honey: i actually used to like tuna packed in oil now that will be all that I can find soon
Dexter Fong: Well finally someone opened the window
ah,clem: was that an oil spill joke, Honey?
Desert Sage Honey: an obvious one I thought
Dexter Fong: Yah think? =))
H. Stones: clem, do you want leaded or unleaded ??
||||||||| Catherwood sneaks into the room, and snorts derisively "Announcing 'Elayne', also known as 'Nancy' -- the time is 9:35 PM" -- then he slowly retires back into the vestibule...
Elayne: Evenin' all!
ah,clem: well, I'm a little slow
H. Stones: Hi Elayne
Dexter Fong: Elayne!!!!
Desert Sage Honey: Hello Elayne
Dexter Fong: Cat just left for a fine dining experience
Elayne: Hey Dex, I waved at you earlier today when I was in your (work) neighborhood.
ah,clem: Pink Hotel cued, E
Dexter Fong: Just in time E
Elayne: Alas, Jimmy, I never heard back from that guy. Can you believe it?
Dexter Fong: for PH I mean
Dexter Fong: tough noogies for him then
Dexter Fong: You gotta stick it out if you wanna stay young
Elayne: Indeed. Let me turn on the CNI...
ah,clem: is 16/11 mono, so not a great copy, but if listening will give hime the idea
ah,clem: running "what this country needs" right now
Elayne: Rob's coming in, he's going to run CNI from his machine instead (good 'n loud!).
||||||||| Catherwood escorts Robin into the room, accepts three dimes as a gratuity, mumbles something about 9:38 PM, then departs.
Dexter Fong: Turn it up to eleven
Elayne: Now let me turn off the CNI, I can't listen and chat at the same time.
||||||||| At 9:39 PM, Elayne vanishes mysteriously -- just as Nino the Mind Boggler predicted!
||||||||| Catherwood sneaks into the room, and announces "Announcing 'Elayne', also known as 'Nancy' -- the time is 9:39 PM" -- then he slowly retires back into the sitting room...
Dexter Fong: Have a stick of gum, Elayne?
ah,clem: lol
||||||||| Catherwood says "9:40 PM, time for SOMEONE to leave!", grabs Robin by the collar and gives 'em the old bum's rush out the door
Desert Sage Honey: Catherwood please make me an absinthe
||||||||| Catherwood gives Desert Sage Honey an absinthe.
Desert Sage Honey: absinthe makes the heart go fonder
Dexter Fong: gonna afkfr while this album plays back soon
ah,clem: $100 shine ;)
Dexter Fong: Back in the ole days you could get a shine for a lot less, including his family
Elayne: Oh dear, I just go to the shine sketch, I must be lagging.
ah,clem: there is about a 2 minite lag, server buffers, E
Dexter Fong: Elayne: You can't get the shine sketch anymor, Amos and Andy are not PC
Elayne: To tell you the truth, Dex, I'm kind of cringing listening to it, so I can't blame 'em.
Dexter Fong: E: PB dpes love his colored folk
Dexter Fong: does
Dexter Fong: It's an easy accent, and he's not that good at accents
Elayne: At least I don't have to watch him in blackface.
Dexter Fong: He was an or...aboriginal member of the Firesign Minstrels
H. Stones: its when things get too PC that i start to cringe. i dont believe in banny words, i believe in humour
Dexter Fong: Banny words? That's my nom du plume
Desert Sage Honey: awwwwww (hugs Stones close)
H. Stones: it should have said, banning
Elayne: I never cringe at what people call "PC," Stones. I prefer people take others' feelings into account.
Dexter Fong: Anette Banning under rated actress
Elayne: Oh, Jimmy just said hi to all of us - hi Jimmy!
Dexter Fong: Not down here in lower NYC
ah,clem: ;)
Dexter Fong: but High anyway
ah,clem: we know, Dex
Dexter Fong: Can you smell it there!?
H. Stones: i got tired of it, Elayne, ar the rate they are going they will soon be saying there was no such thing as colonialism or slavery, first you ban some words, then next thing you know they are banning books and rewriting history
Elayne: I can, Dex, but I don't think it's y ours.
Dexter Fong: Ostracism and Ring Worm
Elayne: Not "banning," Stones. Just thinking about people who don't necessarily share one's cultural viewpoint before opening one's pie hole.
Dexter Fong: lol Elayne
Dexter Fong: but it *is* mine in a certain wasy....I hope
Dexter Fong: way
ah,clem: the smell?
Elayne: Um, you got me there, Dex.
Dexter Fong: SOme people call *The SMELL*
Dexter Fong: others call it pheromes
ah,clem: lol Dex
Desert Sage Honey: pharoahmoans
Dexter Fong: DS? How do you make a hormone?
H. Stones: you dont pay her
Desert Sage Honey: lol
ah,clem: drum roll
H. Stones: bumbum
Dexter Fong: and you beat her with a large stick...(Very important part of the process)
H. Stones: there i go with my pie hole again
Dexter Fong: Glad to see you intact again stones
H. Stones: yes but not virgo intacti
Dexter Fong: Who is,,You got a copy of venus de milo, you're not intact Ipso Facto
