Special appearance by
Phil Austin as 'Paustin'
||||||||| Catherwood re-enters the Waiting Room and explains "This is the main discussion room which is logged each night."
||||||||| Catherwood announces, "The time is 4:33 AM - I now declare Thursday's chat log for December 08, 2011 officially open!"... and then, he retires back to the vestibule...
||||||||| With a theatrical clearing of his throat, Catherwood intones: "12:45 PM and late as usual, it's The--Oss--Man, just back from Funfun Town."
The--Oss--Man: It was David's Birthday, this past Tuesday!!
||||||||| At 12:46 PM, the lights go out! Rocky Rococo's voice pierces the inky darkness: "I've got you now, The--Oss--Man!" Shattering glass is heard, and then the lights come back on...
||||||||| 8:58 PM: HobbitTween jumps out of the hall closet saying "I've been listening to all of you talking about me for the past half hour!"
||||||||| Catherwood strides in with a trumpet, plays a fanfare, and proclaims "Nine PM on Thursday, December 08, 2011 - I now declare alt.comedy.firesgn-thtre's chat officially open!"
||||||||| With a theatrical clearing of his throat, Catherwood snorts derisively: "9:01 PM and late as usual, it's cease, just back from Elmertown."
cease: hi tween
HobbitTween: Hey cease
HobbitTween: Not the real Ossman, but an incredible simulation
HobbitTween: He's 75, right?
cease: i saw some pix from ossman
cease: latest show on facebook
cease: yes, born in 36. wrote a great poem about that day
HobbitTween: We;ve had some extremely cold weather down here. In the 20's at night
HobbitTween: Would you Canucks please stop that? Bad for tourism. We're known for our mild Winters ;)
cease: 3 pix from the event are here
||||||||| "9:07 PM? 9:07 PM!!" says Catherwood, "a_pizza_to_go should be here by now...oh, THERE you are!" as a_pizza_to_go enters and sits in the comfy chair.
cease: and they'll be playing portland tomorrow
HobbitTween: Hey Pizza
cease: hi pizza
a_pizza_to_go: (they'll never guess my secret identity...)
HobbitTween: Yeah, I saw that Ossman had been there. Very cool
HobbitTween: Do you like anchovies?
cease: the lads are really active these days
HobbitTween: That's great to hear, cease :)
a_pizza_to_go: hey C. hey T.
a_pizza_to_go: Nino (like the president) is still broken.
a_pizza_to_go: goin' to Portland C?, not that far a drive.
cease: too far for me
cease: i barely drive
||||||||| Principalpoop waltzes in at 9:12 PM carrying an obsidian door knocker.
cease: hi poop
a_pizza_to_go: that's like going to San Fran for me. about 8 hrs?
||||||||| Catherwood ushers llanwydd in through the front door at 9:13 PM, picks up his cues (only slightly scorched), and heads for the billiard room.
Principalpoop: is that my pizza?
llanwydd: good evening
Principalpoop: any anchovies?
Principalpoop: hi llan
cease: hi llan
Principalpoop: hi all
a_pizza_to_go: have a slice.
llanwydd: we don't deliver to sector r
HobbitTween: Hey P, LL
a_pizza_to_go: hey Llano.
Principalpoop: they never come up in the mountains, sigh
Principalpoop: wow, lots of pepperoni
llanwydd: thanks but I don't do cholestrol anymore
Principalpoop: where is the cholesterol in pizza?
a_pizza_to_go: no chovies... no roni. just plain pizza here.
llanwydd: I had my own homemade ratatouille for dinner
a_pizza_to_go: extra rat, i assume?
Principalpoop: rat meat is expensive, so hard to gut and clean the carcass
cease: another spinache pizza for dinner for me
a_pizza_to_go: just go to "Rat In The Box"
Principalpoop: next to Puke in the Box?
