Where is Nancy?

(note: Select or highlight the following text to see the answers given)

>Nancy works at DanceLand (next to the Automat)

How can I talk to her?

>There are two ways, but only one method will allow you to get a
>perfect score.  You can either buy a dance ticket and talk to her,
>or disguise yourself as a woman by buying a wig at the Bozo store.
>A woman can talk to any of the dancers without a ticket.

So which method should I use?

>The wig will enable you to find Nancy AND get into the Paranoid
>Theater (only gentlemen need to wear ties).  This is cheaper than
>buying a dance ticket and a tie from the Bozo store.

So I should buy a wig?

>No.  I went to a lot of trouble programming the Nancy puzzle, and
>buying the wig lets you completely bypass it.  You should have
>realized that yourself.  Later, there will be hints on cheaper
>ways to get into the Paranoid Theater.  Buy a ticket.

If I give the ticket window a dollar, I get ten tickets!

>That's not a question.  But since I'm typing both sides of this
>conversation...you need to break your dollar first.

What should I buy before going to talk to Nancy?

>Good question.  At the start of the game, you can buy a few items
>with your dollar: A wig, A tie, or a funny hat at the Bozo store
>(noses are out of stock), or a nickel cigar or a movie ticket at
>Loew's Theater.  You already know that the wig and tie aren't the
>road to a perfect score, and the funny hat is useless.  You might
>have played the game enough to know that slightly cheaper cigars
>can be found later in the game, and that you can't yet use the
>movie ticket effectively.  So you shouldn't buy anything.

What should I do with the dollar, then?

>Get change at the Automat.  By the way, did you know that some
>magicians can train themselves to count up to two dozen items
>at a glance?  Most people can't do that.

So I should buy a ticket and talk to Nancy after that?

>No, you should look at Nancy.  You can't just buy a ticket
>and expect a woman to fall at your feet.  You need to find out what
>she wants - maybe she has something YOU want in return...

There's a machine that sells something she might want, but I need a penny.

>This is a Nick Danger game and you haven't eaten anything
>connected with the Firesign Theatre yet?  Actually, you
>should try eating everything in the game at least once.

The machine is (cough) gummed up.

>Hey, who's giving the clues here?
>OK...you need to find some kind of caustic chemical.

Where do I find that?

>Look around, maybe you can barter for some.  Remember, this is
>a Firesign Theatre-themed game.  And remember, the proof of the
>pudding is in the eating.  But seriously, don't eat the chemicals.
>At this point, you should have something Nancy wants after spending
>10 cents on a ticket and 15 cents (yes, 15) on other things.

So how do I figure out which dancer is Nancy?

>You can't.  You only know the color of her dress, and there are
>three dancers wearing dresses of that color.  But (if you make the
>game-reasonable assumption that all the dancers who smoke are shown
>smoking), you can deduce that one dancer must either be Nancy or
>the USO dancer, because she can't be any of the other three.

How does that help?

>If she's Nancy, you've found her; if she's the USO dancer, she
>won't use up your dance ticket and will suggest another dancer.
>Her description will allow you to identify the other dancer
>and that will leave only one dancer who can be Nancy.

After I find Nancy, am I done here?

>No.  Give her something she wants (by clicking on her, then the item).
>NOW you're done here.

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