Dexter Fong: Another nom du plume for my books of fact
Dexter Fong: an' datsa fact Jack
Elayne: Oh, I love that bit of dialogue: "Want an upper?" "No, my teeth are fine." Robin even laughed at that one.
H. Stones: i can see you facts hangin in the air like a plume Fong
Dexter Fong: Robin a tough laugh, E?
Elayne: He's confused about the purring sound effect, though.
Elayne: I'm sure part of it is a cultural thing, Dex.
ah,clem: we all are
ah,clem: may have to do with dead cat soap
H. Stones: it must be a cultural cleanup
Dexter Fong: Sorry for the caps
Elayne: He knew that, Dex. I guess I just didn't realize it.
Dexter Fong: I'll stick to my Borsolino
||||||||| Catherwood enters the room, strikes a gong, and bellows "THE TIME IN NEW YORK IS 10 O'CLOCK", then silently exits.
Elayne: He was trying to be ironic, and it went right over my head.
Dexter Fong cues the mandolins
H. Stones: those low flying irons can be a real menace
Dexter Fong: E: Strange he not much taller than you, is he?
Elayne: He jumps a lot, Dex.
Dexter Fong: These days, who doesn't?
Dexter Fong: Goddam bycklers
Dexter Fong: bycyclers?
Dexter Fong: Seems to need a "k"
Dexter Fong: Perhaps even a *special* "K'
Dexter Fong: Those of you who prefer a "J" please retire to the boys bathrooom
Dexter Fong: The rest of you go to "L"
Dexter Fong: aND NO "p"EEING
Dexter Fong: THAT WAS CURE
Desert Sage Honey: hey now dont get gender specific with me I have always enjoyed a j in the mens loo
H. Stones: is that where the Beat generation meet up ?
Dexter Fong: DS: And that's why our parents broke us up, Honey
Dexter Fong: That, and the grand theft auto
Dexter Fong: When you beat my dad, that was the final straw
Desert Sage Honey: right Dex I still have PTSD associated from those days
H. Stones: did she beat your daddy, eight to the bar ?
Dexter Fong: Stones: Hell, 8?
H. Stones: Rave generation, Fong
Desert Sage Honey: he was a sore loser Dex
H. Stones: ur favorite capital letters were E,s
ah,clem: sombody kill Dex's caps lock key
Desert Sage Honey: haha clem
Dexter Fong: pROLLY STONES, but who's counting
Elayne: Would a B B gun do it?
Dexter Fong: Si Si
ah,clem: depends on range
||||||||| Bunnyboy steals in around 10:09 PM, trying to avoid Catherwood because of last month's "unpleasant incident."
Bunnyboy: Ta-da!
Desert Sage Honey: hey bunny
Dexter Fong: I'm at home anywhere on the range
H. Stones: Yo Bunny
ah,clem: hey Bun
Dexter Fong: Hiya Bunny
Bunnyboy: (sings) Bb's got a gun...
Dexter Fong refrains "down by de ribbuh"
Bunnyboy: (sings) It's all in fun!
Elayne: Speaking of BB, Hey Bunnyboy!
Bunnyboy: Hey!
Dexter Fong: What if it was Bb's got a gub?
Bunnyboy points at note.
Bunnyboy: No, "gun", it says...
Dexter Fong hands Bunnyboy the expliding dye pack of hundred dollar bills
Dexter Fong: exploding
ah,clem: read your script
Desert Sage Honey goes to graze in the kitchen afk
H. Stones: but i like expliding, just dont know what it is
Dexter Fong: Sounds like an aussie accent to me Stones
Bunnyboy: Been waiting forever (well, 2 or 3 years) for a DVD release of THE LIFE OF REILLY, the marvelous one-man swan song of Charles Nelson Reilly...
ah,clem: lol, Bunny
Desert Sage Honey: william bendix bunny
Dexter Fong: When I read Life of etc, I thought of that early radio and then TV sitcom
Dexter Fong: Nice call DS
Bunnyboy: No big DVD deal in the offing...but the producers are offering FREE press screener copies, with the purchase of CNR T-shirt.
Bunnyboy: No, that one is RILEY.
Bunnyboy: http://www.charlesnelsonreilly.com/
Dexter Fong: A number of regulars not here tonight
Bunnyboy: Saw the Reilly film in a theatre. Funny, poignant and grand.
H. Stones: syrup of figs would keep them more regular
Bunnyboy: Dex: There all patrolling the Northern border.
Elayne: Must be getting an early start on the holiday weekend, Dex.
Dexter Fong: Canter square, Bunny, center square
Dexter Fong: Likely E
Bunnyboy: Keepin' those Canadians from stealin' our jobs!
||||||||| Gusts of wind blow in from outside and the thumpa-thumpa-thumpa of helicopter blades is heard as Happy Panditt's chopper lands on the lawn and Principalpoop plummets into the garden at 10:18 PM.
Dexter Fong: Bunny: Northern border of what?
Dexter Fong: Hey poop
H. Stones: greetings Poopster
Elayne: Hey PrinPoop!
Principalpoop: don't start with me grrrrr
Dexter Fong: Down boy
Principalpoop: woof woof
Elayne: What's the matter, Prin?:
Principalpoop: mad dog poop
H. Stones: throws Poop a stick
Dexter Fong slipspoop a boneo
Principalpoop: something about life and cherries and pits
Principalpoop: how are you all doing?
Dexter Fong: Poop: When life hands you pits, throw somebody into it
ah,clem: good evening Mr. Principal
Principalpoop: be funny, make me laugh, now grrrr
