"Give me immortality or give me death!"

That's the motto here at Ralph Spoilsport's new and used BodyShop, in the City...Of The Future. Ralph Spoilsport Hiya, friends, Ralph Spoilsport here to tell you that everybody must die, but you don't have to be there when it happens. That's why we're having a great Going Out of Body Sale!

Yes, you can live forever while your friends fall apart around you like rotten fruit. And here's how -- Lease an organ or limb from our Headless Body Farm. It's made in America from Americans! Enter the new century with these exclusive clone-ons:
  • nap-velour designer genes
  • deluxe follical hair-mat grafting with upgraded media-sensitive, stimulated wrapper-filler
  • rear-rolled non-glossy carbon-intensified glutal guards
  • power moons and tinted-tit grill-spoilers in slash, dash or faux flannel

So come on down to Ralph Spoilsport's City Of The Future. And do it today, because there may not be a tomorrow.