A Firesign Chat


||||||||| Catherwood re-enters the Waiting Room and explains "This is the main discussion room which is logged each night."
||||||||| Catherwood announces, "The time is 4:33 AM - I now declare Thursday's chat log for July 22, 2010 officially open!"... and then, he retires back to the vestibule...
||||||||| Catherwood leads DexlexiaFump into the room, accepts a jar of pennies as a gratuity, mumbles something about 5:02 AM, then departs.

I didn’t hear him enter, .
but my nostrils flared at the smell of his perfume .
-- Pyramid Pachtuli. .
There was only one joker in Los Angeles sensitive enough to wear that scent,.
and I had to find out who he was!


(Betty Jo Bialowsky!.
I hadn’t heard that name since college..
Everyone knew her as “Nancy.” .
Then it all came rushing back to me .
like the hot kiss at the end of a wet fist!.
It was Pig Nite .
at the Ohm Mane Padme Sigma House . . .) .
. . . And that’s why I called you today, Nan .
. . . I mean Mrs Haber. .
Something reminded me of that time.
so long ago, .
under the dwarf maples.
Nancy! .
(Narrating) ( I slipped the ring into my nose .
and the receiver in my pocket.
and headed for the door quickly.)


(Four hours later,.
I parked my car .
in the carriage house,.
and walked up the gray gravel driveway .
between a row of drawf maples,.
toward the pillared entrance .
of the Same Mansion..
It had been snowing in Santa Barbera .
ever since the top of the page,.
and I had to shake the cornstarch.
off my mukluks .
as I lifted the heavy,.
door knocker.)