Principalpoop: hi ahh, clem
Dexter Fong: gggrrreat!
ah,clem: I am trying
Principalpoop: fong is doing great, that is perfect
Principalpoop: gasahole works fine
ah,clem: yes
Principalpoop: just need time to assimilate ahh, clem
Elayne: I don't think anybody's being a gasahole this evening.
Dexter Fong: That gasahole was once just a little gasapit
ah,clem: O'Tay
Principalpoop: disrepect and turmoil everywhere again
Dexter Fong looks aroung for darla
Dexter Fong: quick afk
Elayne: Speaking of disrespect and turmoil, anyone have any favorites in the World Cup?
Principalpoop: get me please fong grrrr
Principalpoop: i am more of a saucer man myself
ah,clem: ok, here is your game, E
ah,clem: (saved)
Principalpoop: michelle, maa belle
Elayne: I was wondering when they'd get in their mandatory Beatles ref...
Elayne: Who voiced that female character just then?
Elayne: Is that Melinda?
ah,clem: don't know
Principalpoop: save the drunk one-eyed snake
Elayne: Robin likes the Pink Hotel bit a lot. I guess we're both at that age to remember text games. (I sucked at them.)
Dexter Fong: There's the snake
ah,clem: they had a certain charm
||||||||| It's 10:30 PM, and that means it's time to play BEAT THE REAPER! And here's how our contestants did:
||||||||| Desert Sage Honey - dead from the fiddlers
||||||||| Better luck next time! And now, back to our chatroom, which is already in progress...
Principalpoop: poop: restrains himslef
Principalpoop: the fiddlers got honey, rats
ah,clem: E W E S climb wall
Dexter Fong: Poop: For Respect, call 1-888-STOP
Bunnyboy: Text adventure games were the best.
Principalpoop: find out what it means to me?
Elayne: "One controlled fall after another..." pretty much describes my life too. :)
ah,clem: it's a very good album
Dexter Fong: For restraint call 1-888HEAL
ah,clem: sad out of print
Elayne: Well, it's a good series of sketches. But I do like the title bit a lot.
Dexter Fong: I think the "Over the Edge Segment is truly funny and zany too with great improv
ah,clem: and now the mune
Elayne: I am SOOO not a top ten scorer...
Dexter Fong: Yes, the forsaken myune (Ancient Thai)
Dexter Fong: Well, almost..........lol
Principalpoop: i forget how many cereal box treasures told me that I was not a winner
ah,clem: as well you should
Dexter Fong: Cereal box treasures!!?? In my day you were lucky if there was any cereal in the box
Bunnyboy: Anybody know where the Mr. Liverface bit came from? Hour Hour? Sumpin else?
H. Stones: i was so poor i had to eat the plastic submarine
Bunnyboy: Dead Pet Pet Food.
Principalpoop: wasn't he one of the dick tracy villans on radio?
ah,clem: did it surface?
Dexter Fong: Bunny: I think it's later than HH, maybe In the next world?
H. Stones: eventually, clem, yes
Principalpoop: i remember those, put in a little baking soda and vinegar
Dexter Fong: Plastic!!!!!!!!???? My sub was granite
Dexter Fong: Thousands in dentist's bills
Elayne: Ah well, Robin's left the room. That's his Firesign tolerance reached.
ah,clem: thank grid for baking soda
Elayne: I was hoping he'd get into the Hemlock Stones stuff.
Dexter Fong: Who He? Clem? This is still pink hotel
Principalpoop: making fun of sherlock oversteps the bounds of english decency, bad form that
Bunnyboy: Dex: Nope. That's Dead Cat Soap.
ah,clem: of course it is, as it is out last movie of the evening
Bunnyboy: And it wasn't on any of the Columbia/Rhino/Butterfly discs.
Dexter Fong: Thank Godee were not English (is Stones Gone?)
ah,clem: our
H. Stones: there is no English decency anymore, its all binge drinking and a kerbside quiche
Bunnyboy: I've heard in recently on RFO, but I know I'd heard it before.
Principalpoop: quite
ah,clem: binge drinking! yes
||||||||| Catherwood enters with Desert Sage Honey close behind, mutters something about disrupting his 10:40 PM tree-stunting plans, and dashes off to the sitting room.
Principalpoop: wb honey
H. Stones: and dont forget the kerbside quiche
Dexter Fong: Bunny: Yes..Maybe Cat would know, but he's out to lun...dinner
Bunnyboy: Yes, they're french-kissing the curbs.
Desert Sage Honey: hey hi i am back gee someone must not like me using their free wifi
Dexter Fong: Quiche me once and quiche me twice and then just gra.....
ah,clem: I know the bit, but can't say where it is without research
Principalpoop: slowing down their pron downloads
H. Stones: you're a bad bugger Honey
ah,clem: and since I am on the air,....
Dexter Fong: Stones: "bad"? pr just bad?
Principalpoop: good air that ahh, clem
Desert Sage Honey: hey if there is not a lock on it it is free!!!
Dexter Fong: And if there is a lock, X-CON locksmiths can help you
Dexter Fong: Night Hours Only
Principalpoop: if not free, liberate it