Principalpoop: and before you get to sh t in the box hehe
cease: one of the best of the firesign parody ads
a_pizza_to_go: you guys never saw that FT commercial?
a_pizza_to_go: ah C, has.
cease: better than anything i've ever seen in adbusters
Principalpoop: C saw
a_pizza_to_go: i still like Bear Whiz, but yeah, that's a great one.
cease: from their movie eobe, which is more comercials than album or movie
a_pizza_to_go: i also like "Sneezers Chicken"
llanwydd: ...with a bucket o'cluck
a_pizza_to_go: P & B did that one, as i recall?
a_pizza_to_go is old
cease: do you remember any commercial parodies on their first album?
Principalpoop: with J, on white bread
HobbitTween: I like the Jack Poet commercials
a_pizza_to_go: had to be on "Beat The Reaper" ?
llanwydd: there was a commercial for turkish taffy...no, it was...
cease: album 2 begins with an ad for ralph spoilsport and it's been ads ever since
cease: 2 & 3 were both influenced by A Life in the Day, also called The TV Set from 67
a_pizza_to_go: Jack Poet Volkwagen.
cease: but i think it was the only mushroom play to use ads
cease: poet was later
Principalpoop: Was castor oil flakes a parody?
a_pizza_to_go: and, the "Musical Heritage Surplus Club of Hong Kong..."
cease: i think so
a_pizza_to_go: "Balliol Bros" (lip stiffener)
cease: they hada brief radio show at the end of 68 that jack poet sponsored
Principalpoop: is there a theoretical relationship between parody and paradigm?
cease: what a pair!
Principalpoop: you could do shakesphere from it
a_pizza_to_go: only when irony is on vacation.
llanwydd: so what is the commercial parody on bozos?
Principalpoop: walt disney world
a_pizza_to_go: that whole album is based on barkering.
HobbitTween: Shoplifter's Market is very cool
llanwydd: you're getting away with more
HobbitTween: "There are no checkout counters. We just follow you to your car and read you your rights."
a_pizza_to_go: "self" checkout these days. same thing, more or less.
Principalpoop: i refuse to use the darn thing
Principalpoop: wait in regular lane until some cashier goes to work
llanwydd: me too. you never know what can go wrong
a_pizza_to_go: sometimes you know exactly what can go wrong.
Principalpoop: simply a money saver for the company
Principalpoop: check out machines don't demand dignity or a living wage
HobbitTween: That's it. P
HobbitTween: Saves on 'humanware'
llanwydd: I don't know of any place but wal-mart that has them but that is usually where I shop for groceries
Principalpoop: oh llan, no, don'g give wal-mart your money
Principalpoop: find a grocery store that hire union workers
a_pizza_to_go: there's a place here now called "Fresh & Easy" that's all automated.
cease: a couple local grocery stores have them i use them
llanwydd: no? like I have the money to spend elsewhere
Principalpoop: the race to the bottom, thanks
a_pizza_to_go: yeah, well, you're Canadian, you can't help yourself... oh wait--- you are helping yourself? a paradox, eh?
llanwydd: I'm picturing "Fresh & Easy" staffed entirely by armed guards
HobbitTween: a nice pair
HobbitTween: lol LL
HobbitTween: also about the size of it
Principalpoop: i don't find wal-mart groceries cheaper, or I would be tempted to, I am on a tight budget
cease: the grocery stores are all hiring here.
HobbitTween: I also shop at WallyWorld. It's on my bus route and I can buy everything I need at one store. Whatcha gonna do :/
Principalpoop: cool, and canada has health care
HobbitTween: If you shop carefully, Walmart prices are good. You do have to be careful though
cease: we sure do
HobbitTween: Sometimes name brands are cheaper than their house brand
llanwydd: when I get my laser surgery it will be in montreal
a_pizza_to_go: dontcha hafta be a citizen Llan?
a_pizza_to_go: speaking of National Health... great band, eh?
llanwydd: I know plenty of new yorkers who have gone to canada for medical and dental care
a_pizza_to_go: and they still vote Republican, eh?
llanwydd: I watched a National Health video on youtube. the music was good but the performance was weird
cease: dental care? people here go to mexico
llanwydd: that's funny, cat
HobbitTween: There are travel packages for people who want to go to MX for medical care
llanwydd: "I've got a cleaning in Juarez this afternoon"
cease: expensive, but good here. cheap, but you get what you pay for in mexico
HobbitTween: Although one must remember the admonition from EYKIW that their son was 'in medical school in Mexico for a couple of weeks" ;)
a_pizza_to_go: i live 30 miles from the border. there are a lotta quacks down there. gotta be careful.