The Blog of the Unknown is no more, as of July 14, at http://austin.weblogger.com/
DexlexiaFump: It is not known at this time whether Phil is going to renew it, in the future . . .?
DexlexiaFump: All things must fade, . . ., I guess?
DexlexiaFump: Better part of Beaver's Teeth was posted there.
||||||||| DexlexiaFump is forcibly ejected just as the clock strikes 5:08 AM.
||||||||| Outside, the 3:41 PM bus from Billville pulls away, leaving RedPillTweeny coughing in a cloud of diesel fumes.
||||||||| It's 3:50 PM, and that means it's time to play BEAT THE REAPER! And here's how our contestants did:
||||||||| RedPillTweeny - dead from the fiddlers
||||||||| Better luck next time! And now, back to our chatroom, which is already in progress...
||||||||| Dexter Fong waltzes in at 9:00 PM carrying an obsidian door knocker.
||||||||| Catherwood strides in with a trumpet, plays a fanfare, and proclaims "Nine PM on Thursday, July 22, 2010 - I now declare alt.comedy.firesgn-thtre's chat officially open!"
||||||||| Outside, the 9:01 PM uptown bus from Funfun Town pulls away, leaving cease coughing in a cloud of diesel fumes.
cease: i thought you were away this week, dex
Dexter Fong: Oh Firebroiled! When is this origami heart to be seeing you! Like folded rice paper, rolling many tiny bombers.
Dexter Fong: I was mistaken cat =)
cease: better than taken
||||||||| Catherwood stumbles in and pipes up "Presenting 'Tweenux', just granted probation at 9:03 PM", then leaves hurriedly.
cease: i took 240 pix of downtown street today
Tweenux: Lo dere
Dexter Fong: Taken and probed
cease: hiya tween
Tweenux: Good Grid, cease
Dexter Fong: Hiyah Bunnybo...er uh Tweeny
cease: digital photography is a higher level of aesthetics, comparable to firesign over, uh, ffeberg?
Dexter Fong: Better token than taken
cease: almost sexual in its addictive capacities
Dexter Fong: You photographed your fingers 240 times?
Tweenux: lol Dex
cease: both, dex
cease: a few of them will be on the blog tomoro
cease: looking forward to taking pix of reflections in nyc buildings
Dexter Fong: How are you this hot humid night in the northeast Tweeny?
cease: tween is in the northeast?
Dexter Fong: Why not?
cease: has austin moved to conecticut?
cease: the city, not the crazy guy
Dexter Fong: I think Austin is still on the west coast
cease: phil is somewhere. or not
Tweenux: Hot and humid, Dex, with a few showers moving through
Dexter Fong: According to Firebroiled, his blog is no longer active
cease: nice weather here
Tweenux: Playing with my new Linux box
cease: firebroiled is a figment of his own imagination
Tweenux: I may very well migrate away from Apple
Dexter Fong: Cat: Ahhh, the old chicken or egg problem eh?
Dexter Fong: I fear we shall be without Jimmy Lee & Co. again tonight
Tweenux: Just looking at the log from earlier. RedPillTweeny was not me
Dexter Fong: Damn Identity thieves
cease: again?
Tweenux: Apparently
Dexter Fong: Cat: JL is usually quite punctual when he's here
cease: you know not of this, tween?
Dexter Fong: I hope that Lyme disease thing isn't acting up again
Tweenux: No, haven't heard a word. Will check the CNI chat
Dexter Fong: Thanks Tweeny
cease: i asked for lime in my cidre at a bar under the library after hours of pic taking today
cease: the woman said there was no lime in this bar. then she served me my cidre with lime
cease: very odd
Dexter Fong: and did they give it to you traveler?
Dexter Fong: Perhaps there were no "limeys"?
Tweenux: JL's not feeling up to it tonight
Dexter Fong: Ah, just as I feared
cease: in a place called british columbia, limeys are hard to avoid
Dexter Fong: Man, that Lyme disease shit is malevelent
cease: i hope honey is well
Tweenux: They just came back from a trip up nprth ti MI to pick up some of his gear, and it really took it out of him
Tweenux: Yeah, damn all ticks
cease: quarter of a million people congregate on the beach
Tweenux: north to
cease: fireworks
Dexter Fong sings, "Thyme, ticking away, all that I have is my lime...."
cease: oooh, fireworks!
Dexter Fong: So does earth Wind and water
cease: where is everyone?
Dexter Fong: E said she'd drop by but she was gonna work late
cease: my cat jazz is ni front of the screen
cease: cant see at all
Dexter Fong: A condition you're not unfamiliar with Cat