Desert Sage Honey: hehe
H. Stones: do you know what connurbation is Fong ?
Desert Sage Honey is afraid to ask
Principalpoop: to connurbate
H. Stones: lol
Dexter Fong: stones: Yes...Conning someone's 'bation
H. Stones: yes, its what convicts do in their cells after lights out
Dexter Fong: You mean get a tattoo?
Desert Sage Honey: lol
Principalpoop: guffaw
Dexter Fong: Okay Bruno, bend over...I want to do an early English Landscape
H. Stones: now you are kicking against the pricks
Desert Sage Honey: sepia tone i bet
Principalpoop: talking about the world cup again?
Dexter Fong: Stones: Not the pricks!!man...The *screws* , man
Dexter Fong: Gimme a gang sign dude
Elayne: Ah, there's the next Beatles ref.
H. Stones: we dont talk about the war or the world cup in front of the Germans, it makes some of us laugh
Principalpoop: i missed it E, which was it?
Elayne: I think I'm not going to last. The cat's started meowing and it's really ruining the listening experience for me.
Dexter Fong: I loved the Dave Clark Five reference
ah,clem: they are full of them
Elayne: PrinPoop, the walrus thing in the Hemlock sketch.
Elayne: Missed that one, Dex.
ah,clem: or it...
Principalpoop: some german told it was revenge for wimbledon 1966,
Dexter Fong: koo koo ka chu (spelling optional)
Principalpoop: missed it
Dexter Fong: Some say "Goo Goo Ga tchew
H. Stones: in Britain we have a saying..... If you invent a game, dont tell any foreigners about it!
Principalpoop: meow is nothing, you can wait until they start making bread on parts of your body...
Dexter Fong: I heard about that SAtones
Elayne: I'd best head out. Next week, all.
Principalpoop: captain equinox
||||||||| At 10:49 PM, Elayne runs out the door saying "Hey, mister ice-cream man, I've got a nickel, wait for meeeee..."
H. Stones: We have may of the best players in the world Dexter, trouble is we cannot play as a team
Dexter Fong: Happy fourth Elayne
Principalpoop: thanks E, avoid the pits, if possible
Dexter Fong: though I know you're alrady gone
Desert Sage Honey: night night E
Bunnyboy: I'm a sneaker. Ta!
Bunnyboy shuffles off
||||||||| "10:50 PM? I'm late!" exclaims Bunnyboy, who then runs out through the french doors and down through the bushes.
Desert Sage Honey: adios bunny
H. Stones: a terrible thing is the Shuffles
Dexter Fong: Stones: I humbly confess that I've always found soccer somewhat boring, but with the advent of the *vuvuzela* it's now downright annoying
Desert Sage Honey: the shuffles is a lot like the aztec 2 step i have heard
H. Stones: in my case, a lot more than somewhat, fong
Dexter Fong: ah...a hands across the pond moment =))
Principalpoop: the aztecs invented soccer, using heads
Dexter Fong: The Aztecs invented the vacation too
H. Stones: As George Burns used to say, "If at first you dont succeed, maybe failure is your thing!"
Principalpoop: after the calender, yes
Dexter Fong: I thought it was if at first etc, find a great partner like Gracie
H. Stones: it can sure help, Fong
Dexter Fong: ..then give her alll th laughs
Dexter Fong: Stones: Are you familiar with their radio shows?
H. Stones: yes i am fong
Principalpoop: stones is the walrus?
H. Stones: i liked him even when i was too young to get the jokes
H. Stones: i am more of an egg man
Dexter Fong: and do you know the movie "Kiss of evil" richard widmarks first big movie wherin he's a psycho who pushes an old lady down a flight of stairs....in a wheel chair
H. Stones: sounds familiar, Fong
Principalpoop: kookoo a chew
Principalpoop: like jimmy cagney pushing a grapefruit in the girls face
Dexter Fong: There's an B&A episode with Widmark shortly after the movie came out in which goerge urges him to play his pycho character 'cause gracie hhhran into his car
H. Stones: i dont recall that fong
Dexter Fong: Every threatening thing he says, Gracie misconstrues...it's brilliant
||||||||| Catherwood enters the room, strikes a gong, and bellows "THE TIME IN NEW YORK IS 11 O'CLOCK", then silently exits.
ah,clem: good night everyone, have a great week!
Principalpoop: i misconstrue too, anybody seen him lately?
Dexter Fong: Okay guys I'm on my way outta town tomorrow so must leave eary
Principalpoop: thank you ahh, clem, best of luck bambi and all too
Principalpoop: happy 4th all
H. Stones: an i have a visitor coming to stay tomorrow so i guess the bus is going
H. Stones: thanks specially to clem
Dexter Fong: Yes indeed, thanks clem and (of course) Bambi
Dexter Fong: Hey Merlyn was absent
H. Stones: i second that Fong
Dexter Fong: So you noticed to eh? Stones?
Principalpoop: no seconds oliver
H. Stones: have a good 4th y'all
Principalpoop: toad away
Dexter Fong: Stay safe and blow up the old Guy