Principalpoop: next time I need a tooth out, I will go to a bar and insult some big guy until it is taken care of
Principalpoop: faster and cheaper
a_pizza_to_go: you must need dentures by now, eh Poop?
llanwydd: interesting, tween. I never noticed that 2 weeks of medical school joke
Principalpoop: just starting that route now, grumble mumble
a_pizza_to_go: Catherwood, get Poop some adhesive.
||||||||| Catherwood gets poop some adhesive.
Principalpoop: taking the first mold of my mouth on the 20th, any advice?
cease: i just consulted eykiw which i thought was in the new book.
cease: no, it's another play with the same name
a_pizza_to_go: yeah... Implants. i won't do root canal anymore. waste of time and money.
llanwydd: does eykiw rhyme with haiku?
llanwydd: or does it just look that way
Principalpoop: good advice that, i already found that is true
a_pizza_to_go: yup. it only seems more expensive, 'til ya realize, you'll be at the implant stage eventually.
Principalpoop: live and learn, ouch lol
llanwydd: I'm curious. what does an implant cost?
a_pizza_to_go: but the trick is, to do a few at once, since the healing time is the same six to nine months.
llanwydd: is an implant anything like an eggplant?
a_pizza_to_go: oh, they can cost ten grand apiece... but root canal and crowns cost two or more grand, and they won't last.
Principalpoop: sort of like a birthday cake candle holder hehe
a_pizza_to_go: plus, you can still have residual pain after root canal, even tho' the nerves are removed.
Principalpoop: apparently the smart move is to have the implant planted right after the extraction, hole is there already
a_pizza_to_go: but seriously folx, where's Dave Assman?
llanwydd: so do you pay for the extraction along with the implant or is that another ten thousand dollars?
a_pizza_to_go: sometimes you can do that, not always.
Principalpoop: extraction is much much cheaper, depending on the tooth
Principalpoop: certainly nearer 100 for any of them
cease: ossman must be on his way to portland for tomorrow's show
Principalpoop: except wisdom or impacted big molars or something like that
a_pizza_to_go: but if you got no molars, you can't eat. (or be eaten)
Principalpoop: tomorrow already? wow
cease: dex must be enjoying himself in vegas
||||||||| Catherwood intones "It's 9:57 PM; let's see who falls in through our celebrity trap door!" -- he pulls a lever, and Paustin plummets onto the oriental shag rug.
Principalpoop: rolling or getting rolled hehe
llanwydd: so then a whole mouthful of implants would run you $320,000
llanwydd: Hi Phil
HobbitTween: Hey Phil :)
cease: wow, here's austin
Principalpoop: speak of the devil, or his highness,
Principalpoop: good evening sir
cease: it's not the postman, it's paustin
Paustin: So tonight were all four on KBOO radio from 10 to midnight PST
a_pizza_to_go: you participating tonite, or just checkin' the dipstick?
Principalpoop: again? wonderful, cool
cease: can we hear it online, phil?
llanwydd: weirdly cool
||||||||| Catherwood steals into the room, and pipes up "Announcing 'Elayne', also known as 'Nancy' -- the time is 9:59 PM" -- then he slowly retires back into the anteroom...
Paustin: They have a live stream on the website
Elayne: Evenin' all!
llanwydd: Hi Elayne
cease: hi el
Principalpoop: sounds like the official halloween station of california
a_pizza_to_go: can you pee in it?
Principalpoop: Hi E
Elayne: Hey, Phil A's here! Thanks for the lovely birthday wishes last week, PA!
HobbitTween: Got a URL, Phil?
HobbitTween: Hey E
Elayne: "KBOO" sounds lke the Hallowe'en Station.
||||||||| Catherwood enters the room, strikes a gong, and bellows "THE TIME IN NEW YORK IS 10 O'CLOCK", then silently exits.