||||||||| Catherwood ushers Merlyn inside, makes a note of the time (9:19 PM), then fades off into the distance going on about the waiting room or the sitting room or something.
Merlyn: hey ho
cease: hi merl
Dexter Fong: oi oi! Ausie Aussie Aussie!!
cease: rfo played a chunk of hour hour on today's show
cease: carbon recycling indeed
Merlyn: we need people to remember to come Tuesday nights, earlier
Dexter Fong: Tuesday nights where?
cease: coming is always a good idea
Dexter Fong: Is this gonna be a "rave"? (oh boy oh boy)
Merlyn: here
Dexter Fong: What happens Tues nights?
Merlyn: to listen to the WFMU hour hour show
Dexter Fong is obviously out of the loop
Dexter Fong: What time please Merlyn
Merlyn: http://www.wfmu.org/playlists/FT
Dexter Fong: ..and will Firebroiled be there (oh boy oh boy)
cease: are you in toucvh with earl jive, merl?
Merlyn: it's on the chat login page: 7 PM Eastern/4 PM Pacific Tuesdays June-Sept
Merlyn: an hour long show (sometimes a bit more). I've done some email cat, with LEJ
cease: he's now played the entire hour hour run
Dexter Fong: Thanks for the info Merlyn, a little difficult for me to make but I'll certainly try
cease: i hope that creates a markete for the box projecrt the lads talked about selling when we saw them in langley
Merlyn: you can play the shows on their website anytime too dex
Dexter Fong: Thanks again Merl
Merlyn: since clem isn't around, we could start listening to the same show at http://www.wfmu.org/playlists/FT
Merlyn: want to listen to Somebody Put A Mickey In The Ground Zero and chat?
cease: bergman has sounded more serious of releasing it on his rfo show, but i dont really think there is a market for it
cease: the number of firefans wiling to spend big bucks for old radio show, is i suspect, less than the cost of production
cease: just jugding from what judith told me about sales for the danger box set
Merlyn: hmm
cease: ok, put on the show
Dexter Fong: Yeah, Cat. That ship sailed long ago I fear
Merlyn: go listen to it cat
cease: i thikn the lads can still make a few bucks performing, but selling their old radio shows may not work
cease: i have it on now, merl
Dexter Fong: I getting Mr William T Bundy (not Ted bundy I hope)
cease: i probably have one of the larger collections of firesign stuff, but wot o that?
cease: this is a beautiful city
Dexter Fong: I don't know where to find the show, (sob Sob) I'm a ,,,a,,,(gasp) newbieeee
cease: old bees are dead bees
Merlyn: go to http://www.wfmu.org/playlists/FT and click on the july 20 show
Dexter Fong: "Didja ever pick up a bee and it slept in yore hand?
cease: hour hour had been dead for 2 weeks by then
cease: last show was july 11, 1970
Dexter Fong: Thanks Merlyn, I'm not entirely sure if it's FST I've got, but it certainly is ...well...different, yes
Dexter Fong: Poker is not gambling
Dexter Fong: well it is somewhat
cease: this is one of the dear friends shows i dont have., but earl should be playing them
Dexter Fong: but the skill involved is vital
cease: gambling is gambling
Dexter Fong: Cccchhhh! And rignt is right and wrong is wrong and didactic is didactic
||||||||| "9:38 PM? 9:38 PM!!" says Catherwood, "Elayne should be here by now...oh, THERE you are!" as Elayne enters and sits in the comfy chair.
Merlyn: hey E
Elayne: Evenin' all! Can't stay long, I just now got home from work.
cease: hey, it's el
Elayne: I wasn't kidding, Dex, was I?
cease: welcome to the tiny firesign chat, el
Merlyn: Dex, it is Firesign, but it takes a while
Dexter Fong: As a confirmed "digitalist" surely you're aware of the many gradations of color
Elayne told Dex on the phone earlier that she had no frickin' idea when she'd be getting out of work.
cease: stay here longer and get tinier
Dexter Fong: Hi Elayne, I made your apologies for you
cease: will nyc be cooler in end of setp?
Elayne: Thanks Dex. Oh Cat, I do hope so.
Dexter Fong: "consults his Magic 8-Ball.....and the answer is..............prospect are cloudy
Dexter Fong: Cloudy, with a Canadian High approacking from the north west
Dexter Fong: Conk's Coal, I know this bit
Elayne: BRB, haven't even visited the necesary yet.
cease: high is our natural state
cease: uh, province
Dexter Fong: You mean Humboldt County?
Dexter Fong: Temporarily, of course
Elayne: Oh, that's much better. I haven't worked that late since April. Takes it out of you! Or, puts too much into you.
Dexter Fong: Vernors is a very odd Ginger Ale