H. Stones: it was strangely muted in the room tonight, i felt it myself
Principalpoop: back to the pits, grrrrrr
H. Stones: something in the stars i guess
Dexter Fong: Night Poop, hope you're alittle cheerier =))
H. Stones: pokes Poop with a stick to keep him enraged
Principalpoop: you blunted the fury, thanks
Principalpoop: woof woof, woof
Dexter Fong: Without pits, we wouldn't have olives...and sepias...and deep chocolate ebonys
Dexter Fong: see yah next time
Principalpoop: toad away again
H. Stones: havea great week all and stay safe.
H. Stones: nighty night
Principalpoop: i am losing my mind
Principalpoop: as if I had one to start with
Principalpoop: toad away
Principalpoop: i will sing along this time
Principalpoop: that helps :)
ah,clem: sorry for the delay, server was having a problem
ah,clem: all better now
Principalpoop: i need to update winamp
||||||||| Catherwood accompanies Honey into the room, accepts a wooden nickel as a gratuity, grumbles something about 11:06 PM, then departs.
ah,clem: nytol
||||||||| 11:06 PM -- ah,clem left for parts unknown.   (Entry from Nick Danger's "Idiots I Have Been Paid To Follow").
Principalpoop: hi honey
Honey: nite clem thanks for the show
Honey: hi poop
Principalpoop: nope, got anything?
Honey: um er ahhh meet me in the closet
Honey: i have applied for a medicalmarijuana card
Principalpoop: do I need to bring anything, straw? needle? bong? glass?
Honey: got a vaporizer?
Principalpoop: never used one of those in years, the one we had before was for vicks
Honey: hey stones hi hi hi hi hi
Honey: i remember those poop
Principalpoop: makes my eyes water but clears up the lungs
||||||||| It's 11:10 PM, and that means it's time to play BEAT THE REAPER! And here's how our contestants did:
||||||||| Desert Sage Honey - dead from the fiddlers
||||||||| Dexter Fong - dead from jaundice
||||||||| Better luck next time! And now, back to our chatroom, which is already in progress...
Honey: i wonder if stones is snoozin
Principalpoop: he said something about something
Honey: looks like we are all that is left of the evening
Principalpoop: kiss me you fool
Honey: hahahaha
Principalpoop: Smack!
Principalpoop: so, what are you wearing? hehe
Honey: snarfle
Principalpoop: snarfle, ahh sexy
Principalpoop: i figured stones would interrupt this, he must be snoozing
Honey: desert storm combat boots thick woolen tights and a grannie nightgown with roses on it oh and my hairnet
Honey: ya he must be
Principalpoop: ahh, you have reading my pron fantasy request emails, naughty honey
Honey: hehe
Honey: sigh
Principalpoop: been, you have been, what is it called when you drop entire words and not just a letter or 2?
Principalpoop: dementia? insanity, stupidity?
Honey: i kept getting thrown off the internet and then i had to download the latest zonealarm so i have been mostly missing in action ronight
Principalpoop: poop is all of the above
Principalpoop: i used to love zone alarm, but comcast balks when I use it now
Honey: tonight they moved that damn t too
Principalpoop: which T?
Honey: whoevers wifi i am appropriating is with Qwest
Principalpoop: are those the ones who cooperated with or refused the bush evesdropping?
Principalpoop: without a warrant
Honey: no idea i just called his phone it is busy he must be chatting up another of his american birds
Principalpoop: one of them refused, I forget which
Principalpoop: 1am in stones ville? i hope everything is ok
Principalpoop: late for a non honey phone call
Principalpoop: wait, add 5 minus one for daylights savings time
Honey: eh he was calling me at the same time doh so he left voice message that the room was closed and he would talk with me tomorrow
Principalpoop: LOOL
Honey: he didnt even have the decency to take his name with him!!! why I nevah
||||||||| It's 11:20 PM, and that means it's time to play BEAT THE REAPER! And here's how our contestants did:
||||||||| H. Stones - dead from the yaws
||||||||| Better luck next time! And now, back to our chatroom, which is already in progress...
Principalpoop: quite, bad form that
Principalpoop: finally
Honey: more like dead from the yawns
Principalpoop: good that the yaws got him
Honey: uh huh but what eggzakly are the yaws anyway>?
Principalpoop: you have heard of hem and haws
Honey: uh huh
Principalpoop: this is yem and yaws
Honey: ahhhhhh yiddish
Honey: so here I am finally entrenched in my own little casita in Taos things are looking up
Principalpoop: actually we did it, y'all come back now y hear? yaws welcome anytime
Principalpoop: sweet
Honey: oh yeah i forgot about the okies
Principalpoop: do they have wifi in finokie yet?
Honey: so you live in Virginia? gee i have no idea wifi okies doubtful
Principalpoop: he was an okie from finokie as I recall
