From the desk of George Tirebiter

Arnold Schwarzenegger
George Tirebiter: Thank you. I'd like to take advantage of your kind invitation to join the round table this morning to respond to some of the many e-mails and media inquiries I've received as to my reaction to the success of Arnold Schwarzenegger's goobernatorial campaign.

Of course, as Surrealist Vice President of the U.S., I had to deal with some pretty melty watches. Indeed I did! And the distinctions between illusion and reality and what we agree to call reality are as real as say, well, an Andy Warhol soup can.

Television, now home of mock makeovers with actors who look like doctors on Cable and actual plastic surgery rehabs on the Networks, real congressmen and fictional Speakers of the House in the same story arc, perfectly good CIA/Harrison Ford movie plots rolled out as CNN Washington buzz, has apparently created an Electorate which demands both drastic and plastic surgery and a demi-god - risen thanks to hard work in the gym and fun in the Jacuzzi to near-fictional status, fused with his alter-ego Super-Hero self, or non-self, an inwinceable robot and -- he's married to a minor Princess of the Blood.

Maybe we'll get Jay Leno for Vice President instead of Dick Chaney. Well, I say, good for them, the new California Electorate. "What is reality?" the poets ask. We may never know again.

George Tirebiter
Oktoberfest 11, 2003

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