Dexter Fong: E: Better it should put much into your pay check
cease: i loved vernors ginger ale. havent had it in many years
Elayne: I do get overtime, Dex. Plus, I get $12 meal allowance, although the sushi order Robin just placed should be a good deal more than that, alas.
cease: not as good as vermeer
Dexter Fong: Cat: It is now a micro brew
Dexter Fong: lol Cat
cease: we gong back to the frick to see its vermeers, dex?
Dexter Fong thinks it serves E * R ordering that fancy sushi stuff
cease: i gotta do some serious walking to get appetite
Dexter Fong: Cat: We are going wherever your money takes us =)))
cease: i could walk from elayne's place to the frick but it would take hours
cease: lol dex
Dexter Fong: Yeahm, and you could get mugged .... or worse
cease: i'd rather be mudhead than mugged in the head
Dexter Fong: Lot of material in this radio show that showed up in Just Folks
cease: indeed, dex
||||||||| Catherwood stumbles in at 9:49 PM, dragging llanwydd by one leg and asks "Can anyone vouch for this Firehead?"
llanwydd: good evening, dear friends
Dexter Fong: Hey you're late llan, you could be fined
cease: hey, its actor man
Elayne: Evenin' Llan!
cease: i watched george shultz show, but didnt' know who was you
llanwydd: I was yassir arafat in the first episode and an iranian weapons smuggler in the second
cease: ok
llanwydd: next monday I'm an interpreter for gorbachev
Dexter Fong: afkfr
llanwydd: catherwood, please get us a 3-finger mickey
||||||||| Catherwood gets us a 3-finger mickey.
cease: i thought mickey had 34 fingers
Merlyn: 34! 17 on each hand?
Dexter Fong: Cat had 240 digits. a clear handfull
Dexter Fong: with 120 per hand, he can play all the Lizst piano compositions at once
Dexter Fong: It sounds awful
cease: liztomania
llanwydd: my system froze up and I had to reboot
Dexter Fong: My boots froze up and I had to resize
llanwydd: which for me is unplugging and replugging
Dexter Fong: Aha clever way to slip in a plug llan =))
cease: there may be people more intoxicated than i at the present moment, but they are not numerous
Dexter Fong: Oh yeah, well tell that to the people at the kava Festival
Dexter Fong: They've already eaten 4 pigs and only two of them were dead
cease: lol
cease: you'd think the police would object
Dexter Fong: I likes me a nice pig's nuckle with a bit of a kick in it
||||||||| Catherwood enters the room, strikes a gong, and bellows "THE TIME IN NEW YORK IS 10 O'CLOCK", then silently exits.
Dexter Fong: Catherwood, please give us 4 laps aroung the poo
||||||||| Catherwood gives us 4 laps aroung the poo.
Dexter Fong: or pool if you wish
Dexter Fong: Wow, the original blue Mutant bit
Dexter Fong: from whence kend^ came
cease: no dex, there is an earlier version
Dexter Fong: really? what?
cease: hour hour
Dexter Fong: So this is pre-recorded
cease: you'll get qa copy when i visit you
Dexter Fong: Hour Hour, wow...what broadcast or date, do you recall?
cease: no, this is re-acted. they did a lot of that on their shows
cease: 1970
Dexter Fong: Cat: The laughter in the background makes me think it is a recording but I'd have to A/B them to be sure
cease: apparentlyh they had folks in the studio with them
Dexter Fong: But I defer to your more vast knowledge
cease: i was never there, only know of this from earl jive
Dexter Fong: Yeah they often seemed to have had visitors in the studio
cease: i wish there were thousands of firefans here, talking about their ideas from their collections
Dexter Fong: We are such a small, esoteric niche group, i sometimes feel like an early christian, or scientologist
Elayne: Are you all listening to something now, or just talking about an Hour Hour.
Merlyn: heh, nutty Fred Phelps protested at the San Diego Comic Con and got outclassed: http://scienceblogs.com/pharyngula/2010/07/comic-con_reacts_to_fred_phelp.php
Elayne: Can't wait to see what the comic blogs say about it. They were duly warned.
cease: evil shit, merl
cease: el, can you play your computers through your tv?
Dexter Fong: Can you play your "droid" phone through your tricked out Hundai RS T 285
Elayne: Robin says we can connect the laptop up our HDTV if we want to, but we haven't done it.
Elayne: It's not worth it, because my monitor has a higher resolution anyway.
Dexter Fong: Nothing says togetherness like HD Tweats