Principalpoop: yes, virginia, old times here are not forgotten, the morons
Honey: aaaaaaaaa that was Muskogee I think
Honey: hehe look away look away
Principalpoop: don't make me google, I will, I will google if challenged
Honey: simmah dahn
Principalpoop: you were right
Honey: simmah dahn now
Principalpoop: i was wrong
Principalpoop: no wonder people looked at me funny for years when I tried to sing that line
Honey: you should have heard the way i used to sing it
Principalpoop: belt it out
Honey: absolutely filthy version I am not fond of Okies
Honey: I had to live there for a few years that felt like centuries
Principalpoop: i drove through it once, maybe, does 10 go through there?
Principalpoop: or is it north of I10?
Honey: no
Principalpoop: oops, never seen it then
Honey: that is farther south thru texas
Principalpoop: yes
Honey: have you been feeling any earthquakes these days>
Principalpoop: in virginia? no, but I know we can have some
Principalpoop: not california earthquakes, but it can
Principalpoop: i should watch the news more
Honey: i heard there we some in pennsylvania recently
Principalpoop: and canada, northeast usa
Honey: i have that earthquake watch thingy on my stumble page
Principalpoop: you are in my favorites, i check back from time to time
Honey: pretty weird huh?
Principalpoop: the earth is alive, alive I say, hahahaha
Honey: thats flattering i havent done much with my front pages lately but if you click on ALL you will find what interest me these days
Principalpoop: that was a mad scientist laugh, not a funny haha laugh
Principalpoop: don't update on my account, i try not to go to my wells too often
Honey: i could tell but i didnt want to be rude or offend you while you were acting strange
Principalpoop: acting? not acting, hahahaha
Honey smiles sweetly
Principalpoop: not sure what sort of laugh belongs there hehe
Honey: demoniacally laughing
Principalpoop: i think of your tough times and compare them to mine, and I have no reason to complain
Honey: like the guy who was in reefer madness playin the piana
Principalpoop: but it is still not easy sometimes, almost
Principalpoop: that was me hehehe
Honey: you sure dont and hopefully no more tough times for me now neither
Principalpoop: ahh a little tough, would not want you to go soft lol
Principalpoop D
Honey: tough times are totally relative to those who are experiencing them
Principalpoop: yes
Principalpoop: like incest, that is all relative
Honey: well i am a pretty tough broad i can hang in here with the best of em
Honey: indeed
Principalpoop: stop, I will not stand for you to talk about generous sweet honey like that
Principalpoop: put up your dukes
Honey: do you have plans for the 4fh of july?
Principalpoop: i used to drink a fifth on the fourth, have not for over, ahh heck 30 years now
Principalpoop: find some BBQ ribs and eat them is all
Honey: a good thing
Principalpoop: ahh it was a good time, i passed out under the washington monument several years
Honey: mmmmmmm yeah i think i am gunna buy a rack of babybacks some watermelon and just chill out
Principalpoop: you start doing that when it is not the 4th of july, causes complaints
Honey: not around here this is the land of manana
Principalpoop: no babybacks, give me the long pork ribs
Honey: those are good too yum
Principalpoop: a slab or 2, yum
Honey: slow bbq them
Principalpoop: cold for the next day meal also
Principalpoop: i let the experts do it now, practice has not made perfect with my efforts
Honey: i dont have a hibachi or grill anymore so i will have to do them in the oven
Principalpoop: that works ok, except I am appalled by the amount of grease that is usually burned off by fire
Honey reminds herself she needs to get a new toaster
Principalpoop: toasters are cheap, but don't buy the cheapest, you can burn yourself on the outside of them
Principalpoop: i learned that the hard way
Honey: i remember eating homemade ice cream too back in the day
Principalpoop: yes, mister chloesterols homemade dessert
Principalpoop: yum
Honey: yeah not the cheapest for sure i let my ex housemate take his back when he cam e to helo me move
Principalpoop: they have new ones now, you can put in the freezer while it turns,
Principalpoop: no more fooling around with adding ice and stuff, for hours
Honey: yesh i have seen them
Honey: but in a way having to wait the anticipation was wonderful
Principalpoop: my dad talked of the non-electric ice cream makers, you earned your ice cream that way hehe
Honey: well if you had to turn and turn and turn the crank you DID earn it
Principalpoop: exactly, but he bought an electric, was not going to do that again hehe
Principalpoop: i should start a garden