Elayne: Was Dex here tonight? I wanted to see if he'd gotten back from Vegas yet.
llanwydd: princ beat you to it, elayne
cease: doesnt look like it, el
a_pizza_to_go: Catherwood, get Mr. Austin a nice hot cheeselog.
||||||||| Catherwood gets mr austin a nice hot cheeselog.
Elayne: Dang, 10 PM and I haven't eaten yet. Be right back.
Paustin: Just type in KBOO to googlie
cease: is that a portland station?
Principalpoop: it is portland, origamion
HobbitTween: So 10pm Pacific
Principalpoop: boot from the coop?
a_pizza_to_go: is it NPR, or Pacifica?
HobbitTween: Midnight here :/
Principalpoop: word to your mother, jake
HobbitTween: Hope they archive it
llanwydd: midnight? where are you, atlantis?
llanwydd: just joking. I get it.
a_pizza_to_go: it's still 7pm in Portland. Have you had dinner yet, Phil?
Principalpoop: boots riley, keeping it real
a_pizza_to_go: (perhaps Mr. Austin is having a Pizza to go...?)
Principalpoop: i turned kboo off a while ago, you folks still listening to it
Paustin: They have a live stream on the website
Principalpoop: yes, they were outside some home trying to stop an eviction
Principalpoop: http://www.oneforthetable.com/oftt/stories/explore-like-a-local-vancouver-food-carts.html for you cat
cease: hope you sell lots of copies of Anhthynge
cease: a verey substantial volume
cease: havnet tried the new food carts yet. too cold outside
Principalpoop: hot dogs with japanese toppings? go on... hehe
a_pizza_to_go: those Japs are such perverts.
cease: i dont know how to take that
a_pizza_to_go: like a man, i mean a joke!
Principalpoop: rather he call them Nips?
cease: lots of japs and nips in old firesign plays
Principalpoop: the anniversary of pearl harbor, lighten up hehe
a_pizza_to_go: it's all those Jewish writers.
cease: we had ww2 pencils when i was in elementary school in van nuys
Principalpoop: a day that will live in infamy, we surrender
Elayne: Alas, I don't think I'll be up till 1 AM Eastern time to listen in. Have a great show, Phil - do say hi to the others for me, and especially a happy belated to Dave and Peter.
cease: some had erasers and were inscribed "for rubbing out nips"
a_pizza_to_go: now THAT's offensive.
llanwydd: it's the anniversary of john lennon's assassination as well. play some beatles in remembrance
Principalpoop: the cartoons from that period are way out of line....
llanwydd: I have friend in van nuys who is an actor
Principalpoop: watching some keith richard interview clips at youtube, wow
a_pizza_to_go: i've outlived Lennon by decades (Phuk, i'm old...)
Principalpoop: dog wants out, you are not the only one
cease: anyone else got their copy of Anyhynge yet?
a_pizza_to_go: i know, brother.
llanwydd: I didn't know about anythynge. why didn't you tell me?
cease: my copy came this week
llanwydd: I had the original that came out in 1981 or 82
cease: this is the book, llan
a_pizza_to_go: crap... we've outlived Georgie as well.
Elayne: Good lord, it is, isn't it? 31 years.
llanwydd: and I bought a copy of the original script from The Young Tom Edison Club
Elayne: I overheard the young accountants in the cubicles next to me talking about The Beatles today, as if they were a brand-new discovery. Does my heart good.
a_pizza_to_go: i got "Big Book Of Plays" back in th' day.
cease: indeed, el. i was delighted when bit got into sgt. pepper
llanwydd: I had Big Book of Plays and Big Mystery Joke Book. I wish I still had them
a_pizza_to_go: yup. Beatles are still ground zero for this olde farte.
cease: now they're 2, 2, 2 books in one
HobbitTween: What's really good, lasts
llanwydd: I don't remember what happened to them but they are collector's items now
cease: blues just came in, looking healthy
HobbitTween: WC and Marx Bros are still relevant
cease: true, tween
HobbitTween: All Hail Marx & Lennon!
a_pizza_to_go: recently, a remastered set of the sound Laurel & Hardy stuff was finally released. i recommend it muchly.