cease: i want to bring you some discs. we'll see em in whatever seems appropriate
llanwydd: I don't know why anybody would pay so much for HD. I don't think it seems a lot different
Dexter Fong: llan: In certain things it *is* quite fantastic
cease: i can plug my cameras into my tv, or into computer and then into tv
cease: largeness is important, for some imagery
llanwydd: yeah, well when you watch movies, you have to have something as close to the original screen as possible
Dexter Fong: This "Matt 'n Smut isa great
Elayne: I'm going to watch the rest of the baseball game now. DInner should be here any minute. See you tomorrow, Dex. Everyone else - next week!
cease: i thikn mutt and smutt is the firesign reaction to a certain kind of ads
Dexter Fong: Sloppy Sushi, ELAYNE
cease: hat stands the test of time, long after those ads
cease: by el
||||||||| Elayne rushes off, saying "10:18 PM? Mark Time is almost on! Where's a radio?"
Dexter Fong: Cat: Isn't about everything they did?
cease: true
cease: i can barely see keyboard
Dexter Fong: Cat: It's under your 240 digits, no wonder you can't see it
Dexter Fong: Use just you left hand and play half of the Lizst piano compositions
Dexter Fong: It'll still sound awful but not as busy
Dexter Fong: My broadcast is just ending
cease: the little people
Dexter Fong: the mole people?
cease: the tree rats
Dexter Fong: or do you mean lephachauns?
Dexter Fong: leprachauns
cease: they eat the pigs
Dexter Fong sings. "We eat the pigs that keep non-semites free....
cease: it tastes like pork
Dexter Fong: "We eat the pigs that make the ho-or-se fly
cease: i yam what i ham
Dexter Fong: Man I'm still getting broadcast and it's a great collection of The Dear Firends and other compilations
cease: indeed
Dexter Fong: Help it's the Police
Dexter Fong: and STRING
cease: thats not a theory, that's my wife
Tweenux: ...
Dexter Fong: Hi Tween, you missed your etrance
Dexter Fong: entrance
llanwydd: tween's back
Dexter Fong: Tojo Carting Corporation
cease: back is a matter of speaking
cease: i thikn some tween bot is among us
Dexter Fong: BTW: WFMU, is one of the remaining few free-form stations
Merlyn: "Teen Bot", that a movie?
Dexter Fong: Make it first on your internet broadcast dail
llanwydd: WFMU sounds familiar
Dexter Fong: dial
cease: yes, let's film tween not bineg in a flick
llanwydd: not that I can hear it
Dexter Fong: llan: Long time "freeform" (for want of a better description) long time prized college station
Merlyn: anyway, I'm going to work on my flash game, see you TUESDAY maybe?
llanwydd: tuesday?
Dexter Fong: Is that flash, blue and ghostly, Merlyn
Dexter Fong: llan: & pm at this site are broadcast of FST
Dexter Fong: 7 PM
llanwydd: I see
cease: ok merl
cease: thankfully i can see too.
cease: new glasses help
llanwydd: Nite Merl
cease: you needn't see to chat though, as dave proves
llanwydd: but it helps
cease: lol, ll
Dexter Fong: I feel your loss of sight
||||||||| At 10:39 PM, Merlyn scurries out the door saying "Hey, mister ice-cream man, I've got a nickel, wait for meeeee..."
cease: no yo dont dex
llanwydd: I wear contact lenses. glasses sometimes
Dexter Fong inserts two sharpened #4 Ticonderoga Pencils into eye balls...(I hope they're eye)
llanwydd: they don't make pencils in ticonderoga anymore
Dexter Fong: But Ticonderoga own the Copywrite
llanwydd: paper is the industry here in ti
Dexter Fong: And your fined $24,575.00 for not capitalizing Ticonderoga
cease: i must have told the story here before, about my pencils in school
cease: in 50s
llanwydd: I don't remember, cat
cease: they said, eraser is for rubbing out nips
Dexter Fong: And were thery led pencils my child?
cease: we had these left over ww2 pencils in my classes in mid 50s la
Dexter Fong: Cat: Post War SAyndromes
Dexter Fong: Syndroms
cease: just using the word nips on a pencil is evil
cease: my wife is a "nip"
llanwydd: aha
Dexter Fong: Myself, I was still chasing Narzis untill about 1961
cease: my point is, even in la in the late 60s, bergamn and the boys would think nothing of sayihg Japs
llanwydd: leave it to the japs
cease: when sony began selling lots of stuff, bergman and the boys complained about it
Dexter Fong: Cat: Precisely....thats why it's so hard to judge Historical matters
cease: when i met ossman frist time, i told him he was full of shit about japanese influene on USamerica to japan is brobnigatian, lapan to us is lilipution