Honey: hey thats what my 1st stepmonter said kids were for and doing the dishes and dusting and vaccuming cleaning out the garage
Principalpoop: my parents grew bell peppers, easy to grow, now they cost 3 dollars a pepper in the store, I am outraged
Honey: yes! a victory garden!
Principalpoop: but I have a black thumb, I can kill ivy in a pot
Honey: if i am still here next year i will plant a garden for sure
Principalpoop: too much water or too little, poor things
Honey: and here in the hood where i live there are free fruit trees peach apricot apple all one has to do is go gather them
Principalpoop: yum
Honey: the key the secret is to water at night
Principalpoop: put them up, they will last all year
Honey: since i dont pay for the water here it will be perfect to plant a garden
Principalpoop: watching my parents, it is not complicated, just takes time
Principalpoop: cool, part of the rent
Honey: yeah i used to do that at my house in albuquerque apricots plums cherries i would can them put in jars make jam outta the apricots and strawberries from the garden
Principalpoop: we have a well, i pay for the water by paying for the electric for the well
Honey: well that is worth it having a well it must be good water
Principalpoop: oops, the idiot talking to an expert
Honey: i do have to pay the electric here
Principalpoop: no, lots of dirt and hard
Principalpoop: the screens on the washing machine get clogged every 3 months,
Honey: i hope you have a good water filter then or use a britta
Principalpoop: a little better than miami, that was brown, with sand hehe
Honey: dang that is pretty hard water
Principalpoop: yes I got one, hate having to do that
Principalpoop: i like the bottled water in LA
Principalpoop: crystal lake or something, at my grandmothers house
Honey: i remember growin up in LA in the fifties we drank arrowhead water delivered every weel
Principalpoop: a big water cooler thing
Principalpoop: arrowhead, yum
Honey: week
Honey: yeah
Principalpoop: i would get that here, if they offered it
Principalpoop: i won't buy the coke water, that is robbery
Honey: i remember filling a glass with water from the tap in los angeles and i swear you could see fish shit in it
Principalpoop: tap water from atlanta, put in a jar, the crooks
Principalpoop: yes, don't look at it, same as miami water
Honey: yeah the last coca cola i attempted to drink smelled like sulphur it was horrible
Principalpoop: ewwww
Honey: i usually keep a can of coke or something around in case my blood sugar crashes
Principalpoop: how can you tell when it crashes?
Honey: i get jittery and nauseos and fainty
Principalpoop: ok
Principalpoop: i have had that, i will try a coke or candy bar hehe
Principalpoop: i thought it was too much coffee and nicotine
Honey: yeah i used to have hypoglycemia then it just flipped to being diabetic
||||||||| Catherwood walks in wearing his pyjamas, yawns, and mumbles "It's midnight here in New York city"...then he falls over and starts snoring loudly..
Honey: so a candy bar used to work too
Principalpoop: i had a proffessor, had to almost manually adjust his levels
Principalpoop: a beer or candy bar or insulin or whatever was needed to push it in the right direction
Honey: gee lets put catherwoods hand in a bowl of luke warm water hehe
||||||||| Catherwood gets in a bowl of luke warm water hehe.
Principalpoop: hehe
Honey: ;p;
Honey: even better cathie
Honey: lol
Principalpoop: that M lool
Principalpoop: muskogee, hard to beleive I had that wrong for years
Honey: well i best get back to doing something worthwhile before i head for bed Have a happy and safe 4th Poop
Honey hugs poop
Principalpoop: you too, glad you have a castilo, bueno, muerto bueno or something like that
Honey smoochies
Honey: goodnight
Principalpoop: thanks, I need that, hug for you too
Principalpoop: nightnight
||||||||| At 12:05 AM, Principalpoop runs out the door saying "Hey, mister ice-cream man, I've got a nickel, wait for meeeee..."
Honey )
||||||||| Gusts of wind blow in from outside and the thumpa-thumpa-thumpa of helicopter blades is heard as Happy Panditt's chopper lands on the lawn and sdfghjklertycvb plummets into the garden at 12:10 AM.
sdfghjklertycvb: anyone still here?
||||||||| It's 12:20 AM, and that means it's time to play BEAT THE REAPER! And here's how our contestants did:
||||||||| sdfghjklertycvb - dead from the fiddlers
||||||||| Honey - dead from dengue fever
||||||||| Better luck next time! And now, back to our chatroom, which is already in progress...
||||||||| Catherwood enters, and announces to all and sundry "It's 4:32 AM, time to change the log file and clean out unused rooms; please exit the chat room for a minute or two. Thank you for your patience."