cease: & Lime
llanwydd: what's really good lasts in a sense but the "one who offended all" proved that there is an unfortunate exception
a_pizza_to_go: ten-disc set on DVD.
llanwydd: a cynical thought entered my mind at the time and it never left me. I anything great and important comes into being, somebody will want to destroy it
cease: saw them dancing to santana song on youtube
llanwydd: pardon me. I didn't mean "I", believe me
HobbitTween: There are always defenders of the Status Quo, LL
HobbitTween: Phil, really great to see all you guys so active
||||||||| It's 10:25 PM, and that means it's time to play BEAT THE REAPER! And here's how our contestants did:
||||||||| Paustin - dead from the yaws
||||||||| Better luck next time! And now, back to our chatroom, which is already in progress...
a_pizza_to_go: well, the good shit has always been a "connoisseurs only" club. you know, like being an FT fan.
HobbitTween: Got that one in just in time lol
Elayne: Alas, Phil has departed...
Principalpoop: back full moon tonight, bright
llanwydd: what do the yaws look like
a_pizza_to_go: you killed him, Tweeny.
Principalpoop: damn deer as big as horse just standing by the side of the house
cease: he alerted us to the show tonight.
HobbitTween: wow P
llanwydd: maybe a small horse
a_pizza_to_go: yeah P. sure makes a big hairy guy like me, thirsty.
Principalpoop: the magnificance of nature, or some such thing
HobbitTween: As I said, I hope they archive it and post the archive at Facebook, etc
cease: probably will, tween
Principalpoop: lunar eclipse this weekend, last one for 3 years
Principalpoop: yes, they over mp3 of previous shows at the kboo site
cease: this seems like an extenison of the rfo shows they did recently
HobbitTween: Well buckaroos, both of mickey's hands are pointing towards the bed
llanwydd: it will last for 3 years? what's happening to the myoon?
Principalpoop: all moved in?
HobbitTween: Have a great week all, and be well and happy :)
HobbitTween: Still unpacking, P
llanwydd: Nite Tween
Elayne: Night, Tween!
cease: same to you, tween
HobbitTween: Until last time, again...
Elayne: I think I'll be heading off as well. Next week, all!
||||||||| Around 10:29 PM, Elayne walks off into the sunset...
Principalpoop: they won't line up again llan, like billiard balls
||||||||| 10:29 PM -- HobbitTween left for parts unknown. (Entry from Nick Danger's "Idiots I Have Been Paid To Follow").
Principalpoop: night E
cease: bye el
Principalpoop: ugh tween
llanwydd: yeah, I've had a total eclipse of the computer more than once
Principalpoop: good luck tween, thanks pizza, cool
a_pizza_to_go: i too shall go whence the Bozos. Nitey & Thanks to all.
cease: by pizza
||||||||| At 10:31 PM, the lights go out! Rocky Rococo's voice pierces the inky darkness: "I've got you now, a_pizza_to_go!" Shattering glass is heard, and then the lights come back on...
llanwydd: Nite aptg
Principalpoop: de bus de bus like the de plane de plane, everyone taking off
cease: off we flee
Principalpoop: cat llan and poop, what a stew
||||||||| cease departs at 10:32 PM, singing "Toad away, toad away; toad away, toad away! Where do you go when you're toad away?"
llanwydd: me too. goodnight.
Principalpoop: no no no
||||||||| At 10:32 PM, the lights go out! Rocky Rococo's voice pierces the inky darkness: "I've got you now, llanwydd!" Shattering glass is heard, and then the lights come back on...
Principalpoop: ahh ok, night night, good luck
Principalpoop: night all
||||||||| Principalpoop leaves to catch the 10:32 PM train to Elmertown.
||||||||| "11:13 PM? 11:13 PM!!" says Catherwood, "ah,clem should be here by now...oh, THERE you are!" as ah,clem enters and sits on the divan.
||||||||| ah,clem rushes off, saying "11:15 PM? Mark Time is almost on! Where's a radio?"
||||||||| Catherwood enters, and announces to all and sundry "It's 4:32 AM, time to change the log file and clean out unused rooms; please exit the chat room for a minute or two. Thank you for your patience."