Dexter Fong: It's kinda funny, while Bergman (who's my age or so) focused on the Japanese, it was Choimasan's for me
llanwydd: choimasan? not familiar
Dexter Fong: Well they *did* do Germans too, but I dare say, they found the Japanese accent more fun (Thanks Kurasawa)
cease: you were old when bergman was born, dex
Dexter Fong: And of course, Proctr didn't care at all, he could do 'em all
Dexter Fong: Cat: And you were insolent when I was insolvent =))
cease: i think proctor is the fire in firesign theatre
Dexter Fong: And Bergman is the Wind
Dexter Fong: So who's earth and liquid
cease: ara
Dexter Fong: and how about that 50 pound Jellyfish that washed up on Rye Beach, in New Hampshire
Dexter Fong: Piut 150 members of the kava Foundation in the Hospital
llanwydd: sounds dangerous, dex
Dexter Fong: Step away from the glutinous mass
llanwydd: kava foundation?
Dexter Fong: If you feel a stinging on any of your members, piss on it....wait that's for sea urchins
cease: i will drift off
||||||||| cease hurries out the back door as Mayor P'nisnose blasts through the front door holding a shotgun and shouting "Where's cease?! It's 10:53 PM and my ballot boxes haven't been stuffed yet!"
Dexter Fong: Away next week Cat
Dexter Fong: llan: Cat said few were more intoxicated than he...I reminded him of the Kava festival
llanwydd: well, about time for me to drift off too
Dexter Fong: Ambien Tote and mahalo, llan
llanwydd: see you next thirsty
Dexter Fong: Catherwood, please water llanwydd
||||||||| Catherwood steps alongside Dexter Fong and mumbles "Did you want me?"
Dexter Fong: Not really Catherwood (sigh)
||||||||| Catherwood strides alongside Dexter Fong and yells "oh, fuck off Dexter Fong!"
llanwydd: LOL, nite
Dexter Fong: Oh yeah, you fuck off too Catherwood
||||||||| Catherwood steps up to Dexter Fong and says "Would you like something?"
Dexter Fong: Servility will get you nowhere Catherwood
||||||||| Catherwood gets you nowhere.
Dexter Fong: For shure, Dude
Dexter Fong: Night all
||||||||| Catherwood enters the room, strikes a gong, and bellows "THE TIME IN NEW YORK IS 11 O'CLOCK", then silently exits.
Tweenux: ...
||||||||| It's 11:10 PM, and that means it's time to play BEAT THE REAPER! And here's how our contestants did:
||||||||| llanwydd - dead from pneumonia
||||||||| Dexter Fong - dead from pneumonia
||||||||| Better luck next time! And now, back to our chatroom, which is already in progress...
||||||||| Tweenux departs at 11:26 PM, singing "Toad away, toad away; toad away, toad away! Where do you go when you're toad away?"
||||||||| "2:10 AM? 2:10 AM!!" says Catherwood, "fordprefect should be here by now...oh, THERE you are!" as fordprefect enters and sits in front of the fireplace.
||||||||| It's 2:20 AM, and that means it's time to play BEAT THE REAPER! And here's how our contestants did:
||||||||| fordprefect - dead from The Plague
||||||||| Better luck next time! And now, back to our chatroom, which is already in progress...
||||||||| Catherwood enters, and announces to all and sundry "It's 4:32 AM, time to change the log file and clean out unused rooms; please exit the chat room for a minute or two. Thank you for your patience."

The Evening's Participants:
Dexter Fong
URL References:

Rogues' Gallery:

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PP and Cat(cease)

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kend^/Dr. Headphones

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Merlyn and Tirebiter

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LeatherG & SO

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Ah, Clem and Bambi

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Compañero Señor Yämamoto

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Dexter Fong

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Bubba's Brain

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Bob D Caterino

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Dave & Katie

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404 - Not Found, Not Forgotten

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Peggy Blisswhips

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Audrey Farber

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Tiny Dr. Tim
Rest In Peace, Dear Friend

And, "The Home Team"