The Evening's Participants:
Desert Sage Honey
Dexter Fong
H. Stones
Woody 1
URL References:

Rogues' Gallery:

cat_pp.jpg (5168 bytes)
PP and Cat(cease)

newbunny.jpg (4426 bytes)

capeken.jpg (7639 bytes)
kend^/Dr. Headphones

ossman+me.gif (6000 bytes)
Merlyn and Tirebiter

capedoc.jpg (6006 bytes)

newlili.jpg (6085 bytes)

freq.jpg (4441 bytes)

roto.jpg (6046 bytes)

babs_so.jpg (5555 bytes)
LeatherG & SO

nino1.jpg (5352 bytes)

tonk1.jpg (6123 bytes)

ahclem+Bambi.jpg (9500 bytes)
Ah, Clem and Bambi

old-man.gif (55478 bytes)
Compañero Señor Yämamoto

ashhar.jpg (9068 bytes)
Dexter Fong

newelayne.jpg (15.1 kbytes)

Bubba's Brain.jpg (6600 bytes)
Bubba's Brain

Bightrethighrehighre.jpg (6600 bytes)

boney.jpg (20600 bytes)

llan.png (13200 bytes)

tweeny.jpg (12588 bytes)

3rdmate.jpg (23157 bytes)

bobd.jpg (15000 bytes)
Bob D Caterino

Dave_Katie110-8-06.jpg (50000 bytes)
Dave & Katie

capeklok.jpg (5469 bytes)
404 - Not Found, Not Forgotten

peggy.jpg (5240 bytes)
Peggy Blisswhips

audrey.jpg (4873 bytes)
Audrey Farber

tdt.jpg (6077 bytes)
Tiny Dr. Tim
Rest In Peace, Dear Friend

And, "The Home Team"